2023

You wanna see a bird cemetery? Go under a windmill sometime…

SEPTEMBER 11, 2023“YOU WANNA SEE A BIRD CEMETERY? GO UNDER A WINDMILL SOMETIME…”

So we have come to a close… and yes… yes… the psychopath won… do we HAVE to discuss it… I am still a bit nauseous… someone get me a soda water… thank you…

Djokovic does win the US Open defeating #3 Medvedev 6-3, 7-6(5), 6-3… here is a picture of the stadium…

He is now at 24 majors… and now we wait for someone to catch up… lord this is going to take a long time… Alcaraz in four years maybe? Swiatek, Gauff, anyone… Bueller… Bueller… no one… yet…

The MORE important match was Gauff taking a victory lap over #2 Sabalenka 2-6, 6-3, 6-2… Sabalenka does get to number 1 in the world… so that is her consolation prize… and not a bad one honestly… She made the semifinals or better in all four majors this year… that is quite the accomplishment! But this was Coco’s day… and her match… She was overwhelmed by the power of Sabalenka in the first set… but she settled in and controlled the points from the middle of the second set… a Very enjoyable match… and very happy for Miss Coco…

Dabrowski (Canada) and Routliffe (Australia) lift the women’s doubles trophy with their victory over Siegmund and Zvonareva 7-6(9), 6-3…

De Groot wins her 6th US open in wheelchair singles… in a row… in double 6-2s over Kamiji of Japan

Hewett takes a win over Reid for a US Open trophy and taking that back to the UK 6-4, 6-3…

De Groot’s partner Griffioen suffered an injury and they had to retire so Kamiji and Montjane take home the women’s wheelchair doubles trophy…

Men’s Wheelchair Doubles have a new winner with Houdet and Sanada over Miki and Oda of Japan… 6-4, 6-4…

Schroder over Vink (both of the Nederlands) 6-3, 7-4 in men’s quad wheelchair singles… and together they took home the doubles over Lapthorne and Ramphadi 6-1, 6-2…

A Brit takes home the boy’s wheelchair singles trophy Ward of the UK over Fellici of Italy 6-4, 6-3… Boy’s wheelchair doubles was also won by Ward and Johns of the UK over the Americans Cooper and Majetic 6-0 (BAGEL), 6-3…

In the girl’s wheelchair singles match Chasteau of France over the American Phelps 6-3, 6-1 and she doubles down with a win with Phelps to take the doubles trophy 7-5, 6-0 (BAGEL)…

Hui of the USA wins the girls singles trophy over Valentova of the Czech Repubic in double 6-4s and the duo of Gae and Guerva oust the Japanese pair of Saito and Sato 1-6, 7-5, 10-8…

Boy’s singles was won by Fonseca of Brazil over the American Tien, 4-6, 6-4, 6-3… doubles winners were Dahlin and Ojakaar over Bondioli and Schwaerzler 3-6, 6-3, 11-9…

blah blah blah.. all you want to hear is that Kresimir did not win either of the draws… Len is victorious in the Men’s Draw and Rob sneaks in, like the sneaky little Brit that he is, and takes the Women’s Draw… so, if you see him on the street, trip him… Final scores are below… Congrats to both Len and Rob for making the correct choice of the winner…

Women’s Draw

Name	Points
Rob	206
Eric	199
Kresimir	195
Len	192
Dan	144
Peter	140
James	131
Tai	104

Men’s Draw

Name	Points
Len	214
Kresimir	213
Tai	204
Peter	199
James	183
Rob	179
Eric	168
Dan	153

And that is how it ends… I will update the final scoring of the year… Congrats to all the winners this year… and well let’s congratulate all the participants!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you… I will be down under for the first week in 2024… looking forward to seeing something special… oi, oi, oi!

The Commish!

Our air right now is cleaner than it has ever been for our citizens..

SEPTEMBER 9, 2023 “OUR AIR RIGHT NOW IS CLEANER THAN IT HAS EVER BEEN FOR OUR CITIZENS..”

As all of this was playing out… I thought… ok, this makes sense… I had some hope, but most of that was thrown down the toilet… we are currently at 2 hours and counting down to the final for the Women and a bit more than a day away from seeing who is going to win on the men’s side of the draw… Predictions are not what all of you thought…

Djokovic needed just under 3 hours to devour Shelton of the USA 6-3, 6-2, 7-6(4) – when Shelton got back on serve in the third set, I was like… ok… here we go… oh no… that wasn’t good… and buh-bye… and #1 Alcaraz was a bit stunned by Medvedev in a four set victory 7-6(3), 6-1, 3-6, 6-3… I think if Alcaraz had played a bit less show and a bit more straight-up tennis, that first set would have been his… some really bad choices… but that is what youth is for… and he will be back… I promise ;)…

Gauff ousts #10 Muchova 6-4, 7-5… it was a very nice match… there were some great shots and points… but the Czech player didn’t have enough to get past Gauff… They met with a similar score in their meeting at the Western & Southern Open three weeks prior with one break in each set… and that leads us to #17 Keys v. Sabalenka… this was a very confusing match… the first set went by like lightening… and you could see that Keys was just as stunned as the crowd and Sabalenka with a 6-0 (BAGEL) for Keys in the first set… Sabalenka was a little baby throwing her racket and banging it on the towel containers… throwing a racket up against the wall at her team… seriously, no warning? no violation? really childish behavior… I don’t care if she is from Belorussia… grow the fuck up… it is infantile behavior and someone should take you over their knee for things like that!!! Sabalenka ended up winning the match 7-6(1), 7-6(5) after that episode… she better come out with a better attitude… and I hope that the chair umpire isn’t going to put up with childish shenanigans… it shouldn’t be tolerated…

We also have two winners as of right now… Ram and Salisbury of the US and UK respectively take home the Men’s doubles trophy with a 2-6, 6-3, 6-4 over Bopana and Ebden of India and Australia…

Mixed Doubles was won by Danilina and Heliovaara of Kazakhstan and Finland respectively over Pegula and Krajicek of the USA 6-3, 6-4… congrats to them… Aggressive was the key to the matches… they hadn’t ever played together and just happened to run into each other at the sign in, both looking for a partner and said, ok… let’s go… and a trophy with $170,000.00 between the both of them later… not a bad day at the office…

All that being said… Len has officially won the Men’s draw… He has Djokovic to win and there are no other options… so, sorry about it… Congrats to Mr. Len… I think it has been a minute for him on top with a trophy! Nicely done sir! Kresimir is currently heading the women’s draw… but it depends on the winner of the match… Gauff wins… Rob wins… Sabalenka wins… Kresimir wins… second will be between Len with Sabalenka and Eric will eek out 4 points over Kresimir with a Gauff victory… so… here we go…

Name	Points	Champion
Len	184	Djokovic
James	183	Alcaraz
Kresimir	182	Djokovic
Rob	179	Alcaraz
Tai	174	Djokovic
Peter	169	Djokovic
Eric	168	Alcaraz
Dan	153	Alcaraz

It is worth mentioning that Tai will move into third and Peter into fourth with a Djokovic victory… and the rest of you suckers will be well, much further behind… #sorrynotsorry

Name	Points	Champion
Kresimir	195	Sabalenka
Len	192	Sabalenka
Rob	176	Gauff
Eric	169	Gauff
Dan	144	Swiatek
Peter	140	Swiatek
James	131	Pegula
Tai	104	Swiatek

Sadly, Tai and Dan have been officially marked as the miserable last positions of the Men’s and Women’s draws as they are assigned to their specific genders… Dan get a mai tai and Tai… snuggle that baby… we all have something that brings us joy… right?

Here we go… 1 hour and 45 minutes until the players take to the Court… I can hear you all screaming… Let’s see if the Americans can push Coco over the top to become the champion or if the villian Natasha I mean Sabalenka can claim her second grand slam trophy…Stay tuned…

The Commish!

If you’re not a tree hugger, then you’re a tree hater?

SEPTEMBER 7, 2023 “IF YOU’RE NOT A TREE HUGGER, THEN YOU’RE A TREE HATER?”

Well, we are almost over the finish line… Did you see anything crazy exciting? I thought it was interesting to see the scores of the women’s matches… It was like little ducks in a row… all of them were two setters and the two top ones had a first set bagel and a little resistance… and the bottom half had the same exact score line… I love weird little things like that… and I like to share them with you…

#20 Ostapenko went DOWN… I mean… well… you know… sex workers and church… I didn’t see her complain much about the calls because they were all REALLY in or REALLY out… kind of shut down her staring at her camp… She did say when she was down 2-0 in the second set “This is over” to her people… and yes, yes it was… Gauff stomped out the Latvian 6-0 (BAGEL), 6-2… BAM! Muchova needed one extra game in her match win over #30 Cirstea 6-0 (BAGEL), 6-3… and the Romanian is ousted… Keys gave a breadstick 6-1, and 6-4 in the second to take out #9 Vondrousova of the Czech Republic… and to match that score Sabalenka takes out #23 Zhang of China… now I am hungry…

Alcaraz starts off with a three set victory over #12 Zverev 6-3, 6-2, 6-1… Medvedev over #8 Rublev 6-4, 6-3, 6-4… well, I didn’t see it going any other way… it always feels like Rublev meets Medvedev in the quarters and that is as far as he will ever go… poor guy… great player, just needs to get a different strategy… Shelton takes out #10 Tiafoe in four sets… 6-2, 3-6, 7-6(7), 6-2… I didn’t see the match, but I am sure Tiafoe had a big smile for Shelton at the end of the match… that’s the kind of person he is… happy to be making tennis his work… Shockingly even after all the smack talk by #9 Fritz he is blasted out of the tournament by Djokovic 6-1, 6-4, 6-4…

Len has taken over the lead in the men’s draw… James only had 2 of the three correctly selected to the final and Len had three… well, most of you had three of the four… so, good on you… and yes, it is true… Kresimir is the only person who selected three of the four semifinalists and he takes over the lead on the Women’s Draw… Now it comes down to the final… Tai… you are miserable last in the women’s draw… you have no more points (BUT YOU HAVE A NEW BEAUTIFUL BABY TO HOLD AND LOVE ON) – Congrats to both Tai and Allan (see, fuck you all… I can be nice… sometimes…) Dan, you are currently in last place in the men’s draw… but, there is always the final… everyone has the same finalists BUT the winner is different… Several of you have Gauff/Sabalenka to the final… but who is going to win? This is the first time in a LONG time that both draws will come down to the final… eek! How exciting!!!

Women’s Draw

Name	Points	Champion	Runner-up
Kresimir	155	Sabalenka	Gauff
Len	152	Sabalenka	Gauff
Dan	144	No One	No One
Rob	136	Gauff	Sabalenka
James	131	No One	No One
Eric	129	Gauff	Sabalenka
Peter	120	No One	Sabalenka
Tai	104	No One	No One

Men’s Draw

Name	Points	Champion	Runner-up
Len	164	Djokovic	Alcaraz
James	163	Alcaraz	Djokovic
Kresimir	162	Djokovic	Alcaraz
Rob	159	Alcaraz	Djokovic
Tai	154	Djokovic	Alcaraz
Peter	149	Djokovic	Alcaraz
Eric	148	Alcaraz	Djokovic
Dan	133	Alcaraz	Djokovic

As you can see, it is a TIGHT race to the final… for them, and for us… I hope you have been enjoying the tennis… 1 hour and counting down for Gauff… although I do like Muchova… and then Keys v. Sabalenka… my prediction… Gauff over Muchova in three sets… Keys over Sabalenka in 2 sets… you know, it is fun to make a prediction… Alcaraz over Medvedev in three… Djokovic over Shelton in four…

The Commish!

If a tree falls in the woods, and there’s no one there to hear it, how will the environmentalists react?

SEPTEMBER 6, 2023“IF A TREE FALLS IN THE WOODS, AND THERE’S NO ONE THERE TO HEAR IT, HOW WILL THE ENVIRONMENTALISTS REACT?”

And here we are… we are in the thick of it and it is getting a bit sticky… How do you feel? I am guessing not too good…most of you are just not living up to the expectations you have for yourself, nor the ones I had for you… sad honestly… very sad… but, someone will forgive you… maybe… and well just like our players on the court… there is a lot of disappointment… a lot… ready for it… I am sure you figured this out… but Ostapenko took down the #1 Swiatek in three sets (that doesn’t help a LOT of brackets) 3-6, 6-3, 6-1… I will say that Ostapenko took her to town in those second two sets… the way she played is the reason that she does have a grand slam trophy in her case… With this loss she also loses the number one position and Sabalenka takes it over, regardless of where she finishes… Gauff took down Woziniacki of Denmark 6-3, 3-6, 6-1… we will no longer be gazin g upon the technicolor catsuit… Good for Caroline, she is another mother trying to make a come back… and yes, yes she can… Cirstea takes another step forward in her win over #15 Bencic of Switzerland and backs up her win over Rybakina with a 6-3 squared finish… Muchova took 2.5 hours in her win over Wang of China… quite the fight from the Chinese woman and a 6-3, 5-7, 6-1 win for Muchova… Vondrousova ousts Stearns of the United States 6-7(3), 6-3, 6-2 and she is out… Keys plays lightening tennis and ousts #3 Pegula 6-1, 6-3… I don’t think Pegula even was present for the match… everything seemed to happen so fast and then all of a sudden she is in the locker room going… I’m already done… ok… all doubles for me… Zheng was a warrior and fought past #5 Jabeur 6-2, 6-4… The Tunisian has been fighting a respiratory illness since the tournament started… so, I am not shocked by her departure… but, her spirit and smile make tennis so much better… Sabalenka rounds out our winners with a beat down of #13 Kasatkina 6-1, 6-3… it was over quickly… not as quick as Pegula… but, just as harmless although VERY warm and sticky out there…

Oh the boys… Alcaraz over Arnaldi of Italy was in and out 6-3, 6-3, 6-4… tiny little guy who looks very fragile… but, he can hit the ball… Zverev had a fight in his win over #6 Sinner… yes, I wanted a Sinner/Alcaraz quarterfinal.. but Sinner was experiencing some cramping and his team needs to get that under control… that is a sign of some poor conditioning… just saying… 6-4, 3-6, 6-2, 4-6, 6-3… and the wife beater moves on… Medvedev takes out #13 de Minaur of Australia in four… 2-6, 6-4, 6-1, 6-2… Rublev ousts the last Brit standing in Draper 6-3, 3-6, 6-3, 6-4… Draper didn’t have anything left in the tank and Rublev was ready to stay out there until he died… Tiafoe over Hijikata of Australia… another one with not a lot left for him… 6-4, 6-1, 6-4… Tiafoe almost let him back in the third set… but was able to stave him off for the win… Shelton takes out American #14 Paul in four sets 6-4, 6-3, 4-6, 6-4… Tommy took a win over Alcaraz recently… I honestly thought that would have given him enough… but… meh… bye! Handsome and stupid… literally… Fritz over Stricker of Switzerland 7-6(2), 6-4, 6-4 and he will play Djokovic who took out Gojo of Croatia 6-2, 7-5, 6-4… the tall Croat just didn’t have any power in him… well… Maybe Fritz can do something… probably not… well… if you know… you know…

Well, things have taken a baby turn for you… James selects 7 of the 8 quarterfinalists! VERY impressive… he had Paul to the quarter, but got all the others… nicely done sir! Len is leading in the women’s draw by a point… but James, you don’t have any finalists left… so, you are down a point now… let’s see what happens… you need Gauff to lose, Sabalenka and Vondrousova… that is a lot of hope… but, one of those isn’t true… so… which of these things is not like the other…

Women’s Draw

Name	Points	Semifinalists
Len	132	Gauff/Sabalenka
James	131	No One
Kresimir	125	Gauff/Muchova/Sabalenka
Dan	124	Muchova/Sabalenka
Rob	116	Gauff/Sabalenka/Vondrousova
Peter	110	Sabalenka
Eric	109	Gauff/Sabalenka
Tai	104	No One

Men’s Draw

Name	Points	Semifinalists
James	143	Alcaraz/Rublev/Djokovic
Len	134	Alcaraz/Medvedev/Tiafoe/Djokovic
Kresimir	132	Alcaraz/Medvedev/Djokovic
Rob	129	Alcaraz/Medvedev/Djokovic
Tai	124	Alcaraz/Medvedev/Tiafoe/Djokovic
Peter	119	Alcaraz/Medvedev/Djokovic
Eric	118	Alcaraz/Medvedev/Djokovic
Dan	113	Alcaraz/Tiafoe/Djokovic

It’s freezing and snowing in New York… We need global warming…

SEPTEMBER 3, 2023“IT’S FREEZING AND SNOWING IN NEW YORK… WE NEED GLOBAL WARMING…”

And the tennis goes on… It is Sunday here… and the tennis just started… YAY!!! What’s been going on around the grounds… Alcaraz needed four sets to knock out the British #24 Evans… go find a mountain and get some snow Dan… Arnaldi oust another Brit #16 Norrie, 6-3, 6-4, 6-3… back over the pond with you… Zverev needed four to knock out #19 Dimitrov… Sinner over Wawrinka in four sets… but that ASS! sigh… Medvedev took out Baez of Argentina… and was down 5-2 in the third and took it into a tiebreaker and won… de Minaur over #23 Jarry of the Czech Republic… there was a Brit winner from Draper who takes out the American Mmoh 6-4, 6-2, 3-6, 6-3.. Rublev over Rinderknech of France also in four sets… hmmm the top half liked four sets… other than Arnaldi and Medvedev… should be a fun fourth round… bottoms… Hijikata over Zhang in four sets 6-3, 6-3, 4-6, 6-3… Tiafoe takes down the Frenchman and #22 Mannarino in four sets… Paul over Davidovich Fokina in four sets… 6-1, 6-0 (BAGEL), 3-6, 6-3… Shelton over Karatsev in four sets… there is such a trend… Striker in five over Bonzi of France… Fritz blitzes Mensik 6-1, 6-2, 6-0 (BAGEL)… Gojo also in three over Vessely of the Czech Republic…and Djokovic needed FIVE sets to oust his compatriot #32 Djere… 4-6, 4-6, 6-1, 6-1, 6-3… damn it!

