And here we are… the 2026 postmordem… sigh… yes… it is over… and I have some news… there was something VERY wrong on that draw (not your fault), the excel continually removed players after they were saved on my computer and it was a bit of a nightmare making me recreate and reupload documents over and over… so, that one is gone… I am working on another one… so, I am sorry, but someone’s points were not correctly added up… and that has a direct effect on women’s draw… Everyone else has been counted, re-counted and checked against the originally sent document to ensure compliance… I received a very quiet email from the east coast claiming fraud and corruption with a demand for immediate delivery of property… ok… it wasn’t anything like that, but that would have been SO much fun!!! So, my apologies to everyone, because it does affect things and I am sorry for the confusion…

IF you live under a rock, let me be the first to tell you that #2 Rybakina took out #1 Sabalenka in more ways than one this fortnight… Rybakina claimed the number one ranking AND downed the reigning champion Sabalenka in 2 hours and 21 minutes, 6-4, 5-7, 6-2… with 36 winners to 24 unforced errors over 32 to 35… it wasn’t bad for the former Russian… raising the trophy for the first time and taking home number one regardless of the result… I think that makes it sweeter… and Sabalenka destroyed a racquet after the match… she already had a warning during the match… I wonder what the fine was on that? and allegedly she told a cameraperson to “fuck off” repeatedly… hahahahaha!!! who would EVER do such a thing? Don’t look at me… DON’T… FUCK OFF!!! That is what really cost her the match, losing your temper and not using it to drive you forward causes all sorts of issues and focus… Sabalenka… I am sorry, but… sashay away…

Now, I have to hold my hair back because the amount of bile which is about to occur is overwhelming… The wifebeater takes home the trophy over #9 Shelton… it was a very big moment for Shelton… and good for him for getting there… He was wasting a lot of energy pumping himself up on points he won rather than focusing that attention on his game… too much toxic masculinity in those larger moments…. in all honesty, Zverev handled those moments very professionally… Granted he looks like a serial killer (dead in the eyes)… but, his composure was clear and calm… much like a psychopath… interesting… well… where are the bodies? four sets and 3 hours and 33 minutes, 6-3, 7-6(2), 5-7, 6-2… and yes James, you won the men’s draw… SO very happy for you… I think it has been years since you climbed that mountain and planted your flag! Everyone clap (slowly, but effectively)… great job!

For you and the end… I am just going to post the updated scores and then I am going to post the end of year tallies… I will also update the tab on the website in case you need to brag to your friends! Again, sorry to Kelly for having the wrong champion listed… Sorry to Eric who had won the women’s draw ONLY to have her crown snatched, the wig may have come with it because like a good pageant queen, lock that shit down… but, congrats to Kelly and James for their wins… I think Eric only wants to beat Rob and Rob only wants to beat Kresimir… so everyone won! YAY!!! Well accept Kresimir and Dan… miserable last…

Women’s Draw

Name	Points
Kelly	240
Eric	225
Rob	219
TIm	197
Denise	183
Dan	172
James P.	170
Kresimir	157

Men’s Draw

Name	Points
James P	179
Denise	164
Tim	157
Eric	150
Kelly	148
Rob	145
Kresimir	141
Dan	108

END OF YEAR MEN’S STANDINGS

Name	A. Open	R. Garros	Wimbledon	US Open	Total
Kresimir	214	131	245	141	731
Denise	219	113	226	164	722
Kelly	232	129	203	148	712
Eric	200	109	196	150	655
Phirman	213	Injury	154	179	546
Kotonias	199	129	186	Injury	514
Dan	173	Injury	194	108	475
Len	193	132	Injury	Injury	325
Rob	Injury	109	Injury	145	254
Peter	209	Injury	Injury	Injury	209
Tim	Injury	Injury	Injury	157	157

END OF YEAR LADY’S STANDINGS

Name	A. Open	R. Garros	Wimbledon	US Open	Total
Kresimir	181	120	219	157	677
Eric	188	114	122	225	649
Kelly	161	115	121	240	635
Denise	161	111	124	183	579
Dan	244	Injury	123	172	539
Phirman	159	Injury	116	170	445
Kotonias	177	107	113	Injury	397
Rob	Injury	115	Injury	219	334
Len	171	112	Injury	Injury	283
Tim	Injury	Injury	Injury	197	197
Peter	155	Injury	Injury	Injury	155

Thank you again everyone for playing… It brings me a lot of joy just seeing other people who enjoy tennis or enjoy just competing against me… Either way, I have a good time… The more you play the better your chances of being at the top of the list.. That shows… Kresimir is holding onto the number one spot by a THREAD!!! EEK!!! better choices next year… Type at you in 2027…

The Commish!

