What’s Happening (Blog)

I hope you are all having a lovely weekend… welcome back to the jungle… and I mean that in the most real way… oh, sigh… have the mighty have fallen… It might be easier to tell you who IS there… ugh… the Men fell and fell hard… the ladies are starting to pile up…

Another five setter for 9 of the 14 matches… only two were a straight set victory in the third round… #18 Tien of the USA took a straight set loss to Cobolli… Rublev took out Borges of Portugal in three.. Four set losses were #31 Nakashima of the US ousted by Auger-Aliassime… Tabilo takes out Kouame of France (17 years old)… very excited to see what he can do at another tournament… Mensik over #8 De Minaur of Australia… Carreno Busta over Tirante of Argentina… last was Halys of France who tried but failed against the wife beater… sigh… now, so many five setters… De Jong takes out #13 Khachanov of Russia… Michelsen of the USA loses to Jodar…. #3 Ass Hat is OUT to Fonseca (oh, Kresimir is happy)… Paul of the US is also a loser in five to Ruud… Svajda takes out #25 Cerundolo of Argentina… Arnaldi takes a victory over Collignon of Belgium… Tiafoe took down Faria of Portugal… eek… so many… Berrenttini over Comesana with a ~ over the n from Argentina… lots of Argentines… Now, Cerundolo the younger did take his five set victory over Landaluce of Spain… definitely an up an comer… just not today satan… not today…

Lots of straight set victories for the ladies… Sabalenka took it to Kasatkina of Australia… Osaka ousted #17 Jovic in three tight sets… SUCH an incredible match… and Jovic, she has some GAME… see you in London girl… Keys takes out #9 Mboko of Canada… Miss Genocide 2026 (shnaider) over Oliynykova of the Ukraine… ugh… I really did want to see this defeat… but, the other way around… yuck… Potapova ousts #4 Gauff of the USA and the defending champion… oh well… Kalinskaya over Osorio of Columbia… Chwalinska over Sakkari of Greece… Parry over #6 Anisimova from America… Svitolina quickly erases the German, Korpatsch… Bencic over Sterns of the US… Kostyuk over Golubic of Switzerland… Swiatek over Linette of Poland… that is some pole on pole destruction… Andreeva over #27 Bouzkova of Czechia… Teichmann over #10 Muchova also of Czechia… not a good day for that country… Cirstea over Sierra of Argentina with a DOUBLE BAGEL… and the beater of Rybakina, Starodubtseva of the Ukraine is out to Wang of China in straight sets… oh well… two Ukrainians left… Still rooting for them…

Now for you ridiculous people… oh, here it comes… stop the water works Kresimir… you knew this was coming… and who did it happen to??? Rob… REALLY!?!?!?! what is going on… the world is on fire and he is stepping up in BOTH draws to lead… now, we know it isn’t by a lot… but it is enough to put you all on notice… and there are not a lot of points bouncing around for a lot of you… Rob, Denise, & Eric have lost both of their finalists in the men’s draw… and Kresimir has officially lost both of his finalists in the women’s draw… so, congrats to Rob for holding this position (of both) for a bit of time… but, I think it will shift soon… and then everyone could lose tomorrow and the next day and we will be singing about Rob for a year… but, that isn’t going to happen, right?

Bold – finalist(s) left; underlined the winner
Italics – semifinalist(s) left
Regular – quarterfinalist(s) left

Men’s Draw

Name	Points	Quarterfinalists & Beyond
Rob	99	Auger-Alissime/ Ruud/Zverev
Kresimir	96	Ruud/Cobolli/Zverev/ Tabilo/Jodar
Denise	93	Zverev/Auger Alissime
Len	92	Zverev/Ruud/Rublev/ Jodar
Kelly	89	Zverev/Auger-Alissime/Rublev
Eric	89	Auger-Alissime/Zverev
James K.	89	Zverev/Jodar

Women’s Draw

Name	Points	Quarterfinalists & Beyond
Rob	105	Sabalenka/Swiatek/ Bencic/Andreeva
Kresimir	100	Sabalenka/Svitolina/ Kostyuk/Andreeva
Kelly	100	Sabalenka/Svitolina/ Swiatek/Andreeva
Eric	99	Sabalenka/Swiatek/ Svitolina/Andreeva
Len	97	Svitolina/Sabalenka/ Swiatek/Andreeva
Denise	96	Sabalenka/Swiatek/ Svitolina/Andreeva
James K.	92	Swiatek/Sabalenka/ Svitolina/Andreeva