Swiatek clobbers Juvan of Slovenia 6-0 (BAGEL), 6-1… Ostapenko takes three to knock out the American Pera; not after losing her shit on some fans… get it together Jelena… You’re at the US Open… this isn’t Latvia central… they are going to try to get you rattled… and you have Swiatek next… have fun… (although, Ostapenko has never lost to her – food for thought)… Wozniacki and her technicolor catsuit beat Brady of the US… and Gauff gets over #32 Mertens of Belgium… 3-6, 6-3, 6-0 (BAGEL)… Cirstea takes down #4 Rybakina in a slug fest… so many ball being destroyed there… Bencic over Zhu of China… Muchova ousts Townsend 7-6(0), 6-3… Wang over Schmiedlova 4-6, 6-3, 6-2… Stearns takes out the last lady Brit Boulter… Vondousova over #22 Alexandrova 6-2, 6-1… Keys knocks out a tough opponent #14 Samsonova… #26 Svitolina fought Pegula to the end… but, not enough and it is time to go see the baby…Zheng bests Bronzetti 6-3, 4-6, 6-4… Kasatkina over Minnen 6-3, 6-4… and Sabalenka over Burel of France… boom… and done…

After all of that… where are you? Hmmm… Well Kresimir has been overtaken in the Men’s Draw by James by one point and Len has kept the lead by a point in the Women’s Draw… The men’s game is going to come down the to final and the women… who knows…

Men’s Draw

Name	Points
James	108
Kresimir	107
Rob	104
Len	104
Tai	99
Peter	99
Eric	98
Dan	93

Women’s Draw

Name	Points
Len	112
James	111
Kresimir	105
Dan	104
Rob	101
Peter	100
Eric	99
Tai	94

I hope you all have an amazing Sunday! Keep the tennis on and loud… There are some people to cheer for and against… GET IT!!!

The Commish!

Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do…

SEPTEMBER 1, 2023“TREES CAUSE MORE POLLUTION THAN AUTOMOBILES DO…”

Good day to you all… have you been watching the tennis… there have been some really good matches and while the doubles start to roll in… so much action in NYC!!! I think my brain might explode… right now… Pegula/Krajicke v. Siegemund/Gille… such a good match… anyway… off to the tennis scores… Alcaraz in straight sets over Harris of South Africa 6-3, 6-1, 7-6(4)… Evans over van de Zandschulp of the Nederlands in four sets… Arnaldi ousts Fils of France in five sets… Norrie over Hsu of Taiwan 7-5. 6-4, 6-4… Zverev needed four sets to oust fellow German Altmaier… Dimitrov takes out Murray of the UK in three, 6-3, 6-4, 6-1… Wawrinka over #30 Etcheverry of Argentina in four sets… Sinner takes out fellow Italian Sonego 6-4, 6-2, 6-4… Medvedev over O’Connell in four sets… Medvedev is a BEAST out there… running after every ball… he may be one of the best defensive players on the tour… Baez over Melgeni Alves of Brazil in three… Jarry over Michelsen of the USA in four sets, 4-6, 6-3, 6-3, 6-3… de Minaur over Wu of China 6-1, 6-2, 6-1… Mmoh over the racist and his last match ever… how poetic to be taken out by a person of color… I AM SOOO HAPPY ABOUT IT!!! Draper takes out #17 Hurkacz in three sets… Rinderknech over Berrettini of Italy in a retirment… 6-4, 5-3… Rublev over Monfils in four sets… the crowd was SO pro-Monfils.. it was so fun to watch… he was grinning ear to ear… Zhang over #5 Ruud in five sets… 6-4, 5-7, 6-2, 0-6 (BAGEL), 6-2… and last year’s runner-up is OUT!!! Hijikata over Fucsovics of Hungary in just under two hours… Mannarino over Marozsan of Hungary in four sets… Tiafoe sends off Ofner of Austria 6-3, 6-1, 6-4… Paul over Safiullin in five sets… Davidovich Fokina sees off Cerundolo of Argentina 6-1, 6-4, 6-3… Shelton over Thiem in a retirement… 7-6(1), 1-0… Karatsev over Carballes Baena in four sets… Stricker takes down #7 Tsitsipas in five sets… bye bye fly… Bonzi over #28 Eubanks in four sets… Mensik over Troguet of France… Fritz over Varillas of Peru… Gojo over the American McDonald and his farm.. 6-3, 6-4, 6-4… Vessely over #20 Cerundolo of Argentina… who is the brother of the one above… both losing in the second round… Djere denies the Frenchman Gaston 6-1, 6-2, 6-3.. and Djokovic takes out Zapata Miralles of Spain 6-4, 6-1, 6-1… meh…

Swiatek over Saville 6-3, 6-4… there were some good points… and a possible turn around for Saville of Australia… but, not today Satan… not today… Juvan over Davis of the US in three sets… Ostapenko took three to take out Avanesyan 6-3, 5-7, 7-5… Pera over Wang of China in three… Wozniacki over #11 Kvitova of the Czech Republic… and despite her terrible outfit… she is playing some great tennis… I don’t know, I think she is lovely and has a great body… I just don’t need to see all of it… I would say the same thing for the men if they were in catsuits… It’s a no from me… Brady over #24 Linette 6-1, 2-6, 6-2… Mertens beats Collins in three sets… that was a great match… so fiesty… Gauff over Andreeva 6-3, 6-2… she seemed to take a page out of round one and took the same predator mentality that Siegemund used… nicely done! Rybakina over Tomljaovic in a walkover… I hope she is ok… I like Ajla… Cirstea over Kalinskaya 6-3, 6-4… Zhu over #18 Azarenka… didn’t see much of the match… but Zhu took the racket out of Vika’s hand… bam and done… Bencic over Miyazaki of the UK in double 6-3s… Muchova over Frech in double 6-3s… Townsend takes out #19 Haddad Maia and the Brazilian was impressed… so was I… Townsend has a very impressive game when it is working… such a force at the net… Wang over Sorribes Tormo 5-7, 6-3, 6-4… (nice call James)… Schmiedlova over Masarova of Spain… Boulter knocks out Wang of China 5-7, 6-1, 6-4… Stearns over Tauson of Denmark 6-3, 6-0 (BAGEL)… Alexandrova over Tsurenko of the Ukraine 6-1, 6-3… no handshake… Vondrousova ousts Trevisan of Italy in 6-2 squared… Samsonova in 6-3s over Korpatsch of Germany… Keys over Wickmayer of Belgium 6-1, 6-2… Samsonova v. Keys – the MATCH OF TOMORROW!!! Svitolina over Pavlyuchenkova 5-7, 6-4, 6-4… what a match!!! Pegula over Tig of Romania who was so cute dancing to “I will survive” even the chair umpire was bopping along… I think that Mary Carrillo made a comment about all the gay music… I think I spit my water out… it was nice… Thanks Mary!!! Bouzkova over Martic of Croatia in 6-1, 6-2 fashion… Zhang needed three sets to get over Kanepi… Bronzetti over Lys in two sets 6-3, 6-2… Kasatkina pulls the curtains over the velociraptor, Kenin of the USA.. Minnen backs up her win over Williams with a win over Vickery of the US… Burel takes out#25 Pliskova 6-4, 6-2 and will take on Sabalenka who beat Burrage of the UK 6-3, 6-2… PHEW…

Amazingly Kresimir is still in the lead on the Men’s Draw… and Len has taken over on the Women’s side by ONE point over James… this is going to be FUN!!!

Men’s Draw

Name	Points	Semifinalists
Kresimir	80	Medvedev/Paul
James	75	Rublev/Paul
Rob	74	Medvedev/Ruud
Len	74	Medvedev/Tiafoe
Tai	72	Medvedev/Tiafoe
Peter	69	Medvedev/Ruud
Eric	68	Medvedev/Ruud
Dan	63	Hurkacz/Tiafoe

Women’s Draw

Name	Points	Semifinalists
Len	82	Rybakina/Pegula
James	81	Rybakina/Jabeur
Rob	80	Rybakina/Vondrousova
Kresimir	78	Muchova/Pegula
Peter	76	Rybakina/Pegula
Dan	74	Muchova/Sabalenka
Eric	72	Rybakina/Pegula
Tai	70	Rybakina/Pegula

Round three has begun and so far most of the big women’s seeds are holding… so are you brackets… but it is by a THREAD!!! Here we go… Round Three DING DING DING!!!

The Commish!

The noise [of wind turbines] causes cancer…

AUGUST 31, 2023“THE NOISE [OF WIND TURBINES] CAUSES CANCER…”

What can we even do as we wind down the end of summer… that’s right… watch more tennis… presently Tommy Paul is in the midst of a dogfight after dropping the first two sets… ARGH!!! At any rate… I hope you are all well and enjoying the sun, while it lasts… Let’s hit the highlights of the first round… shall we?

Alcaraz safely through with a retirement from Koepfer of Germany… he made it to the second set… 6-2, 3-2.. and done… Evans take a first round win over Galan of Columbia 6-4, 6-2, 7-5… #24 Griekspoor from the Nederlands is out of the tournament to Fils in five sets… 4-6, 6-3, 5-7, 6-4, 7-5… four hours later… Norrie over Shevchenko in three sets… Zverev beats Vukic of Australia in triple 6-4s… Dimitrov took five sets to oust Molcan of Slovakia… so many tiebreakers… Etcheverry over Virtanen of Finland in five sets… Sinner takes out Hanfmann of Germany 6-3, 6-1, 6-1… mmmm breadsticks… Medvedev did him one better with a 6-1, 6-1, 6-0 (BAGEL) win over Balazs of Hungary… #27 Coric of Croatia fall in straight sets (just like last week in Winston-Salem) to Baez… Jarry handles Van Assche of France… de Minaur over Skatov in four sets… Mmoh over #11 Khachanov (who called it? Kresimir!) 6-2, 6-4, 6-2… Hurkacz over Huesler in five sets… not so easy for the seeds… Berrettini over #29 Humbert… Rublev over Cazaux of France which winds up the top half of the men’s draw… Ruud need four sets to knock out Nava… Fucsovics takes out #31 Korda in five sets… and a reveal at the end… the Hungarian is JACKED!!! Why isn’t anyone talking about you Sebastian… because you LOSE!!! Mannarino over Watanuki of Japan in four sets… Tiafoe takes out a fellow American in Tien 6-2, 7-5, 6-1… Paul over Travaglia in four sets… Davidovich-Fokina ousts Giron of the USA 6-4, 6-4, 6-2… Thiem over #25 Bublik (who called it, Kresimir)… biggest upset in round one goes to Carballes Baena who takes out #4 Rune 6-3, 4-6, 6-3, 6-2… bye NOT so great Dane… Tsitsipas handles Raonic in straight sets… Eubanks over Kwon of South Korea… Musetti needed five sets to get over Droguet of France.. Fritz over American Johnson in three… McDonald bests #15 Auger-Aliassime (who called it, Kresimir)… Gojo over Dellien of Bolivia… Cerundolo over Svajda of the US… 5-7, 6-4, 6-4, 6-3 (who didn’t get it right, Kresimir)… Djere over Nakashima of the USA in three.. and Djokovic over Muller of France 6-0, 6-2, 6-3… so.. yay for the idiot…

Women… well… Swiatek took care of business… and she sent Peterson packing back to Sweden… Juvan knocks out #29 Cocciaretto… Ostapenko over Paolini in three sets… #16 Kudermetova is out of the tournament after losing to Pera 7-5, 6-4… Kvitova over Busca and Linette over Sasnovich 6-3, 6-1… Mertens over Bjorklund of Sweden and Gauff.. in an incredible match against Siegemund… the German took the first set.. and played CRAZY amazing tennis… but, if she was consistent… she wouldn’t have needed to qualify… right? So, they had these arguments with the chair umpire… and Siegemund got docked a warning for delay on her serve… and then a point penalty on Gauff’s serve… that 19 year old was GRINNING from ear to ear… remember… she is only 19 years old… such a great player and an amazing sportsperson… Rybakina over Kostyuk of Ukraine… 6-2, 6-1… that one hurts… Cirstea over Day of the US in straight sets… Azarenka over Ferro of France… Bencic takes out Rakhimova in straight sets… 6-2, 6-4… Muchova over Hunter of Australia… Haddad Maia over Stephens of the USA… very good match… 6-2, 5-7, 6-4… #28 Kalinina loses to Sorribes Tormo in two sets… and #8 Sakkari is out to Masarova of Spain 6-4, 6-4… #sorrynotsorry… another big name to lose was #7 Garcia who loses to Wang 6-4, 6-1… #27 Potapova out to Tauson in three sets… Alexandrova needed three sets also to take out a very fiesty Canadian, Fernandez… Vondrousova needed one hour to oust Han of S. Korea… 6-3, 6-0 (BAGEL)… Samsonova over Liu of the US in two sets… Keys over Rus in straight sets… Svitolina is still looking great and playing some amazing tennis… She takes out another German, Friedsam 6-3, 6-1… Pegula did a number on a very tough opponent in Giorgi of Italy… 6-2, 6-2.. but that was an hour and 22 minutes… so… it wasn’t easy… Jabeur needed two tight sets to take out Osorio of Colombia… (Osorio is a former US Open Junior Champion)… I don’t think Jabeur was feeling 100%… so, we will see what she can do in her next round… Bouzkova over Krueger of the US… Zheng over Podoroska 6-1, 6-0 (BAGEL) #12 Krejcikova is out to Bronzetti of Italy… The Czech hasn’t been playing great singles for a bit now… 6-4, 7-6(3)… Kasatkina dropped the first set and then took the second two against Parks of the United States… #21 Vekic of Croatia is another dead body in a bloody war after her loss to Vickery the US… Pliskova won a match over Ruse of Romania… 6-1, 6-4… and Sabalenka over Zanevska of Belgium, 6-3, 6-2…

OK.. so, Kresimir is leading the Men’s draw… but not by a lot… and James K is in the lead on the Women’s Draw… Nicely DONE… he had 26 correct on the top half and then didn’t keep up the momentum and allowed a few of you to creep back up… but, he still leads… (first time in a long time someone has beat Kresimir in the first round… fucker)…

Women’s Draw

Name	Points	Champion	Runner-up
James	45	Pegula	Swiatek
Len	44	Sabalenka	Gauff
Kresimir	44	Sabalenka	Gauff
Rob	44	Gauff	Sabalenka
Peter	40	Swiatek	Sabalenka
Tai	38	Swiatek	Jabeur
Eric	38	Gauff	Sabalenka

Men’s Draw

Name	Points	Champion	Runner-up
Kresimir	45	Djokovic	Alcaraz
James	41	Alcaraz	Djokovic
Eric	39	Alcaraz	Djokovic
Rob	39	Alcaraz	Djokovic
Tai	39	Djokovic	Alcaraz
Len	38	Djokovic	Alcaraz
Peter	34	Djokovic	Alcaraz

Round one… over and out… Moving on to round two today and we will give you what’s what on Friday! Have an amazing rest of your day… and enjoy the TENNIS!

The Commish!

2022

2021

I don’t want to swim in the ocean because I might get pregnant by a sperm whale…

SEPTEMBER 13, 2021“I DON’T WANT TO SWIM IN THE OCEAN BECAUSE I MIGHT GET PREGNANT BY A SPERM WHALE…”

De Groot of the Netherlands finishes out the GOLDEN SLAM in women’s singles… she beat #2 seed Kamiji of Japan 6-3, 6-2… congrats to HER and an amazing year!!! Golden slam complete…

Alcott of Australia was also going for a GRAND SLAM in Men’s Quad Wheelchair singles and he COMPLETES his slam and also guzzled a beer out of his trophy… good for him… he beat out Vink of the Netherlands 7-5, 6-2 for the win…

Kunieda of Japan wasn’t going for a Slam; however he takes home the US Open Trophy over Hewett of the UK 6-1, 6-4… and on we go to the Men’s Final…

oh no… wait… we have an upset… yep… 6-4, 6-4, 6-4 and the 2021 US Open Winner is #2 Medvedev who out ran and controlled and dominated the #1 Djokovic… who was also going for a grand slam… not today satan… not today… and he also is STILL tied with Roger and Rafa at 20 majors each… and… wait for it… Rob is still a bridesmaid… and PHIRMAN goes from last to FIRST and takes home the trophy… sorry Eric… that means you are miserable last… and the points have been verified… and we are done and DONE with this year 2021… I hope you have had fun cause I know I did… I will be updating the year end totals… here is how you placed out…

Player	WINNER	Champion	Finalist	Semifinalists	Quarterfinalist
Phirman	192	Medvedev	Zverev	Berrettini/Rublev	Djokovic/Shapovalov/Tsitsipas/Ruud
Rob	187	Djokovic	Medvedev	Zverev/Tsitsipas	Berrettini/Shapovalov/Auger-Aliassime/Schwartzman
Len	182	Djokovic	Medvedev	Zverev/Tsitsipas	Berrettini/Shapovalov/Rublev/Schwartzman
Pornsak	181	Djokovic	Medvedev	Zverev/Tsitsipas	Berrettini/Khachanov/Rublev/Isner
Peter	178	Djokovic	Medvedev	Zverev/Tsitsipas	Berrettini/Shapovalov/Rublev/Ruud
Kresimir	172	Zverev	Medvedev	Djokovic/Rublev	Berrettini/Carreno Busta/Tsitsipas/Ruud
Kotonias	169	Djokovic	Tsitsipas	Zverev/Medvedev	Berrettini/Shapovalov/Auger-Aliassime/Schwartzman
Eric	160	Djokovic	Tsitsipas	Zverev/Medvedev	Berrettini/Shapovalov/Rublev/Ruud

The time has come… where did it go… it always goes fast… when you want it slow… we had some fun… just you and I… and now it is time… we say our good byes… have a great end of your year and we will see you in Australia 2022!!! Cheers and love to you all…

The Commish!