Here we are kids… nearing the end the 2026 season and the US Open 2026… It seems like just yesterday that Alcaraz raised that trophy down under… and here we are… yay us… we made it…

The women’s semifinals went down as follows… in case you live under a rock… Sabalenka latched on to #3 Pegula and thrashed her around like a crocodile taking down it’s prey… OUCH… Not that Pegula played poorly… Sabalenka was out of her mind with some of the shots she was making… Completed the match in 1 hour and 20 minutes… 29 winners for Sabalenka to Pegula’s 12… it felt correct and she should be there to battle the next round… and who is in that round… #4 Gauff of the USA is ousted by Rybakina in three sets, 3-6, 6-4, 6-4… Rybakina went after the forehand until it broke down… Gauff had no answers but to bow out of the tournament… Someone needs to work on that forehand… Coco only won 58% of her first serve points throughout the match and Rybakina was at 76%… it is important to win your first serve chances…

Zverev aka the wife-beater ousted Khachanov of Russia in straight sets… 6-3, 7-6(7), 7-6(6)… oh well… I am always hoping… but he will face Sheton who took out fellow countryman #11 Tiafoe of the USA… it sucked to see anyone lose that match… the amount of respect they have for one another is quite magical… So, we have the first person of black decent in the men’s final since Arthur Ashe back in the 1970s… and Kresimir is one step closer to taking the trophy… I think that Shelton has had the more difficult draw yet, Zverev has had the most struggle in the beginning of the tournament… so… we will see what happens…

For the women… Kresimir loses the tournament… yep… that is what happened… No one has Rybakina to win… so the people with Sabalenka to win are the only ones who have points to gain… If Sabalenka wins… James P will pull himself out of second to last and land in fourth place… Kelly, Rob and Eric have officially secured the top three positions in reverse of what is listed… now you’re confused… The men’s draw… One match will make the difference… Dan you are officially in miserable last for the Men, but you took BIG risks and Auger-Aliassime just wasn’t well during his match… it might have been very different… So, if Zverev wins, James P wins… If Shelton wins, Kresimir wins… the rest of you will fall where you fall… Denise then Tim will fill in the top three spots…

Women’s Draw

Name	Points	Champion	Runner-up
Eric	225	Sabalenka	Gauff
Rob	219	Sabalenka	Gauff
Kelly	210	Sabalenka	Rybakina
Tim	197	Pegula	Rybakina
Denise	183	Gauff	Pegula
Dan	172	Gauff	Pegula
James P.	170	Sabalenka	Anisimova
Kresimir	157	Gauff	Kostyuk

Women’s Draw

Name	Points	Champion	Runner-up
Denise	164	Alcaraz	Zverev
Tim	157	Alcaraz	Zverev
Eric	150	Alcaraz	Zverev
James P.	149	Zverev	Alcaraz
Kelly	148	Alcaraz	Zverev
Rob	145	Alcaraz	Zverev
Kresimir	141	Shelton	Mensik
Dan	108	Auger-Aliassime	Fils

That is the breakdown… very fun tournament… more of a messy mess on the men’s side… the women were pretty solid all around… We will finish strong… learn from the experience and become better people… right, who am I kidding… you psychopaths will be back with a hatred larger than the year before… and we can always grow… happy to add more people… keep it simple and lovely, as you all are…

The Commish!