Make sense… I mean… it looks as if Ruud makes the final, Kresimir could come back… if Swiatek wins the open, James could come back and take the title… I mean… how exciting is THAT… but, no guarantees… we are at round four kids… and it is anyone’s game, but for now… we will tip our hats to Mr. Rob, who is in Italy presently… Buona fortuna faccia di merda… stiamo venendo a prenderti… and I am sure you are all running to look up that phrase… I have been practicing my Italian… so… ATTENTO! per favore… Maybe that should have been in French… oh well, a missed opportunity… Hopefully he will take the phrase to a local and get a nice slap across the face… done with love, always with love…

The Commish!

No, that is not a joke… and they used to have 13, so the next time YOU want to complain about time, maybe you should move to France… Let’s call it fun in the zone… starring FRANCE! Ok… more of a battle than one would think… this got messier… I agree, I didn’t think it could get worse… but, it did… and there are spoilers from today’s matches… so, deal with it…

Let’s rip off the band-aid and get to it… #1 Sinner is out… he lost due to his inability, yet again, to get out of trouble with his cramping… personally there is something wrong with him physiologically speaking… He can’t compete in the heat… I wonder if that is why he leaned towards skiing when he was younger… maybe? Anyway… Cerudolo (younger brother to #25) knocked him out… It isn’t fun to watch a match where that is happening… Berrettini takes out Frenchman #22 Rinderknech in straight 6-4s… #14 Darderi of Italy is also gone from the tournament to Comesana with a ~ over the n… #5 Shelton of the USA is gone to Collignon… I will say, I almost picked that upset… but Shelton won a smaller lead up tournament – so, I gave him grace… and now grace is on her knees in a dark alley… oh, wait… where are we? Right… Tabilo gets a walk over #16 Vacherot of Monaco… His cousin also out… up above (#22)… must be nice to come from so much money… <eye roll>… Tirante over #21 Davidovich Fokina in four sets… and last out is #32 Humbert to fellow Frenchie, Halys… not a surprise… You will see Humbert better on the grass…

The ladies had a couple of bloopers… not nearly as awful as the men… but, for some of us… we are holding a candle to the fallen… #23 Mertens of Belgium takes a loss to Chwalkinska in straight sets… I didn’t catch this one, but I am sure it was CRAZY on Court Philipe Chatrier… Parry of France ousts #30 Li of the USA… Korpatsch takes out #32 Wang of China… three sets… but back to Beijing for you… ok… she can stay and do a grass tournament or two… Linette over #29 Ostapenko… DAMN IT JIM!!! UGH… I really needed that win from Ostapenko… she’s absolutely ridiculous with her unnerving steps during a serve and questioning ANY and ALL line calls that don’t go her way… but, she hits the ball so hard… oh well… get out… #13 Paolini of Italy out in three sets to Sierra… the Italian hasn’t had great results for a bit… I hope she is ok… She is such a breath of fresh air when she is doing well… #26 Baptiste… came off of a semifinal run in Madrid and she went down like the Berlin Wall… Wang hit the ball, the ball came and Hailey went down… the ball went by… and even watching the replay, it is difficult to see what happened exactly… In my research it appears she may have hyperextended her knee towards the interior… Her father rushed on the court and was asked to continually step back… now, we all know that he is a dad and he is concerned for her… add the layer of a bunch of white people telling him to stay back… it was a bit tough to watch… Again, no idea of the conversation or what is going on… but, I hope she is doing well and will return to the Court soon… She is really good for tennis… Saved the best for last… #2 Rybakina of Russia, I mean Kazakhstan, is out of the tournament to Stardubtseva in a very big win for the Ukrainian player… Now, just as a side note… and a small spotlight… there are four Ukrainian players still left in the Women’s draw… Oliynykova, Svitolina, Kostyuk, and Stardubtseva… happy for each and everyone of them… and I hope they carry on…