My front desk gym rep said, ‘I gave them a one-week free trial. March 27th to March 35th…

SEPTEMBER 12, 2021“MY FRONT DESK GYM REP SAID, ‘I GAVE THEM A ONE-WEEK FREE TRIAL. MARCH 27TH TO MARCH 35TH…”

ok… well… that was a very good final match… and it was very good for the UK… because Raducanu is the FIRST qualifier to Ever win a major in ANY tournament… she takes out a very respectable Fernandez who although lost, gained a LOT of fans… she was so determined and such a tough competitor… it was a great match and I hope you all saw it… 6-4, 6-3… Raducanu did not drop a SET in all 10 matches she played… she didn’t knock out any top ten seeds, but is crowned the queen of queens… and will jump into the top 30… Fernandez will claim a top 50 spot with her result… it is a good day for the UK who haven’t raised a trophy since 1977 on the women’s side… and then have a teenage sensation in Raducanu… never let go…

The mixed doubles also occurred today and Krawczyk of the USA and Salisbury of the UK take home the trophy… they won 7-5, 6-2 over Olmos and Arevalo of Mexico and Ecuador respectively…

ok… so there are MANY other winners… want to see them??? ok… here they are… Wheel Chair Men’s Doubles winners are Hewett and Reid of the UK over Fernandez of Argentina and Kunieda of Japan… 6-2, 6-1….

Boys Doubles winners were Westphal of France and Wong of Hong Kong who beat out Bielinskyi of the Ukraine and Nesterov of Bulgaria 6-3, 7-5, [10]-[1]… I think they were excited!!!

De Groot and Van Koot of the Netherlands win the ladies wheelchair doubles 6-1, 6-2 over Kamiji of Japan and Whiley of the UK… see the UK didn’t win EVERYTHING…

Krueger and Montgomery of the US beat the other US team of Brantmeier and Kalieva 5-7, 6-3, [10]-[4]…

and Montgomery wins the girl’s singles over Dmitruk of Belorussia… 6-2, 6-4… so… she wins singles and doubles… that is a nice day at the office… I think that might be one to watch… Montgomery!!!

And she is a cutie too!

Last on we have Rincon of Spain taking out the number one seed from China Shang 6-2, 7-6(6)

I have checked ALL the points.. and well… Peter is your WINNER!!! Phirman… you are miserable last… OFFICIALLY!!!

Player	WINNER	Champion	Finalist	Semi Finalists	Quarterfinalist
Peter	158	Barty	Sabalenka	Pliskova/Osaka	Swiatek/Andreescu/Halep/Krejcikova
Eric	156	Sabalenka	Barty	Pliskova/Osaka	Swiatek/Andreescu/Svitolina/Krejcikova
Rob	152	Barty	Sabalenka	Pliskova/Osaka	Swiatek/Kvitova/Svitolina/Krejcikova
Len	147	Barty	Osaka	Pliskova/Sabalenka	Swiatek/Andreescu/Svitolina/Krejcikova
Kotonias	146	Pliskova	Svitolina	Barty/Jabeur	Bencic/Sakkari/Gauff/Muguruza
Pornsak	143	Barty	Sabalenka	Pliskova/Osaka	Bencic/Sakkari/Svitolina/Muguruza
Kresimir	125	Barty	Krejcikova	Pliskova/Vondrousova	Teichman/Kvitova/Kerber/Jabeur
Phirman	119	Barty	Osaka	Pliskova/Azarenka	Teichman/Andreescu/Svitolina/Sabalenka

Congrats to OUR winner Peter… and we will move forward to the men’s final… who will win… Medvedev or Djokovic… #1 or #2…

OK… so much to do and so little time… enjoy your Sunday!!!

The Commish!

And “Oh, I don’t believe in electrons…

SEPTEMBER 11, 2021“AND “OH, I DON’T BELIEVE IN ELECTRONS…”

Can you believe the amazing feats of strength and incredible amounts of bullshit which are in the world… well… we move forward… Medvedev didn’t need too much time to dispatch #12 Auger-Aliassime 6-4, 7-5, 6-2 in 2 hours and 4 minutes….. Djokovic took a bit longer to take out #4 Zverev 4-6, 6-2, 6-4, 4-6, 6-2 in 3 hours and 34 minutes… well… we will see who comes out the winner… it isn’t going to be me… just sayin’…

And we have our first WINNER – men’s doubles were crowned today… Ram of the USA and Salisbury of the UK claim the crown over Murray (UK) and Soares (Brazil) 3-6, 6-2, 6-2…

For you… well we have a new leader… Rob has taken the lead with Len JUST behind… no one can gain on these people… oh… wait… Phirman can claim the WIN with Medvedev winning this tournament… how is that for a SPIN!!! Again… I will need to recount; however, this is amazing… yes, I see that Phirman would get to 192 with Medvedev winning and the rest of you will remain as you are… otherwise… Kresimir will be second to last with Phirman in miserable last… we are all waiting… well… some of us will be waiting… others, have things to do… so, go… do it… enjoy the day!!!

Player	Semifinals	Champion	Finalist
Rob	187	Djokovic	Medvedev
Len	182	Djokovic	Medvedev
Pornsak	181	Djokovic	Medvedev
Peter	178	Djokovic	Medvedev
Kresimir	172	Zverev	Medvedev
Kotonias	169	Djokovic	Tsitsipas
Eric	160	Djokovic	Tsitsipas
Phirman	142	Medvedev	Zverev

Welcome to the Weekend!!!

The Commish!

Waterboarding isn’t that bad. It’s just where they drip water on your head…

SEPTEMBER 10, 2021“WATERBOARDING ISN’T THAT BAD. IT’S JUST WHERE THEY DRIP WATER ON YOUR HEAD…”

WOWZA!!! that is all I can say right now… I hope you have seen the results or the matches… but we are in for a NEW day at the US Open 2021… in the first match up… Fernandez knocked out the #2 Sabalenka… and when I say she took her down it was a take down… 7-6(4), 4-6, 6-4… watch that match… it was AWESOME!!! and in the second match up Raducanu the qualifier (yes, Len a qualifier) is in the final as she took down #17 Sakkari 6-1, 6-4… we are seeing a new age of players and they are NOT afraid… SO excited for this final.. I still haven’t decided who to cheer for.. I am likely just to watch the match and see what happens… GO BOTH OF YOU!!!

Nothing changes for your draw… PETER IS THE WINNER!!! I am going to go back and re-count… you know… why not??? right… but Peter is the winner most likely… Eric is in second and Rob takes a lovely third… congrats to you… and miserable last is Phirman… and yes, you will come back and fight another day… I believe in you… we all believe in you…

Player	Round One	Round Two	Round Three	Round Four	Quarterfinals	Semifinals	WINNER
Peter	49	97	133	148	158	158	158
Eric	44	90	126	146	156	156	156
Rob	45	95	122	142	152	152	152
Len	47	93	117	137	147	147	147
Kotonias	47	99	126	146	146	146	146
Pornsak	45	87	108	133	143	143	143
Kresimir	56	100	115	125	125	125	125
Phirman	44	86	104	119	119	119	119

Keep on keeping on… the men’s semifinals are tomorrow and there is going to be a new winner for the women and there is hope there will be a new winner for the men!!!

GO ZVEREV!!!

The Commish!

dinosaur bones are man-made by scientists to convince us there is no god…

SEPTEMBER 9, 2021“DINOSAUR BONES ARE MAN-MADE BY SCIENTISTS TO CONVINCE US THERE IS NO GOD…”

Well… how are you doing??? staying up late to watch some tennis… getting up early to see the sunrise… I mean… watch tennis??? I keep thinking I am going to get a good match and then the balloon pops and I am left with my deflated hopes and dreams… well… welcome to the real world… so… we have Djokovic taking down #6 Berrettini in four sets… 5-7, 6-2, 6-2, 6-3… I keep thinking someone is going to keep challenging him… but, alas, they fizzle… Zverev has yet to drop a set… and will meet him in the semifinals after taking out Harris of South Africa 7-6. 6-3. 6-4… Auger-Alissime removes Alcaraz 6-3, 3-1 in a retirement from the Spaniard… well… that was a touch lackluster… Medvedev needed four sets to get past Van de Zandschulp 6-3, 6-0, 4-6, 7-5… and the Djokovic match was the longest of the four at 3 hours and 26 minutes… that’s nothing…

Raducanu takes out #11 Bencic 6-3, 6-4… such consistency from this British player who is 18 years of age and no one is talking about…. interesting… Sakkari takes out #4 Pliskova in double 6-4s… These two ladies finished their matches in 1 hour and 22 minutes EACH!!! Sabalenka over #8 Krejcikova in 1 hour and 26 minutes in a 6-1, 6-4 victory… and Miss, tiny fist in the air, Fernandez took 2 hours and 24 minutes to oust #5 Svitolina 6-3, 3-6, 7-6(5)… Svitolina hit the ball corner to corner and Fernandez didn’t even look winded… now, that is impressive… please sir… may I have some more….

And where do you stand… well… in the place where you live…. oh, not time for an R.E.M. cover band… fine… suit yourself, they are pretty good… now there is something wrong with the system and I can no longer copy and paste a spreadsheet into this website… I fucking hate this place… so, I am going to be finding a new system to work this magic… don’t worry – the name won’t change… but wordpress can FUCK OFF!!! here are your points… for the Lady’s Draw… Eric is in second, but has Sabalenka to win… so 50 points to gain… that is sizeable… Rob also has Sabalenka to the final… so… if Sabalenka makes the final… Eric wins and Rob is second… If she wins… Eric still wins… if she is beaten by Fernandez… the below is how it will go… Phirman in miserable last…. but in good company…

Player	Quarterfinals	Champion	Finalist
Peter	158	Barty	Sabalenka
Eric	156	Sabalenka	Barty
Rob	152	Barty	Sabalenka
Len	147	Barty	Osaka
Kotonias	146	Pliskova	Svitolina
Pornsak	143	Barty	Sabalenka
Kresimir	125	Barty	Krejcikova
Phirman	119	Barty	Osaka

For the Men’s draw… Kresimir is still leading, but of course that can change… at any MINUTE!!! Kotonias is JUST back as is Rob, Len and Pornsak… Phirman is in miserable last… but can still make a redemption run IF Medvedev wins with Zverev in a lovely second… Kresimir has the opposite effect and those with Tsitsipas to the final will not do so well unless FAA makes his move on the Russian… it is all still anyone’s game… GO wife-beater… fucking gross…

Player	Quarterfinals	Champion	Finalist
Kresimir	152	Zverev	Medvedev
Kotonias	149	Djokovic	Tsitsipas
Rob	147	Djokovic	Medvedev
Len	142	Djokovic	Medvedev
Pornsak	141	Djokovic	Medvedev
Eric	140	Djokovic	Tsitsipas
Peter	138	Djokovic	Medvedev
Phirman	122	Medvedev	Zverev

And that is how it is… how it will break down and how you… can see yourself to the top… or out the door… Women’s Semifinals TONIGHT!!! I am hoping for a teenage dream final!!! But, we shall see!!!

The Commish

I don’t know the number for 9-1-1…

SEPTEMBER 7, 2021“I DON’T KNOW THE NUMBER FOR 9-1-1…”

So… it has been interesting to say the least… these humans out there slugging the tennis ball with their rackets and us watching… to the left…. to the right… to the left… to the right… to the net… oh… 30-15… so… so… good… what an amazing time… Djokovic dropped the first set again and gave us some drama in the second with his win over Brooksby 1-6, 6-3, 6-2, 6-2… see you real soon… Berrettini needed four sets to take out the German, Otte 6-4, 3-6, 6-3, 6-2… Zverev took three to oust #13 Sinner 6-4, 6-4, 7-6(7)… #22 Opelka leaves us with a 6-7(6), 6-4, 6-1, 6-3 loss to the South African Harris… Auger-Aliassime needed four sets to take down Tiafoe of the USA 4-6, 6-2, 6-1, 6-3… Alcaraz over Gojowczyk of Germany in five sets 5-7, 6-1, 5-7, 6-2, 6-0 (BAGEL) and done… Van de Zandschup over #11 Schwartzman in five sets… 6-3, 6-4, 5-7, 5-7, 6-1… and Medvedev is cruising through over #24 Evans of the UK… 6-3. 6-4. 6-3… eeek… we have a final 8!!!

Raducanu of the UK took Ms. Rogers and beat her to a pulp and threw her back on to the court… that is what you get for beating an Aussie… well… almost like that… 6-2, 6-1… that consistency of the British player was unbeatable today… and she will face off with Bencic who takes out #7 Swiatek 7-6(12), 6-3… not anything but a battle… Pliskova over #14 Pavlychenkova 7-5, 6-4…. and the night battle… sweet baby jesus… 6-7(2), 7-6(6), 6-3 to Sakkari of Greece and the Canadian #6 Andreescu is out of the tournament… BOOM… mic drop… Svitolina over #12 Halep in double 6-3s…. Fernandez the winner over Osaka takes down #16 Kerber in three sets 4-6, 7-6(5), 6-2… Krejcikova in dramatic fashion overtakes #9 Muguruza… 6-3, 7-6(4)… and Sabalenka over her good friend #15 Mertens in two sets 6-4, 6-1… not playing well in the sandbox, I see…

Well there you have it… we are off to the quarters and although there is no shift in the men’s draw for the top… the rest of you are squirreling around and collecting some nuts… it is going to come down to the end… Kresimir does have Zverev to win the title and Phirman has Medvedev… so… with the rest of you with Djokovic… it will come down to the wire!!! Phirman is in miserable last… but he looks so cute there…

Player	Round Four	Champion	Finalist	Semifinalists
Kresimir	122	Zverev	Medvedev	Djokovic/Rublev
Kotonias	119	Djokovic	Tsitsipas	Zverev/Medvedev
Rob	117	Djokovic	Medvedev	Zverev/Tsitsipas
Len	112	Djokovic	Medvedev	Zverev/Tsitsipas
Pornsak	111	Djokovic	Medvedev	Zverev/Tsitsipas
Eric	110	Djokovic	Tsitsipas	Zverev/Medvedev
Peter	108	Djokovic	Medvedev	Zverev/Tsitsipas
Phirman	102	Medvedev	Zverev	Berrettini/Rublev

Oh ladies… look where you are… Peter is still in the lead… but without a champion in the mix, can he hold on to that position… Kotonias and Eric are RIGHT BEHIND!!! so exciting… Kresimir has clawed his way to the bottom of the heap and is just up from Phirman… They both have a Pliskova semifinalist… and well… that will mean that Kresimir will stay ahead of Phirman… but it doesn’t mean the rest of you are safe… so… keep it together… we are coming for you…

Player	Round Four	Champion	Finalist	Semi Finalists
Peter	148	Barty	Sabalenka	Pliskova/Osaka
Kotonias	146	Pliskova	Svitolina	Barty/Jabeur
Eric	146	Sabalenka	Barty	Pliskova/Osaka
Rob	142	Barty	Sabalenka	Pliskova/Osaka
Len	137	Barty	Osaka	Pliskova/Sabalenka
Pornsak	133	Barty	Sabalenka	Pliskova/Osaka
Kresimir	125	Barty	Krejcikova	Pliskova/Vondrousova
Phirman	119	Barty	Osaka	Pliskova/Azarenka

Hope you all had an amazing weekend… enjoy the week and enjoy the tennis!!!

The Commish!