Well, that was really amazing… particularly the women’s quarterfinals… so much good tennis and some bad, because we all have bad moments… yes, even you Rob… actually, especially you… All four matches went three sets and all over 2 hours and a bit… Sabalenka takes out #6 Noskova of Czechia in a battle 7-6(1), 3-6, 7-6(7)… well played by both players and really came down to points won on the second serve… Sabalenka had 61% on the second and Noskova was at 43%… Pegula ousts fellow American billionaire #26 Navarro 3-6, 6-4, 6-3… Now, here is the beef… yep, get ready… Why does Navarro need more money? She had at least one sponsor sewn on her kit… come on, give that to a charity or let another player get that advertising… I will not purchase or even think about purchasing a product who is using either one of them in a commercial… so, just no… ok, end rant… for now… Gauff takes down #5 Andreeva, again… Coco didn’t come out looking like she had ever held a racquet before… surprising… the score line was 2-6, 7-6(7), 6-2… now while that seem appropriate, wait for it… Andreeva melted down again… Her coach really needs to get into her mind a bit and dig around… We all know we win some, lose some… but every point is a detriment for this young one… I hope she gets better and not losing it when she’s losing it… Coco had 12 double faults and still pulled through… the last match-up was Rybankina who took out the qualifier Zheng of China 3-6, 6-1, 6-4… great showing for Zheng especially after an injury… Rybakina also takes over the #1 player knocking out Sabalenka starting next week…

The boys are still knocking around and two with five setters, one with three and the last with 2.5… Zverev takes down van de Zandschulp of the Nederlands, 6-2, 7-5, 6-1… chances were taken back in the second set… but not enough left in the tank… Khachanov over an ailing #28 Blockx of Belgium… not much to say here… felt like Blockx just went for every shot as hard as possible… most landing out… 6-2, 7=5, 3-2 (ret.)… Tiafoe needed five and down two sets to love to beat Michelsen 5-7, 3-6, 7-5, 6-3, 7-6(6)… what a match… wow… and so much heart played out by both players… Michelsen collapsed into Tiafoe’s arms at the net and sobbed… really amazing to see how much he wanted it… or the love of another man… HEY, it happens… Shelton does the impossible for all of you aside Kresimir… #2 Alcaraz of Spain was knocked out 7-6(5), 6-1, 6-3, 1-6, 7-6(7)… what an incredible match… both players again giving it all… so impressive and ended at 3:33 after four hours and twenty-eight minutes… now on record as the latest match ever played at the US Open… Yes, I see your tears and raise you nothing… absolutely nothing…

Now back to you… As promised, Denise is now in first in the Men’s draw… I see her now grabbing for that bottle and taking a swig… Tim you are in second, for now… (Is NJ going to take the Men’s Draw?) Most all of you have points left with Zverev… Kresimir still has points with Shelton… The question is, who is it going to be? I will say that I had something wrong in most of your draws… most of you had Alcaraz to win… if you see something wrong in what you chose, please let me know… I had three of you listed as having Zverev to win the tournament, and you had Alcaraz (just one Zverev lover in the group – I see you James)… I am working on a new version of the draw for Australia… no rest for the wicked… The women’s draw is still being led by Eric, just back we have Rob… note, that Eric AND Rob have Sabalenka to win… Sabalenka is 0-2 against Gauff in major finals… and she is 1-1 vs Rybakina… so, who knows… I do want to say that all of you with 1, 2, 3, 4 to the final, we are SOOOOO proud of you for taking huge risks… very proud…

Men’s Draw

Name	Points	Champion	Runner-up
Denise	144	Alcaraz	Zverev
Tim	137	Alcaraz	Zverev
Eric	130	Alcaraz	Zverev
James P	129	Zverev	Alcaraz
Kelly	128	Alcaraz	Zverev
Rob	125	Alcaraz	Zverev
Kresimir	121	Shelton	Mensik
Dan	108	Auger-Aliassime	Fils

Women’s Draw

Name	Points	Champion	Runner-up
Eric	205	Sabalenka	Gauff
Rob	199	Sabalenka	Gauff
Denise	183	Gauff	Pegula
Tim	177	Pegula	Rybakina
Dan	172	Gauff	Pegula
Kelly	170	Sabalenka	Rybakina
Kresimir	157	Gauff	Kostyuk
James P	150	Sabalenka	Anisimova

And that is how it all falls down at this point of the tournament… Games begin in about an hour… are you ready? We will have the finalists in the Women’s draw and the Men happen tomorrow… Can you believe it… wow… I think this one happened a bit faster than normal… but, Old age is no place for sissies… (points if you know THAT reference)… Good luck…

The Commish!