I don’t think I am going to comment any further on other people’s picks… sheesh… my people lose when that happens… so, GO De Minaur… win the whole fucking thing… He got a walkover from Blockx… Prizmic also lost to Fonseca in five… sigh… fuck my knowledge of tennis… I know nothing Jon Snow… so… all that being said… Kresimir still holds the lead in the men’s draw and is now dominating on the women’s side also… BUT… you know… it’s going down… and we are yelling timber… and yes, I know that is an old reference (2013)… but it works here… A reminder, yes everyone has Sinner to win the tournament… and while I may have helped pursuade that thought… you’re welcome… we all get zero points and whoever has the runner-up, will likely win… unless they all lose… Will Djokovic get 25? Will Zverev get his (only) 1? Will De Minaur not only make the final, but clinch the win? yawn… I hope not… I said it… move on… Bold means you picked them to the final…

Men’s Draw

Name	Points	Top Semi	Bottom Semi
Kresimir	81	Sinner/Cobolli	Ruud/Zverev
Rob	78	Sinner/Medvedev	Djokovic/Zverev
Denise	78	Sinner/Medvedev	De Minaur/Fritz
Kelly	77	Sinner/Medvedev	Djokovic/Zverev
Eric	74	Sinner/Auger-Alliassime	Djokovic/Zverev
James K.	74	Sinner/Tien	Djokovic/Zverev
Len	71	Sinner/Medvedev	Ruud/Zverev

Bold is your winner and Bold/Italics is your runner-up…

Women’s Draw

Name	Points	Top Semi	Bottom Semi
Kresimir	82	Sabalenka/Gauff	Svitolina/Rybakina
Denise	78	Sabalenka/Gauff	Swiatek/Rybakina
Rob	78	Sabalenka/Anisimova	Swiatek/Rybakina
Eric	78	Sabalenka/Gauff	Swiatek/Rybakina
Len	76	Sabalenka/Gauff	Svitolina/Rybakina
Kelly	76	Sabalenka/Gauff	Svitolina/Rybakina
James K.	74	Sabalenka/Gauff	Swiatek/Rybakina

That is how it went during the second round… the other seeds held and we move on… There are still some GREAT matches to be played… Who is going to come out of the top half of the draw for the Men? Cobolli? Felix? Tien? Maybe a player who has never done much at a major or completely unranked… This is a bit exciting… Enjoy round three…

The Commish!

See all the things you get to learn when you play in the bracket… I would venture one other person (at least) knew that… I am looking at you New Jersey! I hope you are all well and enjoying watching the players out in Paris trying to maintain with all this HEAT… How delightful for them… As the spring turns into summer, I am sure we will all be feeling it… ok, likely not me… BUT I will when I head to England… I will be needing an air conditioner… STAT! Anyway… the tennis has been a bit of fun… I am going to focus mainly on the seeds and as they whittle away I will add in the other scores as we go… well and by scores… who won… I mean, if you need an exhaustive list of all the winners and losers with all the stats, I am sure there is an app for that…

For the ladies… oh, my… #5 Pegula of the USA is out to Birrell in three sets… OUCH… that was a bracket buster… I mean, clay isn’t a natural surface for the billionaire, but now it is a fact! #14 Alexandrova of Russia loses her match in straight sets to Osorio… picked it! HAHA! Sakkari upset #12 Noskova (Czechia)… now, I haven’t spent a lot of time watching Noskova but, not really impressed… Sakkari is currently the hottest man on the women’s tour… I love her… sadly, no one chose that upset… oh well… #20 Samsonova of Russia is out in two sets to Teichmann – again, another failing Russian… unsure what is going on with them, but… oh well… c-ya! The rest of the seeds held… however, there were some notable scares on the lady front… Svitolina was taken to three sets by Bondar of Hungary and Baptiste was almost ousted by Krejcikova of Czechia… that was a dangerous draw and a GREAT first two sets… So, overall a very good first round for the seeded ladies…