I wish there was a window in between us so I didn’t have to look at you…

SEPTEMBER 5, 2021“I WISH THERE WAS A WINDOW IN BETWEEN US SO I DIDN’T HAVE TO LOOK AT YOU…”

So.. the seeds begin to fall… on the ground… so they can grow again… the circle of life… ok… well that was a bit esoteric… but, fun none the less… some of the tennis has been fun… and some of it… meh… Djokovic stays afloat after dropping the first set to Nishikori of Japan… it was a 6-7(4) 6-3, 6-3, 6-2 win for the world number one… Brooksby of the USA upsets #21 Karatsev in five sets… 6-2, 3-6, 2-6, 6-3, 6-3… I was looking forward to a repeat of the semis in Australia… however, when I looked at my draw… I was thinking go Brooksby… Otte over Seppi in four sets 6-3, 6-4, 2-6, 7-5 for the German… and he gets the opportunity to play Berrettini after his five set win over Ivashka of Belorussia… 6-7(5), 6-2, 6-4, 2-6, 6-3… Zverev survives a first set loss to Sock of the USA and then steam rolls him 3-6, 6-2, 6-3, 2-1 and Sock retires from the match… Sinner needed five sets to take out #17 Monfils 7-6(1), 6-2, 4-6, 4-6, 6-4… Opelka over Basilashvili the “other wife beat”er… 7-6(5), 6-3, 6-4… pretty straight forward… Harris knocks out #7 Shapovalov in three 6-4s… Tiafoe over #5 Rublev in five sets… 4-6, 6-3, 7-6(6), 4-6, 6-1… and the American moves forward… Auger-Aliassime over #18 Bautista Agut… 6-3, 6-4, 4-6, 3-6, 6-3… it was a BATTLE with these two… one more ball… one more ball… so good… Gojowczyk over Laaksonen 3-6, 6-3, 6-1, 6-4 as one of the two qualifiers moves on to the fourth round… Alcaraz takes out #3 Tsitsipas… yes… after too many bathroom breaks… dysentery for everyone… you get the diarrhea… and you get the diarrhea… and YOU get DIARRHEA!!! YAY… grow up little Greek… or I am going to start calling you yogurt… you all know I will do it… Van de Zandschulp is out there knocking down the players and takes out the Argentine Bagnis… 3-6, 6-0 (BAGEL), 6-2, 6-2… and sets up a meeting with Schwartzman who took three sets to down Molcan 6-4, 6-3, 6-3… boom… Evan over Popyrin 4-6, 3-6, 6-3, 6-4, 7-6(1)… I think someone was tired… and Medvedev needed less than 2 hours to take out Andujar of Spain… 6-0 (BAGEL), 6-4, 6-3… and there you have it… the men’s draw pulled out like a taffy…

<shakes head>… it was a SHITSHOW for the ladies… shitshow… #1 Barty is out to Rogers of the USA… 6-2, 1-6, 7-6(5)… it changed so fast… Barty was up 5-2 and dropped twice to Rogers and moved to the tiebreak where no one blinked until Barty did and then it was over… Raducanu over Sorribes Tormo 6-0 (BAGEL), 6-1… this is the real deal…. Sorribes Tormo was in GOOD form… and she was just maxed out by this young British player… get out and see her… she has Rogers up next… I see Raducanu in the Quarters for SURE… Bencic over #23 Pegula (the billionaire)… 6-2, 6-4… Swiatek over #28 Kontaveit 6-3, 4-6, 6-3… and the Pole moves on!!! Pliskova over Tomljanovic 6-3, 6-2… Pavlyuchenkova over Gracheva… two Russians go into a bar… and… well… Gracheva gets kicked out… 6-1, 6-4… good joke, no??? Sakkari takes out the #10 Kvitova in two sets 6-4, 6-3…. and Andreescu is moving up the ranks with her win over Minnen 6-1, 6-2… that is a good tournament for the lesbian from Belgium… Svitolina over #25 Kasatkina 6-4, 6-2… Svitolina is NOT taking any bullshit… and now she will face Halep who ousted #19 Rybakina 7-6(11), 4-6, 6-3… Kerber over Stephens 5-7, 6-2, 6-3… and the big upset was #3 Osaka ousted by eighteen year old Fernandez of Canada… bless her heart… Osaka… honestly… don’t act like a child… I know you hurt and I know you’re in pain… but there is no need for unsportsperson like conduct… yes, it sucks… you didn’t hit the ball in… but be a better example… right Mr. Phirman… it is good to be a good sportsperson… <ting – like the Orbitz commercial> Krejcikova over Rakhimova 6-4, 6-2… Muguruza over #18 Azarenka 6-4, 3-6, 6-2…. Mertens was ready for #20 Jabeur and took her down like a scissor happy stepchild… just grinding away… oh, this isn’t my porn blog… whoops… ok… back to the match… 6-3, 7-5 for the Belgian… Sabalenka took down the Minion… dressed like a minion… and yes… I know she has had health problems… but she did what she DID… so… tainted… but I hope she is better and after winning two tournaments… I think she is… Sabalenka is just too much power for her on this day in a double 6-3 victory for the Belorussian… in just under an hour and a half…

Where does that leave you… have you counted??? of course you haven’t… I did… and you knew I did… I see you… it is anyone’s game right now… there are some who are still doing well… not sure why… and although Kresimir is leading with his Harris and Brooksby picks helping out BIGGLY… it falls a bit like this… and here is what you have left to move forward to the quarters…

Player	Round Three	Quarterfinalist
Kresimir	102	Djokovic/Berrettini/Zverev/Medvedev
Pornsak	91	Djokovic/Berrettini/Zverev/Medvedev
Rob	92	Djokovic/Berrettini/Zverev/Auger-Aliassime/Schwartzman/Medvedev
Len	92	Djokovic/Berrettini/ Zverev/Schwartzman/Medvedev
Eric	90	Djokovic/Berrettini/Zverev/Medvedev
Peter	88	Djokovic/Berrettini/Zverev/Medvedev
Kotonias	94	Djokovic/Berrettini/Zverev/Auger-Aliassime/Schwartzman/Medvedev
Phirman	82	Djokovic/Berrettini/Zverev/Medvedev

And the LADIES are still in the numbers lead… I still think this is the first time in a VERY long time (2 or 3 years) where the lady’s draw has higher points than the men’s… but… I don’t think that is going to last long… Peter has taken over the lead by a nice margin… with Kotonias and Eric just behind… It is important to note that Phirman is in miserable last in both draws… #notsorryatall

Player	Round Three	Quarterfinalist
Peter	133	Swiatek/Pliskova/Andreescu/Halep/Krejcikova/Sabalenka
Kotonias	126	Bencic/Pliskova/Sakkari/Svitolina/Muguruza
Eric	126	Swiatek/Pliskova/Andreescu/Svitolina/Krejcikova/Sabalenka
Rob	122	Swiatek/Pliskova/Svitolina/Krejcikova/Sabalenka
Len	117	Swiatek/Pliskova/Andreescu/Svitolina/Krejcikova/Sabalenka
Kresimir	115	Pliskova/Kerber/Krejcikova
Pornsak	108	Bencic/Pliskova/Sakkari/Svitolina/Muguruza/Sabalenka
Phirman	104	Pliskova/Andreescu/Svitolina/Sabalenka

So, that is where we stand as of just now… how fun… and we will see who makes it to the next round… and who is left crying in their cheerios… it will probably be me…

The Commish!

They laid their jacket right beside a stove and said, ‘Don’t worry, it’s waterproof’…

SEPTEMBER 3, 2021“THEY LAID THEIR JACKET RIGHT BESIDE A STOVE AND SAID, ‘DON’T WORRY, IT’S WATERPROOF’…”

Well… that was an interesting couple of days… how are you all doing??? Reeling from the disdain and hatred for your selection… much like how your mother feels about you… no… just me??? ok then… moving along… winners and losers… you know… the ones which hurt the most… #10 Hurkacz is out of this tournament with a loss to Seppi of Italy… not cute… but, it is what it is… 2-6, 6-4, 6-4, 7-6(6)… #31 Bublik took five sets to disrupt and Sock is through to the third round 7-6(3), 6-7(2), 6-4, 4-6, 6-3… #16 Garin is out of the tournament with his loss to qualifier Laaksonen of Switzerland in four sets 3-6, 7-6(5), 6-2, 6-4… #8 Ruud is also done for this fortnight… a loss to one of the longer names in the tournament… Van de Zandschulp 3-6, 6-4, 6-3, 6-4… #15 Dimitrov is out due to a retirement by the Bulgarian to Popyrin in the third set 7-6(4), 7-6(4), 4-0… well… another one bites the dust… there are a couple more notable wins ala Nishikori who beat McDonald of the USA in five sets 7-6(3), 6-3, 6-7(5), 2-6, 6-3…. what a match… Gojowczyk over Lajovic in five 2-6, 6-4, 2-6, 7-5, 6-4 and Molcan over Nakashima in five sets 6-3, 3-6, 1-6, 6-2, 6-4… we know five sets is a challenge, so… here you are… now… what is going to happen with the lady draw???

The seeded Ladies are doing well this tournament… so, now that they don’t have a choice but to fall… we will see which ones survive… #30 Martic falls to Tomjlanovic of Australia 7-6(6) 6-4… #24 Badosa is out to Gracheva of Russia in a double 6-4….#21 Gauff takes a loss to Stephens 6-4, 6-2… and that was all of the loser seeds… weird… maybe the Ladies game is solidifying… we shall see… Kasatkina took three sets to take out Vondrousova 3-6, 6-4, 6-4… I mean the Czech is a silver medalist…. you would think she would play better… well Kresimir did… Swiatek was taken the distance with 3-6, 7-6(3), 6-0 (BAGEL) win over Frenchie Ferro…. Pliskova over Anisimova in 2 hours and 21 minutes… 7-5, 6-7(5), 7-6(7)… Pavlyuchenkova over Schmiedlova of Slovakia 6-2, 5-7, 6-2… and every other set was a straight sets win… so… yawn…

For you… I would have thought you would have all caught up with Kresimir… however, that isn’t the case and that asshole is still ruling the roost on both draws… but in hot pursuit particularly in the women’s draw… I see you Kotonias… and in the men’s draw.. Pornsak is coming in HOT!!! It is almost too much to bear… but… we will carry on… Phirman… you are a double suck!!! Miserable last in BOTH draws… The men’s draw hasn’t yet reached 100… and only one person has reached the century marker for the lady draw… but we all know it is possible… next round… right??? here we go… and here is where you stand…

Player	Round Two	Champion	Finalist	Semifinalists
Kresimir	78	Zverev	Medvedev	Djokovic/Rublev
Pornsak	73	Djokovic	Medvedev	Zverev/Tsitsipas
Rob	71	Djokovic	Medvedev	Zverev/Tsitsipas
Len	71	Djokovic	Medvedev	Zverev/Tsitsipas
Eric	69	Djokovic	Tsitsipas	Zverev/Medvedev
Peter	67	Djokovic	Medvedev	Zverev/Tsitsipas
Kotonias	67	Djokovic	Tsitsipas	Zverev/Medvedev
Phirman	61	Medvedev	Zverev	Berrettini/Rublev

Player	Round Two	Champion	Finalist	Semifinalists
Kresimir	100	Barty	Krejcikova	Pliskova/Vondrousova
Kotonias	99	Pliskova	Svitolina	Barty/Jabeur
Peter	97	Barty	Sabalenka	Pliskova/Osaka
Rob	95	Barty	Sabalenka	Pliskova/Osaka
Len	93	Barty	Osaka	Pliskova/Sabalenka
Eric	90	Sabalenka	Barty	Pliskova/Osaka
Pornsak	87	Barty	Sabalenka	Pliskova/Osaka
Phirman	86	Barty	Osaka	Pliskova/Azarenka

It is going to be a bumpy ride… so… let’s get ready… you thought I was going to say buckle up… yawn… that is sooooo Roland Garros 2021… time for some TENNIS!!!

The Commish!

She could never use a sperm donor to have a kid because she wasn’t 100% sure that the baby would speak English…

SEPTEMBER 1, 2021“SHE COULD NEVER USE A SPERM DONOR TO HAVE A KID BECAUSE SHE WASN’T 100% SURE THAT THE BABY WOULD SPEAK ENGLISH…”

yes, people are stupid… and well, there is never an exception… I am just going to focus in on the biggest losers of the first round… cause it is nice to give them the limelight for a hot second because they sucked so much…

#27 Goffin only needed three sets to lose this match… well all the men do… but it was a three set loss to American McDonald 6-2, 7-5, 6-3… no more Belgium… at least #14 de Minaur got a set and lost with some dignity… 7-6(4), 6-2, 1-6, 6-4 to the American Fritz… and a lot of you had Fritz moving forward, so no surprise there… Otte needed four sets to beat #20 Sonego of Italy… 6-7(8), 7-5, 7-6(4), 7-6(1)… Pospisil over #28 Fognini in five sets 2-6, 3-6, 6-1, 6-3, 7-6(4) to the Canadian… Cressy over #9 Carreno Busta and that is an upset… 5-7, 4-6, 6-1, 6-4, 7-6(7) and I think there was a broken racket after the last point… whoops… #25 Khachanov is out of the tournament after losing to South African Harris… 6-4, 1-6, 4-6, 6-3, 6-2… #32 Krajinovic lost to Pella of Argentina 6-7(2), 6-3, 6-2, 6-2… see, it isn’t just the Americans winning… Gojowczyk of Germany over #23 Humbert 1-6, 6-1, 6-2, 5-7, 6-4… the young Spaniard Alcaraz over #26 Norrie 6-4, 6-4, 6-3… #29 Davidovich Fokina is out to Trungelliti of Argentina 5-7, 6-3, 7-5, 6-7(3), 6-4… Nakashima of the USA takes down #19 the other racist (Isner) 7-6(7), 7-6(6), 6-3… and I giggled… just a little bit… #30 Cilic took a bow and retired against Kohlschreiber in the fifth set… 6-7(4), 6-7(3), 6-2, 6-1, 2-0 and we are done with the biggest losers on the men’s side…

LADIES… no… you all didn’t escape the wrath of the first round… #29 Kudermetova loses to Cirstea of Romania 7-6(5), 3-6, 6-0 (BAGEL)… #22 Muchova is ousted by Sorribes Tormo in straight sets… 6-2, 7-6(3)… #31 Putintseva is ousted by first round giant killer Kanepi… seriously… she plays and trounces more first round seeds than any other player… 2-6, 7-6(4), 6-2…. seriously… that was it for the biggest losers on the women’s side… impressive that most of them held!!! well I am impressed!!!

For you… I have counted the points and sadly… Kresimir is in the lead on BOTH draws… yes, he is a cheater… a full blown nasty cheater… even when Ostapenko pulled out and he found out that Minnen was replacing the Latvian… he didn’t make any changes… Konta also pulled out and Rakhimova got a spot… there were no changes made… and for those of you who had Mladenovic or Podoroska… and they didn’t go through… you didn’t get the point… #sorrynotsorry – I couldn’t have got the information disseminated fast enough… so suck it…

On the Men’s side… it is anyone’s game… even though many of you completely bit the pillow… I mean… come-on… is it that tough… well, yes it is… you have a 50% chance of getting anything right… and well some of you didn’t do well… but, there is always round 2… ding ding ding… Kresimir is in the lead… with Rob behind by 5 points… Kresimir and Phirman are the only 2 who have a NO Serbian Final.. All the rest of you have Djokovic to win… YAWN!!! I am cheering on EVERYONE but that jackass… did you see his “performance” in Tokyo??? what a twat… so… go on… bow down to the king of fifth… never… even if he wins… fuck him… win with dignity… or get the fuck out… TRASHBOX!!! oh, and Phirman is in miserable last… Pornsak is just above…

Player	Round One	Champion	Finalist
Kresimir	46	Zverev	Medvedev
Rob	41	Djokovic	Medvedev
Peter	39	Djokovic	Medvedev
Eric	37	Djokovic	Tsitsipas
Len	37	Djokovic	Medvedev
Kotonias	37	Djokovic	Tsitsipas
Pornsak	35	Djokovic	Medvedev
Phirman	33	Medvedev	Zverev

Ladies… well Kresimir is killing you all in this draw… on day 2 only missed 2 of the 32 options… so… 30 points… Andreescu and Trevisan made it through… and he selected Golubic and Colleen… I know… He picked COLLEEN!!! sigh… it is what it is… Peter is back about 7 paces and I see a LOT of Barty… Kotonias has Pliskova and Eric has Sabalenka… but Barty abounds… I am not going to fault anyone for taking a number one seed… because, that is who should win… right??? ok… Eric and Phirman are in miserable… LAST!!!

Player	Round One	Champion	Finalist
Kresimir	56	Barty	Krejcikova
Peter	49	Barty	Sabalenka
Len	47	Barty	Osaka
Kotonias	47	Pliskova	Svitolina
Pornsak	45	Barty	Sabalenka
Rob	45	Barty	Sabalenka
Eric	44	Sabalenka	Barty
Phirman	44	Barty	Osaka

And that is how we are at the end of the first round… stay tuned for NEXT time… when we talk about carrots… you know… they always sound amazing and then you put them in your mouth… and meh… Round TWO starts NOW!!!

The Commish!

2020

When they go low… we go High… or get high…

SEPTEMBER 14, 2020

so… that was one of the most uninspiring matches I have seen in a very long time… yes, there are nerves and yes, I know the stakes are high… but, I think I could have beat them in that tie breaker!!! Thiem is cramping and Zverev is serving a 68 mile per hour serve… COME ON!!! This is the final at the US Open… dig down… make it count… and Thiem comes up with the win over #5 Zverev… 2-6, 4-6, 6-4, 6-3, 7-6(6)… The women were once again the better players on the Court and even though Azarenka didn’t raise the crown… she should be a proud mother, tennis player, and Champion!!! Naomi Osaka, you are an inspiration both on and off the Court… you are a leader regardless of your desire… I look up to you and you make the world a better place for ALL – #blacklivesmatter

Here is the obligatory image of Thiem and his trophy… good luck at the French… Nadal is going to pound you into the dirt…

Nancy you are OUR champion and well played with Thiem to the final you clinched the win.. Russ was close behind and Rob… yep, you know it… sitting in his taffeta and lace…. still cute though… the rest of you well you’re below… Kresimir is the biggest looser and will take on the title of miserable last in the men’s draw… so be it…

Player	Final Score
Nancy	180
Russ	173
Rob	166
Kurac Bega	164
Kotonias	159
Chris	157
Peter	154
Eric	138
Kresimir	128

OK – tight turn around for the French Open – September 27th and will be going over the fortnight until October 11… may the rains ever be in your favor… It is Paris after all!!! Au Revoir and see you in Europe…

The Commish!

Create your own sunshine…

SEPTEMBER 13, 2020

and here we are again… at the end of the US Open 2020… well, one day to go… but we have a Champion!!! #4 Naomi Osaka takes the crown 1-6, 6-3, 6-3 over Azarenka… it was a very good match… Azarenka took it to her in the first set… I mean it was a smack down… but Naomi found her serve and the range… yes, she has the range… and clawed her way out and over to win the trophy… well done… This is the first time in 24 years (Sanchez-Vicaro over Graf in 1994…

There are always good and bad matches… and there are always good and bad choices made by you!!! Kresimir wins the Lady Draw and loses the Boy’s Draw… so there you have it… Bridesmaid Rob is in second (constantly complaining on how he never wins – ummm check 2018 US Open – you won that one, so enough already)… Peter you have 3rd… the rest… you’re below… Kotonias didn’t have enough in the tank and fill the shoes of miserable last… so be it…

Player	FINAL SCORE
Kresimir	229
Rob	198
Peter	190
Chris	185
Eric	156
Nancy	152
Russ	143
Kurac Bega	131
Kotonias	121

Men’s Final TOMORROW!!! Thiem v. Zverev – Thiem has the lead in their head to head match up 7-2… so… we shall see if it is 7-3 or 8-2… when the sun comes out… or even if it rains… get it kids!!!