Well, welcome to the fourth round… still lots of tennis to come and hopefully more wild and crazy stuff… although, I don’t know if my heart can take it… This shit is WILD!!! ok… Zverev didn’t need too much time (2 hours and 31 minutes) to knock out #21 Darderi of Italy… well… sometimes you get your wishes and other times… no… he is going to take on van de Zandschup who needed five sets to take out the Lucky Loser, Gea of France… nice match… Khachanov needed five sets also to take out #14 Tien of the US… it was tough to watch… I really like Tien… he has a good heart and obviously an issue when the match was over… He fought and the other player just was better… you will live to slay another day Learner… just keep on learning… Dad? Blockx ousts #24 Cerundolo of Argentina… well… that will make the next match interesting… It didn’t look good for him going into the fourth set… much less being able to compete at 3 to 5 more sets… good luck… Tiafoe over #7 Medvedev in straight sets… Michelsen will be the player for Tiafoe as he knocked out #27 Etcheverry of Argentina… well, this is getting spicy… Shelton dispatched Tsitsipas of Greece in less than 2 hours… Alcaraz needed 2 hours and 21 minutes to take out #20 Paul of the USA… and that is how it went down in round four…

Ladies? Let me see how you are doing… Sabalenka got it done in an hour and fifteen minutes over Townsend of the USA… Noskova took down #11 Kostyuk of the Ukraine… three sets and 2 and a half hours… good match for the most part… a lot of broken games and one broken heart… Pegula over #16 Cirstea of Romania… Let’s see if she shows up next year… she planned to retire after this season… but, she is ranked 16… that doesn’t suck and this has been such a consistent year for her… bank for that retirement… or ask for money from one of the billionaires… speaking of… Navarro bests #21 Kalinskaya of Russia… Andreeva takes out #24 Potapova in 2 hours and 27 minutes… it was a match where Andreeva started to melt down and then pulled it back together… maybe you can find maturity where there is none… Gauff takes out Jovic in straight sets… I think that Eala match took the wind out of Jovic’s sails… and that is ok… good win… honest loss… #8 Swiatek of Poland takes a loss to Zheng who qualified for the tournament… nicely done… 2 hour match… but, a win is a win… I went to play some tennis when Swiatek was up 5-3 and then came back and poof Zheng was serving for the match… Rybakina rounds out the winners of round four with a straight set victory over #13 Osaka of Japan… There is an obvious injury to her achilles tendon… I hope it isn’t too bad…

For you lovely people… have I told you lately that I love you… well, good… that’s because I don’t… you are all CRUSHING it… although Dan and James are making it difficult for Kresimir to lose… sheesh… thank you… Lady Draw… Eric is still in the lead over Rob… yep… as promised… Denise is in a good position in third… James, you are in miserable last for the Lady’s draw… eeek… For the men’s draw… Well Tim (even though I had to BEG you to compete), you are officially in first place in the Men’s Draw… Do you have enough to keep Denise at bay? I do see that she has a Semifinalist you don’t… and I believe that person may have won… so… That may catapult her over you… and Eric is in pursuit… Dan, you have done such an amazing job, but no finalists and only Zverev points left for the most part… sigh… you currently have miserable last for the men’s draw…

Men’s Draw

Name	Points	Top Half	Bottom Half
Tim	127	Zverev	Alcaraz
Denise	124	Zverev	Tiafoe / Alcaraz
Eric	120	Zverev	Alcaraz
James P	119	Zverev	Alcaraz
Kelly	118	Zverev	Alcaraz
Rob	115	Zverev	Alcaraz
Kresimir	111	N/A	Shelton
Dan	98	Zverev	N/A

These are all the points you have left to gain… IF Shelton wins and anyone BUT Zverev makes it to the final – Kresimir will win!!! YAY!!! other than that… I don’t know… too many moving parts… but, I do see that Denise is likely to take over the lead in this draw… well, that is what my crystal balls say… I mean ball… just one… no… don’t…

Women’s Draw

Name	Points	Top Half	Bottom Half
Eric	165	Sabalenka / Pegula	Gauff / Rybakina
Rob	159	Sabalenka / Pegula	Gauff / Rybakina
Denise	143	Sabalenka / Pegula	Gauff / Rybakina
Dan	142	Sabalenka / Pegula	Gauff
Kelly	140	Sabalenka	Gauff / Rybakina
Kresimir	137	Pegula	Gauff
Tim	137	Sabalenka / Pegula	Gauff / Rybakina
James P	130	Sabalenka / Pegula	N/A

Just in case you didn’t catch it… bold underline = winner;bold = runner-up; regular script = semifinalist…

Welcome to the concrete jungle, We take it day by day, If you want it, you’re gonna bleed, But that’s the price you pay… sing it with me… no… fine… back to the tennis people… go Shelton… go everyone else who can possibly win… go go go…

The Commish!