Oh men… what a mess… yes, it was a bit of a mess… #30 Moutet of France lost his match in five sets to Kopriva so cute though… little frenchman… #9 Bublik of Kazakhstan takes a loss to Struff in four sets… it was a tight back and forth, but the German laid the smack down… #29 Griekspoor of the Nederlands loses to Arnaldi in four sets… two tie breakers and one heart broken… maybe next year… #20 Norrie of the UK takes a loss to Vallejo… he retired… Such a major win over Medvedev last year in the first round… now, back to the bottom of the barrel… sucks to be you… And speaking of #6 Medvedev… he takes a first round loss to Walton… two years in a row… Medvedev made the semis of Rome losing to Sinner, but that was his ONLY competition in the tournament… He has no balance on the clay, he likes steady feet… so… no soup for you! #23 Etcheverry of Argentina is ousted by Borges in three sets… Borges is consistent, but less so on clay… so, a bit of a shocker… just a bit… #7 Fritz is taken out by fellow American Basavareddy in four sets… I am not going to say anything… my mouth is zipped closed, but I may have smiled the entirety of this match, just watching it all go down… #12 Lehecka of Czechia is out in straight sets to Carreno Busta… I mean… this guy doesn’t have clay court experience… He is very good on the hard courts… but here, his game doesn’t work… Two notable matches were Wawrinka who lost to De Jong of the Nederlands (replaced #17 Fils)… Four sets… and it was nice to see Stan on the clay for the last time… he will be missed… and Monfils… also retiring this year… Monfils took a loss to fellow countryman, Gaston (in five sets)… It was nice to see him also… I did see him lose to Draper last year on Philippe Chatrier… well, the world keeps on turning…

Told you it was a blood bath… Now, what have you naughty boys and girls been up to? Hmmmm… nothing good… We have a tie on the women’s side… Len and Kresimir at the top… looking down… not a lot of options though… because you are ALL just behind… believe me… I can smell your decay… ashes to ashes and dust to dust… I am sure you will all knock it out in the coming rounds… but for now… this is where you sit…

Lady’s Draw

Name	Points	Champion	Runner-up
Len	44	Svitolina	Gauff
Kresimir	44	Rybakina	Gauff
Kelly	42	Rybakina	Sabalenka
Denise	42	Sabalenka	Kazakhstan
Rob	42	Sabalenka	Swiatek
Eric	40	Sabalenka	Swiatek
James K.	40	Swiatek	Sabalenka

I am going to point out something to you all… Something I do know, that likely you didn’t… Swiatek and Ostapenko have played six times in their careers… and Ostapenko has never lost… not even on clay… now, six times isn’t a lot, I understand… but, if it gets there… that will be in the back of Iga’s mind… for sure… but, maybe she will win… maybe…

Oh the men… yeah… Kresimir crushed you all… at least in the first round… very few risk takers and they paid off… but, you know how it goes… pick one lose the next one… so… here we go!

Men’s Draw

Name	Points	Champion	Runner-up
Kresimir	51	Sinner	Ruud
Rob	43	Sinner	De Minaur
Denise	42	Sinner	Djokovic
Kelly	40	Sinner	Zverev
Eric	39	Sinner	Djokovic
James K.	39	Sinner	Zverev
Len	37	Sinner	Zverev

Ruud has been playing well at least for the last bit of time… so, why not… I don’t like Djokovic or Zverev… so, on a wing and a prayer… plus, he has been to the final twice… but… Rob… what a fun selection… De Minaur… that must have been a late Saturday night… lots of crack and a dream perchance to slumber… yeah… I don’t see him walking out of the next round against Blockx… but… I like it anyway… And thank you for listening to me, not Aunt Fran…

I hope you all enjoy Round Two at Roland Garros… I know I am going to…

The Commish!

Well, one year out from my travels to Paris and the viewing of the Terre Battue… Awww… so sad… and as a small reminder, I will be at Wimbledon this year… so, be prepared for that, you know me… not back until the second round of the tournament and I will not be posting until I return back stateside… but, back to our friends out in the fields… Well, let’s talk about one person specifically… Sinner… He has won every major lead-up tournament (Monte Carlo (Alcaraz), Madrid (Zverev), and Rome (Ruud) as his lead up to Roland Garros… The women are a bit all over the shop… Rybakina won Stuttgart over Muchova… Kostyuk knocked off Andreeva in Madrid and Svitolina took out Gauff in Rome… So, the lady game is anyone’s guess… And I can pretty much guarantee that EVERYONE will have Sinner winning this year’s Roland Garros, yes? Say yes in unison… It is always so difficult to get you to agree… So, who is he going to play in the final? And which woman is going to win? I don’t know… neither do you… but, make your picks and see what happens…