The Commish!

Nothing haunts us like the things we don’t say…

SEPTEMBER 12, 2020

so fuck off… I hadn’t said it all week… so, I thought it was a necessity… and I wanted to ensure you read it here first… OK! SO… MOMMA wins doubles… well the combo of Zvonerva and Siegemund in a 6-4, 6-4 victory over Melichar and Xu… it wasn’t a great match… the Euro duo was up breaks and they let them back in both sets… Siegemund was playing like a crazy woman and there was a heated exchange by Zvonereva saying… let me get the balls on my side of the court… there were amazing moments… and we have new champions…

Zverev v. Carreno Busta… Oh what a first match on court for the men… Carreno Busta got a start like CRAZY… it was 6-3, 6-2 and wait… what??? I was kind of shocked and so seemed Zverev… not a terrible start as far as his energy, but just failed to put away the points… THEN he turned it on… was hitting shots out of everywhere… kind of impressive when he plays the actual game… and he rolled off 6-4, 6-3, 6-4 for his first five set come from behind win at a major… well anywhere for that matter… great job… and we will see you in the final…

Medvedev v. Thiem… now… at the onset…. this would appear to be an AMAZING match up… but, meh… Medvedev didn’t look like he wanted to be out there… Thiem turned his ankle and kept slipping in his shoes… they had some nice rallies, but all in all, it was NOT the semifinal match up it would be on paper… but, that is the new COVID life we have here and everywhere… so… welcome to the Jungle.. #3 is sent packing… 6-2, 7-6(4), 7-6(5)… Thiem is off to meet Zverev in the final of the 2020 US Open…

NANCY is the WINNER of the 2020 US Open!!! Congrats to her!!! With her pick of Thiem to the final and other amazing choices, she takes home the trophy… Just behind is Russ and Rob, who seemingly are slightly irritated… so, make better choices… Kurac is fourth, but who cares… Kotonias made a good run of it to claim fifth… Chris in his maiden voyage takes sixth… Peter slipped up to seventh… not in last is Eric and Kresimir with his shitty shitty picks takes home miserable last… we won’t remember his loss though… only his victory in the Women’s Draw… no, no… all you all will remember this and not let him forget it… I know you all a BIT too well.

Player	Finals	Champion	Finalist
Nancy	180	Djokovic	Thiem
Russ	173	Djokovic	Thiem
Rob	166	Djokovic	Medvedev
Kurac Bega	164	Djokovic	Thiem
Kotonias	159	Tsitsipas	Thiem
Chris	157	Djokovic	Medvedev
Peter	154	Djokovic	Medvedev
Eric	138	Djokovic	Medvedev
Kresimir	128	Medvedev	Djokovic

I appreciate you Kotonias… you are the ONLY one who believed in a final which did NOT include Djokovic… BRAVO!!! the rest of you slags, I expect better next time… although it is the French and I already see all your hands on Nadal… so, blech… I will happily lose again…

The Commish!

Prove them wrong…

SEPTEMBER 11, 2020

and they did… wow… what an amazing evening of tennis and a lovely end to the semifinals for the lady draw… did you enjoy??? that is important… so, let’s start with the Men’s doubles final starring two Croatians, a Brazilian and a Dutchman… now if they all walk into a bar… who comes out on top… well, in my head… they are all on the bottom… and I digress… tah dah… so… Pavic/Soares take the crown 7-5, 6-3 over #8 Koolhof/Mektic – sure these boys are not ranked, but only because they haven’t been playing with each other too long… but they are both AMAZING doubles players… congrats to you… raise your trophy!!! There it is… good boy… now time for a biscuit…

Osaka v. Brady – this was a MATCH… I wasn’t surprised by the first set… I mean, who doesn’t love a tie breaker… but, this was a one sided one… 7-6(1) to Osaka… no breaks of serve, only one break CHANCE in the first set which was to Brady who didn’t convert… obviously… then we are on the back half of the second set and Brady gets the break and closes out the second set 6-3… WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN!!! well… it didn’t take long until Osaka was up a break in the third and although it was a fight… she holds on to win the third set and book a ticket to the final, 6-3… #28 Brady is out but CONGRATS to her… she is fit and ready for the clay… bring it ON!!! See you Saturday Osaka…

Serena (MOMMA) v. Azarenka (MOMMA)… I know ALL you bitches were watching this one and sadly I was playing my own round of tennis so was just glancing at the scores… I looked down and Serena was up 4-0… wait… did I read that right??? but, no ladies were singing… so… put your hats on… Serena closed out the first set 6-1 and it looked VERY lopsided… I believe Serena won 86% of her first serves in to Vika’s 52%… Serena broke 3/4 times and Vika had one chance… no conversion… so… wow… Vika had 10 unforced to 4 winners and Serena had 12 winners to 8 unforced… so, it was a very clear Serena set… The second set was quite the clean set by Azarenka 12 winners to ONE unforced error – THAT is a stunning set… Serena matched her 12 and her 8 unforced and Serena only created on break opportunity and Azarenka took 2 of 4 chances… so Vika wins the second 6-3… Third set was 8 winners Azarenka and 6 unforced and Serena had 11 winners and 12 unforced… Serena didn’t get a break opportunity and Vika converted one of her two chances… 6-3 and #3 Serena Williams is packing her bags, baby and husband and headed to Florida… for the winter… well, who knows… but, no 24 on this fortnight… Azarenka to the final to meet Osaka… This is going to be a good one…

I would love to tell you that you have a chance to sneak out a win in the women’s draw, but I would be a liar… and well… not today… Kresimir will hoist his own trophy for the win regardless of the outcome of the final… Rob, who held that crown until the fourth round (BRAVO to you) will remain in second place and isn’t that the WORST place to be??? Peter has third in the bag… Eric will take third IF Azarenka wins and Chris will claim it if Osaka wins… EEEK!!! CAT FIGHT!!! Nancy then Russ then Kurac and miserable last… Kotonias… I love the moxie picks of Kotonias – it is going to pay off… one day… One more match kids… can you hold out until Saturday!!! EEEK…

Player	Finals	Champion	Finalist
Kresimir	199	Osaka	Azarenka
Rob	168	Osaka	Serena
Peter	160	Osaka	Kenin
Eric	156	Serena	Osaka
Chris	155	Osaka	Serena
Nancy	152	Serena	Osaka
Russ	143	Serena	Kvitova
Kurac Bega	131	Pliskova	Kenin
Kotonias	121	Serena	Pliskova

SO excited… Women’s Doubles action and then the MEN take the court… get ready to get sweaty!!! It’s ON!!!

The Commish!

Try to be a Rainbow in someone’s cloud…

SEPTEMBER 10, 2020

OK – now that we are all done vomiting we can get to the tennis… This has been a CRAZY couple of days… wow… Starting at the bottom of the draw and the highest seed left Thiem made VERY quick work of the last Aussie in the draw… #21 de Minaur is out 6-1, 6-2, 6-4… and well… now we have a semifinalist in the Austrian… it is his first semifinal at the US Open… after reaching 2 finals in Paris and a Final this year in Australia… maybe it is his year??? Medvedev took down his Russian buddy #10 Rublev, but not without issue – he seemed to be cramping in the third and has a bit of a shoulder issue… EEEK!!! 7-6(6), 6-3, 7-6(5) and through to meet Thiem… Kresimir is a bit worried… just a bit… Zverev over #27 Coric in four sets… a LOT of drama on the Court and all caused by Coric and called out by Zverev, but no help from the chair umpire… let’s see if she gets his match again for a while… it wasn’t good calls… let’s just say that… 1-6, 7-6(5), 7-6(1), 6-3 to the German and he moves on to his semifinal match against Carreno Busta of Spain over #12 Shapovalov from Canada… 3-6, 7-6(5)7-6(4), 0-6(BAGEL), 6-3… clearly a bit of gamesmanship in the fourth set by the Spaniard, but there are no rules in tennis unless you hit someone in the throat, “allegedly”…

LADIES!!! – calling all mothers to the court… all mothers to the court… Brady wasted no time in her draw up against #23 Putinteseva and marched into her first semifinal 6-3, 6-2 and sets up a BIG match up against Osaka who took down Rogers in straight sets 6-3, 6-4… it wasn’t a bad match at all – a lot of hard hitting but the player from Japan takes it and moves forward… Serena (MOMMA)… sigh… 4-6, 6-3, 6-2… seriously, after the first set – I cannot even take this any more… girl… I have a heart and I need it to keep beating… Pironkova (MOMMA) is out… but, clearly not without a fight… she has a really good backhand and needs to work on the forehand if she wants to defeat the former world number one… so… well, she steps into the ring with Aarenka (MOMMA) who needed only a breadstick and a bagel to take down #16 Mertens… I literally went for a walk and it was over… 1 hour and 16 minutes… I swear it was less… Azarenka looks GOOD kids… really good…

For you… well… you know… it isn’t cute – people are making a run of it in the men’s side… Rob is still holding on, but things are shifting… only points left at the bottom, will it be Medvedev or will it be Thiem… no one cares anymore about the top half of the draw and every one is focused on the bottoms… I mean bottom of the draw… look at it!!! amazing!!! Kresimir is still at the bottom of the draw… and that is alright… cause if Medvedev wins the tournament… he is going to RISE UP!!! If Medvedev wins the whole thing – Kresimir will take second to Rob… if Thiem makes the final, Kresimir is last and Nancy will win, Russ Second and Rob Third… the rest of you will fall in line… as you were…

Player	Quarterfinals	Champion	Finalist
Rob	166	Djokovic	Medvedev
Nancy	160	Djokovic	Thiem
Chris	157	Djokovic	Medvedev
Peter	154	Djokovic	Medvedev
Russ	153	Djokovic	Thiem
Kurac Bega	144	Djokovic	Thiem
Kotonias	139	Tsitsipas	Thiem
Eric	138	Djokovic	Medvedev
Kresimir	128	Medvedev	Djokovic

ALL MY SINGLE LADIES!!! and those attached… we have so much tennis left and while Kresimir is in the lead… he has Azarenka to the final – most of you have Serena… so, that is fun… then there is Osaka at the top for points… so… Serena goes through… it could have some ALARMING effect on this draw… while Kotonias is in miserable last, don’t put him out… Serena to win it all he says and she might do that… Eric will win IF Serena wins… Russ wins if Osaka doesn’t make the final and Serena does… IF Azarenka makes the final – Kresimir wins… IF Serena makes the final and Osaka wins… Rob wins… crap… this thing is complicated… did you get that??? If not, I will express something different tomorrow… cause, it is that confusing…

Player	Quarterfinals	Champion	Finalist
Kresimir	159	Osaka	Azarenka
Rob	148	Osaka	Serena
Russ	143	Serena	Kvitova
Peter	140	Osaka	Kenin
Eric	136	Serena	Osaka
Chris	135	Osaka	Serena
Nancy	132	Serena	Osaka
Kurac Bega	131	Pliskova	Kenin
Kotonias	121	Serena	Pliskova

ok… so much more tennis for tomorrow and the men’s DOUBLES FINAL!!! Pavic/Soares v. Koolhof/Mektic (8) – should be a good match up!!! Ready, Set, and TOMORROW PLEASE!!!

The Commish!

All limitations are self-imposed…

SEPTEMBER 8, 2020

alright kids – we have set up the quarterfinals at the US Open, 2020… I am still super excited this is happening and I feel like I need to pinch myself to wake up… Also, I am happy you are here with me on the journey… It wasn’t so crazy on the men’s side today… one four setter and the rest were in and out without a lot of fight… unfortunately… Thiem had a tight first set with #15 Auger-Aliassime 7-6(4) and then it was bread sticks the rest of the way, 6-1, 6-1 – no to THIS Canadian… he sets up a quarterfinal clash with Australian, de Minaur who beat the other Canadian 7-6(6), 6-3, 6-2 and out goes Popsicle… I mean, Pospisil… I know, he’s never heard that one… – I am SO original… well, he’s gone… so, leave a comment below if you don’t like the joke, but it’s a good one for the end of summer… Medvedev over Tiafoe… come on, did you think it was going to be possible??? 6-4, 6-1, 6-0(BAGEL) – turn the channel… #6 Berrettini took the first set over Rublev 6-4 and then the Russian ROLLED him.. 6-3 for THREE straight sets to victory… so… bye and the Italian’s friend is also out… well… he was still screaming and stomping and yelling at his phone… I think he might need some mental help…

Speaking of mental help… Let’s start with #2 Kenin who seemingly needs some therapy… well, I think she could benefit from a sports psychologist… really really badly… I was listening to Rennae Stubbs who is a former doubles player – she is a very good analyst on the ESPN and she stated that Kenin was on her podcast and admitted she cried BEFORE every match at the Australian Open… I know that mental health is NOT something to make fun of – I do think she needs help… The match today against Mertens did not go the way of the Russian, I mean American… damn it… my fingers get in the way… Mertens took it to the American 6-3, 6-3 and well, no all American Semifinal… and the Belgian is through to the quarters where she will face… Azarenka (MOMMA) who took a beat prior to showing up at the match… 5-7, 6-1, 6-4 over #20 Muchova who took an injury time out between the second and third set… it was a very good match and Vika had a GREAT interview after on ESPN… she was positive and happy and said, I don’t get my energy from the win, it is from being out there… really amazing stuff on perspective from Leo’s Mom!!! Serena(MOMMA) needed three sets to knock off #15 Sakkari 6-3, 6-7(6), 6-3 and a HUGE COME’ON!!! at the end… which was met by her Husband who was growling it back… super cute… Pironkova (MOMMA) took down Cornet in three sets… Pironkova hasn’t played a competitive match in three years and here she is, in the US Open quarterfinals against Serena Williams… how exciting to have 3 mothers in the quarters and potential 2 mothers in the semis… It shows you, that a champion is a champion and they are not defined by just being a mother… BLESS!!!

In other news… Djokovic’s army of idiots are making death threats on the line judge who he hit with the ball… going to her instagram feed and posting stuff to her… She did NOTHING but stand there and YOU all are a bunch of idiots – Djokovic doesn’t have a lot of respect currently, so he had better say something, and quick… or… he will be tainted for the rest of his career… back to Rennae Stubbs who said on twitter – “LET ME SAY THIS LOUDLY! Anyone who blames the lines lady for the default of Novak… STOP! The lady had NOTHING to do with the default! Repeat! Nothing!!! Ok!!!! ITS A RULE! there was NOOOOO WIGGLE ROOM ON THIS! NONE!!” – I think it could be said more eloquently – FUCK OFF YOU TWATS – Djokovic needed to be defaulted, he has done this kind of thing in the past and needs to control his emotions… less words… more effective… Djokovic needs to grow up and show his children that he is the man HE says he is… Right now, I don’t even want to mention his name… Felicia…

OK – so, now we have the lady draw and Kresimir is in the lead still – WOW!!! that’s not too shabby… someone is proud of themselves… whatever… you’re still a loser in the men’s draw… but Rob is VERY close behind and Serena winning could sink him… Below you will see a breakdown of how many points you can GET through the end of the tournament… There are a LOT of points out there… IF Serena wins and Osaka loses next round… all of you will beat him… OK, not all – but… it isn’t going to be pretty… Chris has clawed his way OUT of miserable last and is replaced by Peter… are you ready to rumble???

Player	Round Four	Champion	Finalist	Point LEFT
Kresimir	148	Osaka	Azarenka	Osaka – Champ (60) Serena – Semi (10) Azarenka – Final (30)
Rob	145	Osaka	Serena	Osaka – Champ (60) Serena – Final (30)
Russ	141	Serena	Kvitova	Serena – Champ (60) Azarenka – Semi (10)
Eric	130	Serena	Osaka	Osaka – Final (30) Serena – Champ (60)
Nancy	126	Serena	Osaka	Osaka – Final (30) Serena – Champ (60)
Kurac Bega	125	Pliskova	Kenin	Osaka – Semi (10) Serena – Semi (10)
Kotonias	124	Serena	Pliskova	Serena – Champ (60)
Chris	124	Osaka	Serena	Osaka – Champ (60) Serena – Final (30)
Peter	120	Osaka	Kenin	Osaka – Champ (60) Serena – Semi (10)

For the men’s draw – Rob is still leading the pack and again even though Felicia is out… there is only one person who can get 60 points at the end… Kresimir… but, is that enough to put him over the top??? please note that Eric has joined Kresimir in miserable last… and that may be where he ends up… but, maybe not… SO many options now… and who of YOU will win this bracket??? yes, hopefully you… This is all primarily based on how well Thiem or Medvedev do at this point… so, Game ON!!!

Player	Round Four	Champion	Finalist	Point LEFT
Rob	146	Djokovic	Medvedev	Medvedev – Final (30) – Thiem – Semi (10)
Peter	134	Djokovic	Medvedev	Medvedev – Final (30) – Thiem – Semi (10)
Russ	133	Djokovic	Thiem	Medvedev – Semi (10) – Thiem – Final (30)
Nancy	130	Djokovic	Thiem	Zverev – Semi (10) – Medvedev – Semi (10)- Thiem – Final (30)
Chris	127	Djokovic	Medvedev	Zverev – Semi (10) – Medvedev – Final (30) – Thiem – Semi (10)
Kurac Bega	124	Djokovic	Thiem	Medvedev – Semi (10) – Thiem – Final (30)
Kotonias	119	Tsitsipas	Thiem	Medvedev – Semi (10) – Thiem – Final (30)
Eric	118	Djokovic	Medvedev	Medvedev – Final (30)- Thiem – Semi (10)
Kresimir	118	Medvedev	Djokovic	Medvedev – Champ (60)

And there it is… so few days left in the tournament… EEEK!!! excited about tomorrow??? I am… May the odds be ever in your favor… you’re going to need them…

The Commish!