Well, here we are… at the brink of “week two” at the US Open… We are at the round of sixteen.. How delightful… and how did that happen… oh right, no rain delays… No major hurricanes in the south… kind of boring, really… I am not happy without a moment of a trailer park going up into a cyclone of some kind… you know… they don’t just recycle cans, they recycle dreams…

Now the tennis has been interesting… women are now clashing with the seeds and it is getting CRAZY out there… and the boys are meeting a seed or a person who beat a seed… or they beat someone who beat a seed… you understand… and if you don’t, sheesh… what a delight you are… Let’s start with the Men… because, just get it out of the way…

Zverev finally gets a game he can handle straight through against #25 Tabilo of Chile… eh, he has a better clay court game… but, not a bad run at the US Open for Mr. Sea Bass… Darderi made quick work of Sweeny of Australia in straight sets… Gea, who replaced Ruud ousted a very competitive and allegedly smart Zheng of the USA… Zheng played at Columbia… yes, I saw those eyebrows raise… Tommy Paul could NEVER… he was too busy trying to get his truck out of repo… van de Zandschulp is a winner over #31 Bergs of Belgium… five sets… looked like a good match up to me… both players really working hard for each point in four and a half hours… Khachanov over Bonzi of France in straight sets… Tien ousts #17 Mensik in a five set 3 hour and 24 minute match… I am sure no one was disappointed in that match other than the man from Czechia… Cerundolo takes out #9 Fritz of the USA… I did see an article in which the American stated he needed to serve better to have won the match… Really Einstein? you think? You served at 53% first serve in and that is your reflection on the match… great job… I am sure that took a lot of maths to work out… bye felicia… yeah, you don’t even get a capitol “F” for that… Blockx takes out the Italian #5 Cobolli in four sets… eeek… I know that Blockx has some talent… I thought he would break out at Roland Garros… but no, he has to delay his growth for the US Open… Merde… Medvedev… who are YOU… I thought you were going to go and play some pickleball for awhile… join up with Jack Sock and have a party… which is a deep dig at pickleball and that culture… Medvedev doesn’t know when to stop… but straight sets over #26 Rinderknech of France… and speaking of cousins… #22 Vacherot of Monte Carlo is out to Tiafoe in straight sets… Michelsen over Merida of Spain… Etcheverry over Navone of Argentina… they are both from Argentina… remember that Navone beat both Djokovic and Berrettini… Shelton in four over Shapovalov of Canada… Tsitsipas has a resurgence and takes down #18 Lehecka of Czechia… to me this is the biggest surprise… he has been down and out… I think I am going to definitely watch this match with Shelton… I haven’t seen Tsitsipas successful in a bit… so, buckle up… #15 Bublik of Kazakhstan aka Russia loses to Paul… he has his truck back and does a comeback of 1 set to 2 and wins in 5… Alcaraz… still here… his win over Wu of China was impressive… I don’t think that Alcaraz is at 100%, but it doesn’t seem to matter… He can take 10 – 15 miles off his strikes and still win with ease… <shrug shoulders emoji>

The ladies… oh, so many great matches and match-ups… and more to come… Sabalenka ousts Rakhimova of Uzbekistan aka Russia in straight sets… Do you see a theme here? They are all abandoning Mother Russia and the Tsarina (#$(&)… Seriously… Potapova to Austria… Kasatkina to Australia… the others to Kazakhstan… It doesn’t take a brain surgeon, right Fritz? Idiots… Townsend downs the warmonger (#15 Shnaider)… tee-hee-hee… Kostyuk over #18 Alexandrova in straight sets… Noskova needed three to get past #29 Li of the US… Pegula also needed three to get past the feisty #31 Fernandez… she is so intense… Cirstea over #19 Paolini of Italy… Kalinskaya over #9 Svitolina in three… eek… there goes a bracket or, well all of them… kidding, a couple of you had the Russian through here… but no one had Navarro over #7 Muchova of Czechia… Muchova seems to be a commentator favorite to watch play… Andreeva over Bartunkova of Czechia in straight sets… Potapova over #10 Anisimova and last year’s runner-up… it was a bit tight at the end but the new Austrian took out the American in two sets… Match of the day goes to Jovic ousting #17 Eala of the Philippines… now, there is a LOT of controversy surrounding the fans of Eala… They are screaming out at times that are not usually allowed… in between first and second serves… I am sure you all know that I am a big fan of following etiquette… yes… Eric & Rob are likely the most familiar… lucky them… but, just see what other people are doing, and mimic that… it isn’t too difficult… really, it isn’t… this isn’t football or baseball… it is tennis… the match was fantastic… neither one giving an inch to the other… Gauff ousts Busca of Spain in two… Swiatek needed two tiebreakers to get #25 Bouzkova of Czechia out of the tournament… Zheng takes out #22 Keys of the United States… this was gutsy… and took a lot of energy… down 2-5 in the third and rang off 5 games in a row to take the third 7-5… Osaka, through pain and torment, takes down #23 Mertens of Belgium… twenty minutes shy of three hours… but… a win for Osaka… the person not the City… please… Rybaknia takes out Stardubtseva in straight sets… I thought the Ukrainian player was going to pull that first set out… but no, it wasn’t to be… too many little errors and home she goes…

For YOU… things are heating up… the men’s draw is basically a mess… but… while Kelly is still leading, Tim is right there… Eric & James P have also entered the competition… Denise is hanging on by a thread… and Kresimir and Dan haven’t even crossed the 100 point threshold… Don’t even say we deserve it… I hear the cackling… Eric has pulled out in front of the women’s draw and although Rob is second, Dan is closing in… Eric had 13 of the 16 correct… that is pretty impressive… tips hat in your general direction…

Men’s Draw

(Bold underline – Champ; Bold – Runner-up; Italicized Semifinalist; nothing – quarterfinalist)

Name	Points	Quarterfinalists Left
Kelly	108	Alcaraz / Zverev / Medvedev
Tim	107	Zverev / Alcaraz / Tien / Tiafoe / Shelton
Eric	105	Alcaraz / Zverev / Tiafoe / Paul
Denise	104	Alcaraz / Zverev / Tiafoe / Shelton
James P	104	Zverev / Alcaraz / Medvedev / Shelton
Rob	100	Zverev / Alcaraz / Medvedev / Shelton
Kresimir	96	Shelton / Zverev / Tiafoe / Paul
Dan	88	Zverev / Shelton

Women’s Draw

(Bold underline – Champ; Bold – Runner-up; Italicized Semifinalist; regular script – quarterfinalist)

Name	Points	Quarterfinalists Left
Eric	135	Sabalenka / Gauff / Pegula / Rybakina / Noskova / Andreeva / Swiatek
Rob	129	Sabalenka / Gauff / Pegula / Rybakina / Noskova / Andreeva / Swiatek
Dan	122	Gauff / Pegula / Sabalenka / Swiatek / Kostyuk / Rybakina
James P	120	Sabalenka / Pegula / Osaka / Kostyuk
Kelly	120	Sabalenka / Gauff / Pegula / Rybakina / Noskova / Andreeva / Swiatek
Tim	117	Pegula / Rybakina/ Gauff / Kostyuk / Swiatek
Kresimir	117	Gauff / Kostyuk / Pegula / Swiatek / Sabalenka/ Andreeva / Osaka
Denise	113	Gauff / Pegula / Sabalenka / Rybakina / Noskova / Andreeva / Swiatek

I hope that makes sense… and helps you understand where you are and where you are going… as well as the others… In the women’s draw… it would appear that Rob & Eric have all the same picks through the rest of the tournament… So Rob, you cannot beat Eric #sorrynotsorry… and almost anyone can beat you if the picks go right… so, maybe you will be miserable last… <another shoulder shrug emoji)… I don’t have the bandwidth to figure out the men’s draw… too many variables… and it is looking like Kresimir and Dan are going to hold hands at the bottom while the darkness closes in… but… If Shelton pulls this out… Kresimir could rise up… and no, I am not going to take you with me… That is about the size of it… Enjoy the round of 16 in each draw…

The Commish!