Impossible is for the unwilling…

SEPTEMBER 7, 2020

I don’t even know what or how to write words at the moment… this was a day of ABSOLUTE craziness… I am sure most, if not all of you would agree… I mean… let’s just deal with the major “upset” of the day… #1 Djokovic is out of the tournament… not by playing but by actions taken between points… Carreno Busta just broke Djokovic after a small break in play due to Djokovic getting a bit of a rub down from the trainer and after he got broke, he pulled the ball out of his pocket and flicked it behind him… The ball struck the line judge in the throat… yes, he was frustrated, but the rule is the rule… you cannot do that… apparently the line judge is alright… a bruise on her neck, but will recover… Djokovic pled his case, was defaulted for the action… he also loses all points and prize money he has made in the tournament and also has to pay a fine of $10,000.00 – not cute…. again, there was no malice, it was an unfortunate circumstance where the ball he hit (Not looking) happened to hit a person… so, Carreno Busta through… enough said… he will face Shapovalov who took down #7 Goffin in four sets… 6-7(0), 6-3, 6-4, 6-3 and done… Coric didn’t need much time to take out Aussie Thompson 7-5, 6-1, 6-3 and Zverev was done quickly 6-2, 6-2, 6-1… so… we shall see… what brings us tomorrow… because, a new men’s champion will be named at the end of this tournament… This is SO good for tennis…

Brady started her day off well with a win over #17 Kerber… 6-1, 6-4 and a quick, cya later Germany… Brady came out of the starting block smacking winners from all sides… even when things were getting a bit down, she just picked up her game again and again… that was a beautiful win by the American… Putintseva over #8 Martic, 6-3, 2-6, 6-4… this little Kazakh is seriously so fast around the court… she was at one corner hitting the ball and then all of a sudden she was chasing down a drop shot at the other corner FOR A WINNER!!! stupid and amazing all at the same time… seriously beautiful tennis… and a well deserved win!!! Osaka didn’t take much time to smack #14 Kontaveit off the Court in her 6-3, 6-4 victory… The score line seems better than it was… bing bang boom… Rogers had a TOUGH match against #6 Kvitova… but she was up for the challenge and fought off 4 match points and cleared out the win on her first match point… 7-6(5), 3-6), 7-6(6)… that was tough match of really high quality tennis… something your mother would be proud of… 3 previous grand slam tennis champions out in the Round of 16 and what will happen tomorrow??? only tomorrow knows… well that and your future self…

Now for you… well – the men’s is set up nicely for everyone… I mean… the only one left with a Champion left is Kresimir and he is miserable last… so that is going to go well for him… Rob is still leading… yay for him… see yesterday’s post about how amazing he is… YAWN… anyway, this is what you all have left after today… and well, tomorrow it may all change…

Player	Round Four	Point LEFT
Rob	131	Rublev – Quarter – Medvedev – Final – Thiem – Semi
Peter	124	Berrettini – Quarter – Medvedev – Final – Thiem – Semi
Nancy	120	Zverev – Semi – Berrettini – Quarter – Medvedev – Semi – Thiem – Final
Kurac Bega	114	Berrettini – Quarter – Medvedev – Semi – Thiem – Final
Russ	118	Rublev – Quarter – Medvedev – Semi – Thiem – Final
Chris	112	Zverev – Semi – Rublev – Quarter – Medvedev – Final – Thiem – Semi
Kotonias	109	Berrettini – Quarter – Medvedev – Semi – Thiem – Final
Eric	108	Berrettini – Quarter – Medvedev – Final – Thiem – Semi
Kresimir	103	Rublev – Quarter – Medvedev – Champ – Thiem – Quarter

The lady side of things have changed, just a bit… Rob has been unseated by Kresimir to take the lead… the Putintseva win over Martic and Kvitova losing sealed that fate… sorry about it… eh, no I am not… THOSE apples taste delicious… but, so many options can change on a dime… Chris, you are still in miserable last… but, you are the ONLY person with Mertens on your side, and she looks pretty good so far… good pick… I see a LOT of Kenin (possible Mertens upset) and Serena (Sakkari beat her last week) and Osaka (lost to Rogers EVERY time they have played 0-3); a smattering of Azarenka and well she’s looking good… but will have a dog fight against Muchova, who also looks awesome!!! anyone’s game… believe me, I have been chasing down that elf on the shelf for YEARS… MUAH!!!

Player	Round Four	Point LEFT
Kresimir	129	Osaka – Champ – Serena – Semi – Azarenka – Final
Rob	126	Osaka – Champ – Serena – Final – Azarenka – Quarter – Kenin – Semi
Russ	122	Serena – Champ – Azarenka – Semi – Kenin – Quarter
Eric	119	Osaka – Final – Serena – Champ – Kenin – Semi
Kotonias	116	Serena – Champ – Kenin – Quarter
Peter	115	Osaka – Champ – Serena Semi – Kenin – Final
Nancy	115	Osaka – Final – Serena – Champ – Kenin – Semi
Kurac Bega	114	Osaka – Semi – Serena – Semi – Kenin – Final
Chris	114	Osaka – Champ – Serena – Final – Mertens – Quarter

So, that is the end of today’s report… so much excitement and trouble brewing… new men’s champion no matter what… 4 Lady Champions left in the draw… yep… it’s ON!!!

The Commish!

Fall seven times… stand up eight…

SEPTEMBER 6, 2020

This seems to be more of a theme of the world than we currently know… These players are out there giving it all for the people at HOME… well, and a paycheck… The third round paid out $163,000.00 and those who made the fourth have a quarter of a million dollars to spend… so, not a bad week at the office…

Most of the men cruised on the bottom half… we had 2 five set matches and a four – all the rest, straight set victories… Auger-Allassime is through quickly… 6-1, 6-0(BAGEL), 6-4 over Moutet of France… Medvedev over Wolf of the USA 6-3, 6-3, 6-2 – The Russian put down 33 winners and 10 unforced errors – I believe he had 2 in the first set… compared to Wolf’s 41… that makes a difference… and Tiafoe over Fucsovics of Hungary… 6-2, 6-3, 6-2 – that was a cute match… at one moment in the second set, they were exchanging drop shots with crazy angles and Fucsovics hit a winner around the net post… amazing shot and Tiafoe couldn’t stop laughing… seriously… it was ridiculous… it didn’t help in the match though.. 6-2, 6-3 , 6-2 to the American.. Rublev was done in time to eat lunch and I think he started at 11 am… 6-0(BAGEL), 6-4, 6-0(DOUBLE-UP BAGEL)…. 1 hour and 24 minute match… and well, that was fun… Caruso of Italy is going home… Berrettini of Italy shoved off #30 Ruud of Norway… 6-4, 6-4, 6-2… I did learn a bit of a story though… When I went to the US Open last year there was this one guy who just didn’t fit with the rest of Berrettini’s player box… apparently it was the owner of an Italian Restaurant just near the tennis center… He was outside the fence screaming and yelling in support of Berrettini… Both Rob and myself commented on him last year and well, now he is in the news… crazy… Thiem took down #31 Cilic and it was 6-2, 6-2, 3-6, 6-3, I didn’t know if Cilic would ever wake up – but he did in that third set… third and fourth sets were the only thing worth watching… Five Setters – de Minaur over #11 Khachanov 6-4, 0-6(BAGEL), 4-6, 6-3, 6-1 and buy to that Russian back to the Kremlin with you… Pospisil, after taking out Raonic sent #8 Bautista Agut packing 7-5, 2-6, 4-6, 6-3, 6-2 – that isn’t an easy task… and that is how the men fell on you… I mean… in the tournament

So, what do you have??? such an amazing question… Points and WHO you have LEFT moving forward from the fourth round… This is who you have winning this next round, unless they are out of the tournament… no one has 8 – PLEASE note his majesty Rob… it would appear that not everyone has bowed down to his royal-ness… so, I will pen an amazing letter I have written to him below… as a post script – please, do not miss it…

Player	Round Three	Round of 16 WINNER or FURTHER
Rob	121	Djokovic/ Shapovalov/ Zverev/ Rublev/ Medvedev/ Thiem
Peter	114	Djokovic/ Shapovalov/ Zverev/ Berrettini/ Medvedev/ Thiem
Nancy	110	Djokovic/ Shapovalov/ Zverev/ Berrettini/ Medvedev/ Thiem
Kurac Bega	109	Djokovic/ Goffin/ Zverev/ Berrettini/ Medvedev/ Thiem
Russ	108	Djokovic/ Shapovalov/ Zverev/ Rublev/ Medvedev/ Thiem
Chris	107	Djokovic/ Zverev/ Rublev/ Medvedev/ Thiem
Kotonias	104	Djokovic/ Goffin/ Zverev/ Berrettini/ Medvedev/ Thiem
Eric	103	Djokovic/ Goffin/ Zverev/ Berrettini/ Medvedev/ Thiem
Kresimir	98	Djokovic/ Zverev/ Rublev/ Medvedev/ Thiem

There were a total of four three set matches in the third round… every other match was a straight set victory… two yesterday and two today… #27 Jabeur is a casualty on Saturday night to Kenin 7-6(4), 6-3, why is this little girl so angry??? lady kresimir… maybe that is a good nickname for her… Mertens takes out McNally of the USA 7-5, 6-1… Azarenka (MOMMA) takes off the Polish Teen, Swiatek 6-4, 6-2… Sakkari over #22 Anisomova 6-3, 6-1… Pironkova (MOMMA) over #18 Vekic, 6-4, 6-1… Cornet (Kor-NET) allegedly from the dialect she is from??? 7-6(4), 3-2 RETIRED over #7 Keys of the USA… Muchova needed all three to take down Cirstea of Romania 6-3, 2-6, 7-6(7) – nice fight!!! and Serena needed some time to warm up against #26 Stephens… 2-6, 6-2, 6-2 – I don’t know… it was the strangest match… one pulled up and the other watched and then they switched places… not a bad match, but not too exciting…

Now you have picks and where do you stand… same rules as up above… who do you have moving on further??? Obviously, we are all in awe of Rob’s amazing awesomeness… how do we ever compare…

Player	Round Three	Round of 16 WINNER or FURTHER
Rob	120	Martic/Osaka/Kvitova/Serena/Azarenka/Kenin
Kresimir	116	Putintseva/Osaka/Serena/Azarenka
Russ	116	Osaka/Kvitova/Serena/Azarenka/Kenin
Eric	113	Martic/Osaka/Kvitova/Serena/Kenin
Peter	110	Kerber/Osaka/Kvitova/Serena/Kenin
Nancy	109	Martic/Osaka/Kvitova/Serena/Kenin
Kurac Bega	108	Martic/Osaka/Kvitova/Serena/Kenin
Chris	108	Martic/Osaka/Kvitova/Serena/Mertens
Kotonias	107	Putintseva/Kvitova/Serena/Kenin

and there you have it – we are almost half way through  so sad… remember, the French Open is just around the corner!!!

The Commish!

PS – To Rob

Oh, Buddah, how lucky we are to have met you. Now all of the sufferings and heart-aches make sense – those had to be survived in order to get the best prize that is out there – YOU.

Ever since we met, it has felt like the movies. Sometimes we do not understand where you came from so suddenly in our lives. There’s this saying that “good things take time” and you make us believe in such miracles.

Whenever we think about you, even now, we catch ourselves smiling. You don’t make us feel butterflies, but an entire Zoo in our stomachs.

You are the best person we know. You have such faith in us. Sometimes we think that you see us as better people than we are, but we really do wish to believe that it is true.

You make us smile. Ohhh, you do. And we love that we can be all serious when it’s necessary and at the same time, we can laugh like children about the most ridiculous things that come to our minds.

You made us understand what real love is and we love so much! We had no idea that we could feel such things before we met you. We had no idea that one person could care so deeply for our fears, happiness, smaller and bigger achievements.

In a way you make us want to be better people. At the same time – you make us feel special.

You take such good care of us and you make us feel safe. With you we have a home and we do not care if we have to live in a shared apartment with other people, as long as we can be with you.

We remember wishing time did not past so fast. Sometimes it felt cruel to us: having you for a couple of days, which seemed like a couple of hours or even minutes.

And the tears and hear-ache that we felt when we had to say our “goodbyes” & “see you next time” at the airports. The part when one of us had to turn around and go towards the plane while the other one had to exit the airport.

We are so happy that it’s in the past now. And now we get to spend every night with you when we go to sleep, and then in the morning you are the very first thing we see beside us when we wake up.

You are our sunshine. Our best friend. Our hero and our biggest support. Our greatest gift. And we ALL love you so much. Thank you for being with us and allowing us to bask in your glorious rays!

OK – now I am going to go vomit in a bag and drink it… just so I can feel better about myself… 

If you work… It will work…

SEPTEMBER 5, 2020

Ok… well you know your points bitches… so I am just here to lay DOWN the scores for your future self… maybe you’ll make better picks next time, Kresimir…

Djokovic is towing the line and taking names… likely 7 of them… hopefully six and then someone… hmmm… who could it be… takes HIS… but for now… the world number one takes down #28 Struff…. 6-3, 6-3, 6-1… and sets us a fourth round match against Carreno Busta how defeated Berankis of Lithuania 6-4, 6-3, 6-2… well they should both be well rested… Shapovalov is through over #19 Fritz… it was a five set match and he pushed the American around in the fifth… 3-6, 6-3, 6-4, 7-6(5), 6-2… and as the seeds continue to collide… we will see what happens… Goffin over shines on #26 Krajinovic…6-1, 7-6(5), 6-4… I really wanted to see Krajinovic take down Djokovic – or at least push him… well… maybe next time… Thompson of Australia over Kukushkin… wow… 7-5, 6-4, 6-1… Davidovich Fokina over Norrie of the UK in four sets… 7-6(2), 4-6, 6-2, 6-1… Zverev over #32 Mannarino 6-7(4), 6-4, 6-2, 6-2… and last… wow… what a match… so many balls… one single-handed back hand and one double-handed… and #4 Tsitsipas is taken down by Coric of Croatia… in a nail biting five set match which was 3 minutes shy of the Murray first round match… 4 hours and 36 minutes… mouth agape… didn’t see that happening… but it makes the sport EXCITING… 6-7(2), 6-4, 4-6, 7-5, 7-6(4) and Croatia is through… I mean Coric… I don’t get the impression that these two are going to be best friends… like EVER…

Lady side… Brady took down Garcia of France who had knocked off #1 Pliskova in the previous round… this was a double 6-3 match… clean, clear and crisp… like an apple… take a bite… Kerber didn’t need long to take out Li of the USA 6-3, 6-4… and then the struggle is real… Putintseva needed three sets to take down Sasnovich of Belorussia, 3-6, 6-2, 6-1… that is quite a turn around… Martic over Gracheva of Russia in double 6-3s… she was the first through to the fourth round… good for her… and that top half is looking good for anyone to make that semifinal spot… Osaka in the same boat… three sets to move on 6-3, 6-7(4), 6-2 over Kostyuk… it was a bit of a test and there are these moments where Osaka just looked lacking in energy… and oh, so angry… get over it… play better!!! Rogers punches her fourth round ticket in a victory over Brengle of the USA… 6-2, 6-4 – but with an eight mile an hour first serve… I still don’t get how she got to the third round… she’s not super crafty or jumping in at the net… maybe just consistency… get one more ball back… shocking… but, she’s out… Kvitova looked tired at the end of her match… but she gets through in straight sets 6-4, 6-3 over Pegula…

There you are… into the round of 16 on both sides and now we have SO many matches to be excited about… SQUEE!!! Enjoy your Saturday!!!

The Commish!

Blessed Mess…

SEPTEMBER 5, 2020

OK – so, I am just going to put down where you all stand at the end of Round two and where you are currently in Round three – It was a VERY good day of tennis, but I am tired… and I wanna got to BED!!!

LADY’S DRAW

Player	Round Two	Round Three
Rob	93	105
Kresimir	92	104
Russ	86	101
Peter	86	98
Eric	86	98
Kotonias	84	96
Nancy	82	94
Kurac Bega	81	93
Chris	78	93

MEN’S DRAW

Player	Round Two	Round Three
Rob	91	103
Peter	87	99
Russ	84	96
Nancy	83	95
Kurac Bega	82	94
Kotonias	83	92
Chris	83	92
Eric	76	88
Kresimir	77	86

Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will…

SEPTEMBER 4, 2020

rain… oh my lord the rain… sing it GAGA!!! well there are some matches left on the court… so, we wait… but I am still going to put down some words… Keys is THROUGH to round number THREE!!! nicely done in a 6-2, 6-1 victory over Bolsova of Spain… Cornet over Bonaventure of Belgium 7-6(4), 6-3 and Vekic after matches Keys score over Tig of Romania… 6-2, 6-1 – if you’re not paying attention… here’s the kicker of the women’s draw… Pironkova from Bulgaria, a new mother and grass court game of the godesses… yes, she is a GREEN Goddess!!!! remember that dressing??? delicious… over #10 Muguruza 7-5, 6-3… not sure what happened, I went to change the channel to see how it was going and the court was empty… EEK… Sakkari took 3 sets to dispatch Pera of the USA 2-6, 6-3, 6-2… Anisimova also needed three sets.. she looked a bit irritated at life in the first set… but a 4-6, 6-4, 6-1 victory over Scott of the USA… wait… Sloane… AGAIN a winner??? what hahahappen was… nicely done in double 6-2s over Govortsova… and she will meet on Saturday Miss Williams who is also a straight set winner over Gasparyan of Russia… 6-2, 6-4.. a couple of hiccups… but, through… AZARENKA WINS!!! over #5 Sabalenka in 6-1, 6-3 bam double BAM!!! She will await the winner of the Vickery/Swiatek match… no seed there, thank you ma’am… Muchova through also in straight sets over Kalinskaya of Russia 6-3, 7-6(4)… #9 Konta bows out today to Romanian player Cirstea… 2-6, 7-6(5), 6-4… Mertens/Sorribes Tormo will finish tomorrow as well as McNally/ALexandrova… Jabeur over Kanepi of Estonia… I thought it was going to be a tighter match… Kanepi hits the ball well… but slice and dice’em Tunisian took her DOWN 7-6(8), 6-0(BAGEL)… Kenin is still in it after her win over 17 year old Fernandez of Canada… I am EXCITED to see this one get into the tour… GREAT ball striker… GREAT tennis brain… she’s one to WATCH!!!