Clearly we are going for poetry this US Open… This has been something… The women’s draw seems to be settling down a bit and the men’s is just thrashing about… On the women’s draw only one seed went out in the second round… #32 Sakkari of Greece who lost 1-6, 7-6(4), 6-2 to Starodubtseva… I know… where is the shocked face emoji when you need it… color me impressed… but, you know that this next round is the seeds starting to clash… so, that means good matches with solid and well tested opponents… The men… not so pretty and neither were the selections… well, for some of us… others, well… congrats to YOU… But we need to talk about boys for a minute… and I think we can ALL get behind that, or in front… it is fine… oh wait… Tim… close your eyes… think of something nice… ice cream… chocolate chip cookies… a bag of doritos… ok, I don’t know what you like specifically – but think of that…

I will say that Zverev has had a time of it… two five set matches in the first two rounds… Sweeny takes out #13 Musetti… now there was a commentator who said something about, “the heat got to your little Mussolini” – probably a bit of an issue, although I cannot verify it with any sources… anyway… weird… #6 De Minaur of Australia is out in straight sets to van de Zandschulp… #3 Auger-Aliassime of Canada is bing bang bong, out of the tournament to Khachanov… see a dangerous floater is a dangerous floater… although it seemed that Felix wasn’t 100%… Bonzi over #32 Buse of Peru in three sets… Michelsen takes out the hard court consistent player #16 Nakashima of the USA… it was pretty straightforward and it didn’t look like Nakashima could get any traction in the match… #23 Rublev is ousted by Merida in four sets… sigh… I know, it feels a lot worse and it shows up quite effectively in the results… see below…

For you… we have a new leader of the Men’s draw… Ms. Kelly Carlon… nicely done… although your evil sister is just behind you… waiting for you to stumble… and stumble you might… unless all the cards you hold last until the end.. Fine, Denise is not evil… that was used for dramatic effect and I cannot believe you are all calling me out on it… sheesh… no liberties with THIS group… Dan however, has gone from the top to the bottom… Rob has single handedly broke through and is holding on to the women’s draw… by a narrow margin… because Eric is breathing down his neck.. and that is a pretty good image… probably exactly what it looks like…

Men’s Draw (bold underline – champ; bold – runner-up; italicized – semifinal; crossed out – OUT)

Name	Points	Top Half	Bottom Half
Kelly	90	Zverev / Auger-Aliassime	Djokovic / Alcaraz /
Denise	86	Zverev / Cobolli	Tiafoe / Alcaraz
Tim	83	Zverev / Fritz	Djokovic / Alcaraz /
Eric	81	Zverev / Auger-Aliassime	Alcaraz / Medvedev
James P	80	Zverev / Fritz	Alcaraz / Nakashima
Rob	79	Zverev / Fritz	Alcaraz / Medvedev
Kresimir	78	Jodar / Mensik	Nakashima / Shelton
Dan	73	Zverev / Auger-Alissime	Nasashima / Fils

Women’s Draw (bold underline – champ; bold – runner-up; italicized – semifinal; crossed out – OUT)

Name	Points	Top Half	Bottom Half
Rob	99	Sabalenka / Pegula	Gauff / Rybakina
Eric	96	Sabalenka / Pegula	Gauff / Rybakina
James P	93	Sabalenka / Pegula	Anisimova / Osaka
Kresimir	93	Kostyuk / Pegula	Gauff / Swiatek
Kelly	93	Sabalenka / Svitolina	Gauff / Rybakina
Denise	92	Sabalenka / Pegula	Gauff / Rybakina
Dan	89	Sabalenka / Pegula	Gauff / Swiatek
Tim	87	Sabalenka / Pegula	Gauff / Rybakina

OOOOHHHH This is going to be fun… Start sweating… because every match is going to be your last.. HAHAHAHAHAHA! Have an amazing start to your LONG weekend… Lots of heart emojis in your general direction…

The Commish!

I am going to be forward and honest… I HATE this three day first round bullshittery… Now, I know that isn’t a word, but it is now… so, deal with it… GOOD LORD, it has been too long… and yet, not long enough… How are you doing? (My best Wendy Williams voice while speaking into the proverbial void)… It has been some very odd tennis, no? Just me… I think it has been odd… some upsets, whether you count them or not… just wild… Anyway… Thank you again for joining… Let’s get into it…

Seeds who have fallen in the Women’s Draw… Right off the bat we had a very uninspired Czech player, #27 Krejcikova who takes a loss to Rakhimova… Townsend over #20 Chwalinska of Poland… to this little one’s credit, she is better on clay and showed that by reaching the final at Roland Garros…#30 Ostapenko from Latvia is out with a big loss to Maria… #28 Bejlek of Czechia out to Busca… #12 Bencic of Switzerland is ousted by Putintseva…. Now, why that doesn’t seem like a lot… These all played a small roll in the standings… Then Men’s Draw… that shit is MESSY!!!

Let’s start with a doozy… #12 Jodar of Spain took a straight set lost to Bu… granted, if it had been a long match yes… understood… but it was 2, 1 & 1… that is not good for Spain… not good at all… Ruud was out of the tournament before it started as was Cilic… so, if you had Ruud, you got the win from Gea… so, lucky you… #4 Asshat aka. Djokovic is out of the tournament… This is the first time he lost in the first round.. now, you ALL know I am not a fan… not even close; however, I don’t think it is anyone’s option to scream for his retirement… He is a good player, just an asshat of a human… He takes a loss to Navone.. and good for him… known as a better clay court player… but, a win is a win… #29 Norrie from Great Britain is out to Van Assche… whoopsie doodle… #10 Fils of France, who just won Cincinatti loses in the first round… Last one is Duckworth who takes out #30 Arnaldi of Italy… well… another one bites the dust…

Now, for you losers… and winners… Kresimir is beating all of you… yet again… and it is also April 1… so… nice try we aren’t falling for that… Dan is leading the Men’s Draw and James and Rob are leading the Lady’s draw… that is a nice change, unless you are Kresimir who is bitterly crying in a corner… Nicely done… no one is SO far ahead and I am actually pretty proud that most everyone is out of the 30s in round one… So, let’s get to some numbers…

Women’s Draw

Name	Points	Champion	Runner-up
James P.	45	Sabalenka	Anisimova
Rob	45	Sabalenka	Gauff
Eric	44	Sabalenka	Gauff
Dan	43	Gauff	Pegula
Kresimir	43	Gauff	Kostyuk
Kelly	41	Sabalenka	Rybakina
Denise	40	Gauff	Pegula
Tim	39	Pegula	Rybakina

Men’s Draw

Name	Points	Champion	Runner-up
Dan	47	Auger-Aliassime	Fils
Denise	44	Alcaraz	Zverev
Kelly	44	Alcaraz	Zverev
Tim	44	Zverev	Alcaraz
Kresimir	44	Shelton	Mensik
Eric	43	Alcaraz	Zverev
James P	42	Zverev	Alcaraz
Rob	39	Zverev	Alcaraz

Wow… I do see a LOT of the same… and Fils is out, sorry Dan… but, if it makes you feel any better, Kresimir has lost two of four semifinalists now… so… OH WELL… Kresimir Fucking won Wimbledon… so THERE…. But seriously… very interesting picks… I personally would be surprised if Alcaraz and Zverev make it to the final… I believe this is going to be a similar situation with a new winner for the Men… The women… I still believe in what I believe… and only time will tell… I hope you are enjoying the tennis and I will type at you very soon! Well, when round two completes… that seems about right…

The Commish!

Welcome to the big apple and what has transpired on the lead up hard-court tournaments, in case you didn’t watch… First up, bad news… Sinner is OUT… he pulled out of the US Open due to a knee injury.  Allegedly he is cleared to go on September 5, 2026; however, the games have already begun on the 30^th, so NO SINNER FOR YOU… Well, you are all sinners… deal with it… At the Washington DC tournament earlier, Eala took out Pegula in the final and Fritz topped Jodar… no, mind out of the gutter… Fritz wouldn’t… I don’t know about Jodar… in Los Cabos, Mexico, Gea of France outlasts Shapavalov… Memphis saw Liutova (qualifier) beats Vidmanova – I heard you all say who… and I reply, exactly… Oh Canada… Toronto had Swiatek take out Rybakina in the final and Montreal saw Shelton defend the title over fellow American Nakashima… Cincinnati had a beautiful all POC finals with Gauff beating Pegula and Fils over Tiafoe… Right now they are battling in Winston-Salem and Monterrey, Mexico.  OOOHHHH it is going to be confusing… so many possibilities with the return of Alcaraz and Sabalenka and Rybakina without a trophy in a beat… Sabalenka has a lot of points to defend here as the previous champion… will she hold up the trophy at the end of the fortnight, or will it be someone else… both draws are electric… boogie, woogie, woogie…