I do have some sad news… although I knew about this a couple of days ago, I do have to let y’all know that Ms. Suarez-Navarro has been diagnosed with Hodgkin Lymphoma… she was and IS an amazing asset to the world… she had one of the best one handed back hands on the ladies side and she is so young… 32 years old today, September 3rd… This was to be her final year on the tour… finishing at the US Open, but this year wasn’t kind to anyone, especially her… many of the people who have played bracket have selected her deep into the tournament and she never disappointed… win or lose she always smiled and gave well wishes… GO Miss Suarez Navarro… FIGHT Miss Suarez Navarro and WIN!!!

so… the men… what can we say about THEM… I am sure a lot!!! so, Italian stallion Berrettini took down the very humble Humbert… I guess I will call him humble… or maybe Ego Humbert… ooooh, I like it… don’t do a Djokovic… even after you DO win your first Grand Slam Tournament… but… not today satan… not today…  6-4, 6-4, 7-6(6) and you’re out… Casper wins… not the ghost… Ruud… and no, not RUDE… is through from NORWAY… 6-4, 6-3 and was up 3-2 when the Finnish player Ruusuvuori retired… sucks… Caruso of Italy over Escobedo of the USA… right… Escobedo replaced Paire who tested positive for the coronavirus and was removed from the premises… collar down… 3-6, 6-4, 6-3, 6-4… Rublev over Barrere 6-2, 6-4, 7-6(4)… #14 Dimirov is OUT… the Hungarian Fucsovic takes a win in five 6-4(5), 7-6(4), 3-6, 6-4, 6-1 and the Bulgarian is gone… Tiafoe has an AMAZING win over Australia’s Millman in five sets 7-6(6), 3-6, 1-6, 6-3, 6-3… that was a SLUG Fest… good for YOU TIAFOE!!! Wolf over Carballes Baena 6-2, 6-4, 6-3… interesting and now the Wolf will play the Bear… Medvedev over O’Connell of Australia 6-3, 6-2, 6-4… cya and bye bye… Bautista Agut moves on over Kecmanovic in four sets… 6-3, 3-6, 6-3, 6-4… A Canadian Mountie walks into a bar… and Pospisil walks away a winner over #25 Raonic… wow… that is a SHOCKER… Roanic took the first set 7-6(1) and then Pospisil took him to town… 6-3, 7-6(4), 6-3… sigh… de Minaur took down the Frenchie Gasquet in four sets… 6-4, 6-3, 6-7(6), 7-5… au revoir mon amie…  Khachanov over Kuznetsov… well… that was quick… 6-3, 6-4, 6-1… the F.A-A takes down Murray in straight sets… I was actually surprised that Murray showed up today… 6-2, 6-3, 6-4 loss for the Scottish player… but, no shame in your game man… keep your head up… see you later alligator… Moutet/Evans is still going… I see a frog and a roast beef walk into a bar… only one will walk out… tomorrow… Cilic over Gombos 6-3, 1-6, 7-6(2), 7-5… and lastly Thiem over Nagal… no, it is spelled correctly… Thiem took down the man from India 6-3, 6-3, 6-2 dispatched…

For now, these are the standings for the Ladies… and yes, I hear you crowing like peter fucking pan… dancing around like a little elf… CRISTINA BRING ME THE AXE!!! yes, Robert… you are in first place… we are all so very proud of you… but Kresimir is only one point behind… Chris… you are in miserable last… still… there is always hope…  and with an Osaka Champion, you will move on up… at least to not miserable last…

Player	Round Two	Semi Finalists	Quarterfinalist
Rob	87	/Kenin	Martic/Kvitova/Vekic/Azarenka
Kresimir	86	/Serena	Putinseva//Keys/Jabeur
Peter	81	Kerber/Serena	/Kvitova/Keys/
Eric	80	/Kenin	Martic/Kvitova/Keys/
Russ	79	/Azarenka	/Osaka/Keys/Kenin
Kotonias	78	/Sabalenka	Putinseva/Kvitova/Keys/Kenin
Nancy	76	/Kenin	Martic/Kvitova/Keys/
Kurac Bega	75	Osaka/Serena	Martic/Kvitova/Keys/
Chris	71	/	Martic/Kvitova/Keys/Kenin

For the men’s side of the draw… fucking hell… look who it is… elf on a shelf… or at least where he’s going to be if I hear one more, I am AWESOME… I will say they did knock off Ruud in the bracket, so hopefully that will be fixed and some of you will get two more points… unfortunately, Rob will also get two points… so, you’re not beating him YET… Eric you are in miserable last… and Kresimir is just out of reach… for now… Kresimir is the ONLY person who has lost a semifinalist… WTF… ugh… THIS IS RIGGED!!!

Player	Round Two	Semifinalists	Quarterfinalist
Rob	89	Tsitsipas/Thiem	Shapovalov/Zverev/Rublev/Khachanov
Peter	85	Tsitsipas/Thiem	Shapovalov/Zverev/Berrettini/Bautista Agut
Russ	82	Tsitsipas/Medvedev	Shapalov/Zverev/Rublev/Khachanov
Kotonias	81	Djokovic/Medvedev	Goffin/Zverev/Berrettini/Khachanov
Chris	81	Zverev/Thiem	Fritz/Tsitsipas/Rublev/Khachanov
Nancy	81	Zverev/Medvedev	Shapalov/Tsitsipas/Berrettini/Bautista Agut
Kurac Bega	80	Tsitsipas/Medvedev	Goffin/Zverev/Berrettini/Bautista Agut
Kresimir	77	Tsitsipas/	Krajinovic/Zverev/Rublev/Thiem
Eric	74	Tsitsipas/Thiem	Goffin/Zverev/Berrettini/Khachanov

OK kids… I am off to bed… I will post updated score tomorrow once the three unfinished matches are complete…  I hope you all have an AMAZING Friday and catch you flipping on the other side…

The Commish!

John Isner is a Racist…

SEPTEMBER 3, 2020

Ok… so maybe that statement isn’t completely true… but the white privilege is just too much… make your statements however you like… but, remember to keep yourself open to criticism #josh… I think I was most surprised he was a supporter of the orange crap pot in the house of “white-ness”… gross… I guess I am opening my eyes to these people and their platform and why it is SO important to be on the correct side of herstory (he has been talking TOO long)…. you cannot defend a “friend” in Sandgren stating he is a “good guy” when he associates himself with alt-right people and makes comments about going to a gay club and it “making his eyes bleed” – why were you there??? Trying to get your * filled… what a crackpot… just stay quiet… if you are not contributing to the world and making it better, then shut the fuck up… I am of the belief that if you don’t believe in abortion, don’t have one… if you don’t think gays should marry then don’t marry someone of the same sex… guess what, I am not going to judge you… so don’t JUDGE ME… I am further disappointed in how a predominately white sport doesn’t see their privilege and know , ALL white people should stand back and listen to the experiences of people who walk this world who are NOT white… listen… hear and understand that the United States was built on the backs of people of color… Tennis is an expensive sport and one needs money for success, especially to make it to the top of the game… Venus, Serena, Francis, Sloane, Madison, Taylor, and SO many more have fought hand tooth and nail for every moment they have ESPECIALLY TAYLOR… my GOD that girl works hard and fights for EVERY point!!!  (BTW… she won her doubles match with Muhammad over Mattek-Sands and Zhang)… anyway… Sorry for the rant… but I am just so over people #blacklivesmatter – period… end of sentence…

OK tennis today… Let’s begin with the boys… Djokovic had a VERY long match today… I think it was about three and a half hours… so likely he is super happy… but his win took out The UKs Edmund 6-7(5), 6-3, 6-4, 6-2… meh… next round… ok, I didn’t see the match… too many other good ones out there… Struff over Mmoh in straight sets and sets up a third round clash with the #1, 6-2, 6-2, 7-5… Carreno Busta over Kreuger 6-1, 6-2, 6-2… Berankis over Johnson of the USA.. 7-5, 6-2, 1-6, 7-6(1)… hmmm… that was a long match over #josh two days previous… so… likely that was a factor… Shapovalov over Kwon in four sets.. The Korean won the first set 7-6(5) and BOY was the Canadian mad… 6-4, 6-4, 6-2 to finish it off… it was a very Youzhny reaction… Fritz over Simon… wow… 7-5, 6-3, 6-2… that was quick!!! Krajinovic also made quick work of his American competitor, Giron in a 6-4, 6-1, 6-3 straight set win… this feels a bit more like the first round… Goffin needed four over Harris of South Africa… 7-6(6), 4-6, 6-1, 6-4 for the Belgian to get through… where’s my WAFFLE?!?!?! just kidding… don’t eat that… Tsitsipas over Cressy of the USA… not a good day for American boys… 7-6(2), 6-3, 6-4 and done… and he will taken on Coric who beat Londero in five sets… 7-5, 4-6, 6-7(5). 6-2, 6-3 for him to meet the FLY… Thompson and his mustache move forward after his win over Gerasimov 6-1, 6-4, 3-6, 6-3… Kukushkni over #13 Garin… now, to be fair… Garin is a CLAY Master… he is VERY good.. remember him now… I will say I told you so… 6-2, 6-1, 3-6, 4-6, 7-5… Norrie of the Great Britain has a win over Coria of Argentina… 6-3 and double 6-4s… #24 Hurkacz is out to Davidovich Fokina in four sets… ok.. not a CRAZY upset… but, still an upset… 6-4, 1-6, 6-2, 6-2 to the Spaniard… Mannarino in stright sets over Sock… and Zverev is getting some rhythm in a four set win over American Nakashima 7-5, 6-7(8), 6-3, 6-1… some of these boys just don’t have the stamina to last five… yet…

and for you… how are YOU doing??? some well… some eh, not so well… EEK!!!  LOOK at them apples… semi-finalists are now properly revealed for your viewing pleasure… Eric is still in miserable last… but, as for some of us who have been there… there is only one way to go… and PETER… are you ready to fall??? At the top!!! for now… oh, I see that wry smile…

Player	Round Two	Champion	Finalist	Semi Finalists
Peter	71	Djokovic	Medvedev	Tsitsipas/Thiem
Rob	69	Djokovic	Medvedev	Tsitsipas/Thiem
Russ	66	Djokovic	Thiem	Tsitsipas/Medvedev
Kotonias	65	Tsitsipas	Thiem	Djokovic/Medvedev
Chris	65	Djokovic	Medvedev	Zverev/Thiem
Nancy	63	Djokovic	Thiem	Zverev/Medvedev
Kurac Bega	62	Djokovic	Thiem	Tsitsipas/Medvedev
Kresimir	61	Medvedev	Djokovic	Tsitsipas/Raonic
Eric	58	Djokovic	Medvedev	Tsitsipas/Thiem

So many upsets of the seeds today… so THIS is going to be FUN and all y’all are going to cry… get that Kleenex…  OH Lady!!! what happened here??? #1 Pliskova is OUT of the tournament.. losing to Garcia of France… wow… she is like Sloane and not had a good couple of years… but she served SO well and kept the ball away from the Czech Player… wow… good for YOU… 6-1, 7-6(2)… bye!!! Brady over Bellis 6-1, 6-2… I think it was 51 minutes… EEK!!! that sucks… shortest match of the tournament!!! Kerber looked good against a VERY good German Friedsam 6-3, 7-6(6)… that was a BATTLE… nicely done Frau Kerber… #13 is out on the lady side also… Riske of the USA lost to Li of the USA 6-0(BAGEL), 6-3… I am a bit shocked at the scoreline… but Li hits a VERY good ball and has minimal errors… Sasnovich over #12 Vondrousova quickly… 6-1, 6-2… Putintseva over Lapko in double 6-3s… #30 Mladenovic is OUT of the torunament to Gracheva 1-6, 7-6(2), 6-0(BAGEL)… put some CREAM CHEESE on it… YUM!!! Martic over Bondarenko 6-3, 6-4… Osaka over Giorgi 6-1, 6-2… you never know who you are going to get with Camilla, but one thing is for sure… it is full strike… all the time… 24 unforced errors to 11 by Osaka and there you have your game… #31 Sevastova out to Kostyuk in two sets… 6-3, 7-6(5)… oh well… I wonder if Gauff would have won??? eh, I guess we will never know… Linette the MOM over Kovnic in 6-1, 6-7(2), 7-6(4)… good on you mother!!! Kontaveit over Juvan 6-4, 6-1… Rogers over #11 Rybakina 7-5, 6-1… I am not sure I see why she is #11 yet… I will have to watch some more… interesting… Shelby beat Serena at the Lexington Tournament a couple of weeks back… so, I know she has some game… but, she is better on the clay… keep it going and we’ll see if you can get seeded for the French!!!  #19 Yastremska is out to Brengle… now, this is ridiculous… she serves at 80 mph… yes first serve… huh??? how do you not just pound that ball??? 6-2, 6-3 for the American… Pegula over Flipkens in three 7-6(1), 6-7(3), 6-3 to the American… Kvitova stayed off Kozlova of the Ukraine in straight sets 7-6(3), 6-2 and that is what happened at the open TODAY!!! ouch… what a beating the seeds took…

Now, what about you… Rob is STILL leading the ladies… I see the horse he is riding… oh, it’s Milow the puggle… yes, not a good look, I agree… but, the field isn’t far behind… well we have a tie for last… Chris and Dik… and well…  a bit of Kurac is always good for a facial… oh, out loud voice #sorrynotsorry… anyone who is already OUT is  Everyone needs a bit of cancel culture… so YOU’RE OUT!!!

Player	Round Two	Champion	Finalist	Semi Finalists
Rob	67	Osaka	Serena	/Kenin
Eric	66	Serena	Osaka	/Kenin
Kresimir	66	Osaka	Azarenka	/Serena
Peter	63	Osaka	Kenin	Kerber/Serena
Nancy	62	Serena	Osaka	/Kenin
Russ	61	Serena	Kvitova	/Azarenka
Kotonias	60	Serena		/Sabalenka
Chris	57	Osaka	Serena	/Sabalenka
Kurac Bega	57		Kenin	Osaka/Serena

Tomorrow, one Belorussian will be out…  who will it be??? Aza or Saba – are you ready to RUMBLE??? Chris and Kotonias will be out BOTH semifinalists or Kresimir and Russ will lose a Finalist/Semifinalist… yes, in that order… no pressure… none at all…

GO VICTORIA!!!

Type at you tomorrow kids!!!

The Commish!

Don’t just exist… live…

SEPTEMBER 2, 2020

what can one possibly say about today??? EVERYTHING!!! It’s tennis bitches!!! super fun… what a great day of tennis and so let’s just dive in… oooh… look at the bottom of the lady draw and we have the Aussie Open Champion in Kenin and the second seed… GREAT win over Wickmayer of Belgium… she is a crafty player and although I didn’t see this match I was so impressed with the scoreline and Renee Stubbs said it was a LOT closer than the score line of double 6-2s… and in her next round she will see Fernandez of Canada who took out my magnetic friend Zvonareva… I love her… so sad… back to the bear for you… 6-4, 7-5… Kanepi over Siniakova quick and dirty people… wow… Kanepi is a player who is ALL IN on EVERY SHOT… 6-1, 6-2 over a very good player… Jabeur is through over Kawa of Poland… I also like this chick… she is like Barty… a lot of finesse on her shots and moves the ball around the court giving all players no rhythm… 6-2, 7-6(6)… NO!!! NOT MY KIMMY!!! alright… Clijsters made her come back debut and took the first set over Alexandrova 6-3, then a tight second set 7-5 to the Russian and 6-1 in the third… the number 21 moves on… McNally over Kuzmova… 6-1, 6-1 – this winner is Coco’s good friend and doubles partner… usually Coco is the one still in singles, but this time it is Catherine… Sorribes Tormo over Lieu of the US of A… 6-2, 6-4… Mertens didn’t take long in her victory over Siegemund… and a double 6-2 scoreline shows that clearly… Cristea over McHale… this is a surprise and not a surprise… Cristea of Romania is such a good player and she is very good day, bad day… today was good… 6-4, 7-5 battle… Konta over Watson both from the UK… 7-6(7), 6-1… first set was SO good… and then… meh… Kalinskaya over Stojanovic 6-3, 6-4… more about them I am sure in the future… I think they are super young and something to look forward to :)… Venus… you are forty and FABULOUS!!! damn girl… this is her first round loss at the US Open in 22 tries… I think that deserves SOMETHING… she lost to Muchova, who is SUPER cute and SO respectful… I appreciate the youth when they know they are around greatness!!! 6-3, 7-5 win for the Czech Player… #29 Kudermetova can say good bye with her loss to Swiatek in double 6-3s… that’s not embarassing… not at all… PRECIOUS!!! my precious… is out… 6-2, 6-4 loss to Vickery of the USA… oh well… there is always next year… I love the serve and volley… Azarenka over Haas 6-2, 6-2… and now she has to play against her fellow Belorussian… Sabalenka who knocked out a very good ball striker in Dodin… 7-6(1), 6-4… I thought the ball was going to explode… Serena took out Ahn of the USA 7-5, 6-3… in the second set when Ahn was up a break.. .I thought oh lawd… here we go again… but, Serena took it up.. and moves on… Gasparyan over Puig… 6-3, 6-1(0), 6-0 (BAGEL)… Govortsova over Muhammad… Asia has a great game… but not enough in a 6-1, 6-2 defeat to the Belorussian… so many these days… I love it!!! Stephens has her first match victory in I don’t know… since she won the US Open in 1963… no… ok but, it has been a WHILE.. seriously… where you been girl??? I missed you on the winner’s side… welcome home… 6-3, 6-3 over Buzarnescu of Romania… Anisimova took double 7-5s to take out Tomova of Bulgaria… but she did it… Scott of the USA takes down the Russian Vikhlyanteeseva… 7-6(2), 6-2… BAM and another American through with Pera over Diyas… that is a TOUGH match up but 7-6(4), 6-0 (BAGEL) to the American… Sakkari took three sets to win her match against Voegele of Switzerland… 6-3, 3-6, 7-5… ouch that one is going to HURT!!! Muguruza in straight sets over Hibino of Japan 6-4, 6-4… Pironkova… I LOVE Pironkova… she has an amazing grass court game… and I just found out where she’s been… baby maker… uh huh… another one… good for you and you have a match win at the US Open to add to your world… congrats and welcome back!!! Vekic over Pliskova in three sets… this was the last lady match of the night… these ladies worked it OVERTIME!!! 3-6, 7-6(6), 6-4 to the Croat… and Wawrinka’s lady… well… maybe… she is here… he is not… interesting… love on the rocks.. ain’t no surprise… just pour me a drink and tell me some lies… Tig over Nara… maybe the fastest match of the day for the women??? 6-1, 6-0 (BAGEL)… 58 minutes.. mark it… #25 Zhang out to Bonaventure of Belgium… wow… there are a lot of Lady Bs in the draw… coolio… 4-6, 6-3, 6-2… Cornet over Davis 6-3. 1-6, 6-0 (BAGEL) and off to the races for the Frenchie… Bolsova over Teichmann (a dark horse according to the idiots who talk too much… Kresimir had her through to the quarters and then changed his mind and well… check it out… 7-6(3), 6-2… but watch out for both of these players… they are VERY good… Keys gets a win… I know… sounds like I am surprised.. but, she looked like GARBAGE last week in her loss to Jabeur… butg today she took out Babos 6-1, 6-1… BAM… 55 minutes… MARK IT!!!

winners and losers of YOU for the ladies??? who will it be now??? some interesting picks all around.. I see Serena, Osaka to win… Kenin, Azarenka, Pliskova, Kvitova, Osaka AND Serena as runner’s up… so… this is ANYONE’s game… oh right…. and Peter LepreCoen is in a separate draw… he sent me his list… so, don’t think you win just because you’re at the top… Chris… saw you on the court tonight… and you played MUCH better than your picks below through the first round… miserable last for you… for now… and ROB is currently leading the Lady Draw… good for him… don’t trip… it is a VERY long way down… whoops… I have a pearl necklace… how lovely… oh no… the string broke…

Player	Round One	Champion	Finalist
Rob	51	Osaka	Serena
Eric	48	Serena	Osaka
Peter	47	Osaka	Kenin
Kresimir	46	Osaka	Azarenka
Nancy	46	Serena	Osaka
Kotonias	46	Serena	Pliskova
Russ	45	Serena	Kvitova
Kurac Bega	41	Pliskova	Kenin
Chris	39	Osaka	Serena

MEN!!! Hmmm… I think we all like them a little bit… how exciting!!! let’s talk… get your coffee… this one is BUMPY!!!!

Start at the bottom… number 2… ew… I know.. I shouldn’t have typed it… Munar of Spain… what an AMAZING first set against Thiem… 7-6(6) to Thiem… and then… things went off the rails… 6-3 to Thiem… and retirement… sorry Munar… maybe next year… poor guy… he looked SO good too… I was excited to see the rest of the match… and ok… bye… Nagal of India over Klahn of the USA… 6-1, 6-3, 3-6, 6-1… we all had a bit of indigestion in the third… right??? Gombos… who??? over Albot.. 6-1, 6-1, 6-4… ok… Cilic needed FIVE sets to take out Kudla 6-1(3), 3-6, 7-5, 7-5, 6-3… thank goodness you have Gombos… who??? in two days… the snorter in straight sets over Seyboth Wild of Brazil… 6-2, 6-1, 7-6(5)… good try in the third Mr. Wild… oh… Jessica WILD?!?!!? SQUEEE!!! probably not… ok… Moutet of France over the Czech Vesely… wow… surprised a bit… I thought it would be more of a fight… 6-4, 6-4, 7-5 and c-ya… ok… match come back of the day… 4 hours and 39 minutes of our LIVES… and Murray prevails over Nishioka of Japan… I was watching and thought… this match is just alright… Nishioka was playing good and Murray was eh, ok… 4-6, 4-6, 7-6(5), 7-6(4), 6-4 for the Scottish player and former number 1 player to win… He will have a winner of a four setter in F to the A A of Canada who took out a very tough first round opponent in the Brazilian Monteiro 6-3, 6-7(7), 7-6(6), 7-6(6) and that match was just shy of four hours… can someone say ICE BATH??!?! Auger-Aliassime is THROUGH… Khachanov had a battle win over Sinner of Italy… I could see some of you sweating as this round completed… Kresimir picked Sinner… and did’t see the cramps coming in the fourth set for him… DAMN it… 3-6, 6-7(7), 6-2, 6-0 (BAGEL), 7-6(4)… Kuznetsov needed a 6-4, 7-6(6), 6-2 scoreline to knock off Querrey of the US of A… bye Sam… Gasquet of France over Karlovic… 7-6(0), 7-6(4), 6-1… HOW did you get a 6-1 on that serve??? good for you… Raonic over Mayer of Argentina… 6-3, 6-2, 6-3.. quick and concise… Pospisil over Kohlschreiber 7-6(4), 7-5, 7-6(3)… awww… Kecmanovic over Mager in five sets… 6-4, 6-4, 6-7(6), 3-6, 6-2… well… that one is done… Bautista over the Racist… YES!!! #blacklivesmatter you piece of kernel sanders bullshit fried up and spat upon… YES!!! 6-4, 6-4, 7-6(3) bye felicia… Medvedev over Delbonis… 6-1, 6-2, 6-4… and done… we’ll say bye bye Argentina… I miss Del Po… O’Connell is through over Djere in four sets, 4-6, 6-4, 7-6(2), 6-4… Lopez is out to another Spaniard Carballes Baena 3-6, 7-6(5), 6-4, 6-3… but what a cute butt… Wolf over Pella (who was not allowed to play in the W&S Open last week as a member of his team contracted the VIRUS… he was cleared to play a match this week)… and lost… 62, 0-6 (BAGEL), 6-3, 6-3… Millman over #22 Basilashvili 6-1, 6-4, 6-4… well… didn’t see that one coming… YAWN… Tiafoe over Seppi… dropped the first set and then cruised… 4-6, 6-3, 6-4, 7-5… Fucsovics of Hungary over Dellien of India… 6-3, 6-3, 6-1… aw… Dimitrov didn’t need much time either in his 6-4, 6-3, 6-1 victory over Paul of the USA… Rublev took little time to take out Frenchie Chardy… 6-4, 6-4, 6-3… Barrere over Daniel of Japan… 6-3, 6-4, 3-6, 6-1… The Italian Caruso in the VERY last match of the night took down Duckworth of Australia… 4-6, 7-5, 7-5, 6-2  BAM… Ruud of Norway needed five over the American, McDonald… 4-6, 4-6, 6-4, 6-3, 6-2… ok then… Ruusuvuori… remember THAT name… the Finnish player needed five over Bednen 6-3, 3-6, 6-1, 4-6, 6-1… the score is like a tennis match, back and forth… Umbert over Sugita of Japan… 6-3, 6-4, 6-3 and done… Berrettini of Italy is picking up where many of the others did not… 7-6(5), 6-1, 6-4 over Soeda of Japan…   well good for the Italian Stallion… but bad for Japan… the sun also rises… remember that… and doesn’t ever set on Japan…

And now for you my chickens… PETER… WTF… a LEAD in the first round… OK Ireland… and just behind is the UKs own Rob… hmmm… I think someone is cheating… HMPH… Chris is in the middle of the pack… doing nicely… and Eric… sweet sweet Eric… you are in Miserable LAST and who is just above you… DIK… Dik Cheese to be exact… oh… what a mountain to climb… so many Djokovic winners… so MANY Medvedev and Thiem finalists… how delightful…

Player	Round One	Champion	Finalist
Peter	48	Djokovic	Medvedev
Rob	46	Djokovic	Medvedev
Kresimir	44	Medvedev	Djokovic
Kotonias	44	Tsitsipas	Thiem
Chris	44	Djokovic	Medvedev
Russ	43	Djokovic	Thiem
Nancy	40	Djokovic	Thiem
Kurac Bega	39	Djokovic	Thiem
Eric	37	Djokovic	Medvedev

Round ONE is over and DONE my friends… and now we are OFF to the races… moving onward and upward to the next level… Round 2 and the points DOUBLE… 2 points for each correct pick… so… let’s get CRACKING!!!

The Commish!

When nothing goes right, go left…

SEPTEMBER 1, 2020

oh my god… WE’RE BACK!!! and it is TENNIS IN THE CITY!!! How very exciting for all people big and small… I didn’t even think I would get this emotional over something so simple… I have MISSED the tennis… Tom Rinaldi was giving the opening monologue and I almost teared up… seriously?!?!? ok… well we can talk about nepotism or we can talk about tennis and I am voting for TENNIS!  Let’s start with the world number one… he had a rough go of it in the Western & Southern Open in Cincinnati… I mean, New York City… yes, it was played in the “bubble”… YAY bubbles!!! isn’t that Michael Jackson’s Chimp’s name??? Yeah, that’s what I thought… ok… Djokovic… he has an injury… to his neck… but he still won the tournament… well… that’s impressive!!! and he was in good form today even though he blew up in the second set in his win over Damir Dzumhur of Bosnia-Hercegovina… 6-1, 6-4, 6-1… with that scoreline… take some pills… sheesh… Edmund of Great Britain did well today… four sets over Bublik… only a couple underhand serves from the Kazakh… and a 6-0 fourth set for the Brit… One of the last games of the day went to Mmoh of the USA over Portugal’s Sousa… 6-2, 7-5, 2-6, 6-1 to the American… he has a VERY odd ball bounce prior to serving… I hope someone shows him… Struff over Martinez in straight sets… Carreno Busta over Uchiyama of Japan in a five setter 4-6, 6-3, 1-6, 6-3, 6-3 BAM… Krueger over the other Sousa of Portugal… that would be a fun match… Sousa v. Sousa… maybe they have a consolation round??? Everyone has a dream… Berankis over Gaio of Italy… good job Lithuania… Battle of the College Brats!  #16 Isner is OUT of the tournament.. the Georgia Bulldog loses to his good friend and USC Trojan rival Johnson… 6-7(5), 6-3, 6-7(5), 6-3, 7-6(3)… it’s like math only more convoluted… another testy little nightmare in Shapavalov… he beat an up and comer in Korda… four sets… but what a baby.. don’t be a Djokovic… PLEASE!!! Kwon… remember him??? nope, me either… but he is into the second round after defeating another person you have likely never heard of Kwitkowski… of the USA… got you… four sets to the Korean… Simon quickly through in straight sets 6-1, 6-4, 6-4… and we have Fritz over Koepfer… in four 6-7(7), 6-3, 6-2, 6-4… remember that Fritz is the one who just couldn’t wait to have sex… so he got married… just use a condom… it is easier… yawn… Krajinovic over Ymer in straight sets… one Serb one Swede… go ahead.. I bet you can get that one right!!! I believe in you… or… is it, I believe you can fly… either way… I do… American Giron over Polmans of Australia…  it was a bit of a nail biter… 6-4, 6-7(5), 3-6, 6-4, 6-2… I wonder if you believe the match will ever end when it is so long… Harris of South Africa over Cecchinato… how the mighty have fallen… remember when Cecchinato was in the semifinals of the French Open??? That’s right… 2018… and never past the first round of ANY other major… I am a bit surprised… but, Goffin made it through Opleka… Obviously Opelka has an injury… so… it is next year my friend for you to get your hard court on… Four sets to the Belgian… Tsitsi-fly… I mean Tsitsipas… I think he was on court for about 20 minutes in his win over Ramos-Vinolas… 2, 1 & 1 and done… Cressy over Kovalik… yep, that’s what I thought… who??? Londero over Donskoy… Londero is better on the clay… but, that’s a decent win… Coric wins a match!!! CELEBRATION!!! 7-5, 6-3, 6-1 over Andujar of Spain… Gerasimov over #18 Lajovic – that is a big win… isn’t it??? don’t overthink it… it was a good match… 6-1, 4-6, 6-4, 6-4… HARD hitting match… Thompson of Australia over Travaglia of Italy in four sets… Kukushkin over Balazs… Garin took five sets off Blanch of the US… now that is not spelled Devereaux as a first name… it is Ulises and he is currently ranked 244… so… take THAT… wow… we’re REALLY looking for players… I am surprised I didn’t get the call… I guess my bat phone is in the shop… damn… Paris, here I come… ooooo… here it comes… #9 Schwartzman is OUT to Norrie of GB… there was a bit of cramping and a little complaining… but 3-6, 4-6, 6-2, 6-1, 7-5 to the Brit and the first top 10 seed is OUT of the tournament… and the bubble… Coria over Jung… in a retirement   sad… Davidovich Fokina over Novak of Austria… Hurkacz over Gojowczyk… and you think I need to buy a vowel… take THAT up with Vanna, yep, she’s waiting for your call… Mannarino over Sonego in four sets… Jack SOCK wins a match!!! 3-6, 6-4, 6-2, 4-6, 7-6(2) over Cuevas of Uruguay… Nakashima over Lorenzi of Italy… what GIVES Italy??? now… Nakashima is going to give Osaka a run for her money… lawd… this poor guy has personality zero on the stage… but, he can play some tennis… 6-3, 6-2, 7-6(3)… This was the big match… and I am SURE Zverev was NOT looking forward to playing Anderson… but… he pulled it out… 7-6(2), 5-7, 6-3, 7-5… it was an ok match… Anderson is still feeling a bit of the knee injury… but, he will return… I believe in him!!!

Here’s where YOU are with the Men… yeah… no one has yet cracked 30 on the first or second day of play… and you didn’t do it AGAIN!

Player	Round One	Champion
Rob	23	Djokovic
Kresimir	22	Medvedev
Peter	22	Djokovic
Kotonias	22	Tsitsipas
Russ	22	Djokovic
Eric	21	Djokovic
Chris	21	Djokovic
Nancy	19	Djokovic
Kurac Bega	18	Djokovic

Seven count them SEVEN Djokovic to win… that is a VERY good bet… I am sure he will likely win… but, garbage is garbage… and we have a Medvedev and a Tsitsipas… yes… some people know tennis… so, we shall SEE!!!

Now… onto the LADY DRAW… let’s also start with the current #1 in this draw… Pliskova… she won her first match against Kalinina… (cool name)… 6-4, 6-0… not such a cool score though… silly rabbit… and she will meet Garcia of France how outshone Paolini of Italy… 6-3, 6-2…  not a good day for Italy   – Bellis of the USA did win her match… 6-7(13), 6-3, 6-2 and will set up an all American clash after Brady beat Blinkova 6-3, 6-2… now, Brady won in Lexington so… this next round will be interesting… Kerber over Tomjanovic of Australia… double 6-4 for the win… Friedsam over Dolehide in two 6-2s… Rus who almost beat Serena in the W&S Open and played some LIGHTS OUT TENNIS is out… to Li of the USA… 6-4, 2-6, 6-1  ouch… Kresimir had Rus to the semis… silly Nederlander… Riske in a quick win over Maria of Germany 6-3, 6-2… Vondrousova over Minnen 6-1, 6-4… and the number 12 moves on… Sasnovich took 2 to beat American Di Lorenzo 2-6, 7-6(6), 6-0 (BAGEL)… Lapko over Golubic… 1-6, 7-6(2), 6-2… ARGH!!! Putintseva over Montgomery and Mladenovic over Baptiste it was straight sets for the both of the non American women… I think you can figure out who is who… Gracheva of Russia over Badosa. of Spain 6-4, 7-5… Spain is also having a bad day   Bondarenko over Kiick – give her one, cause she is OUT after a three set loss… Osaka… wow… that was a GOOD match from her Countrywoman Doi… three sets and I don’t believe there is any felt left on that ball… 6-2, 5-7, 6-2 to the number 4 player in the tournament… Giorgi over Vvan Uytvanck in three setns… Kostuyk over Kasatkina quickly and I mean QUICKLY… itw as over before it started… 6-1, 6-2… BAM!!!  Sevastova over Gauff in three… and Sevastova beat Serena in that AMAZING match for Fed Cup… good on her for putting out the youngster… Kovinic of Montenegro over Cabrera of Australia in three sets… 6-4, 3-6, 6-2… bounce bounce bounce… Juvan over Arconada in straight sets… 6-4, 7-6(2)… bye… Kontaveit wasn’t afraid and I am sure the COME’ONs were louder than necessary… but the Minion is OUT… sorry Kotonias… (his semi final pick) is out… bye little lady from Florida… 5-7, 6-2, 6-2… Rybakina over Zavatska 6-3, 6-0 (BAGEL)… mmmm… now where is my cream cheese??? Rogers (who also beat Serena recently) over Khomacheva in matching 6-2s… Brengle over Radionova and Yastremska over Sharma… both of these non-winners are from down under… the ONLY lady seed to drop in the first day is #32 Peterson who lost to Flipkens of Belgium 7-6(1), 6-4… Pegula… yes.. and thank you… through to round 2 over Bouzkova who beat Pliskova in the W&S Open last week… phew… 3-6, 6-2, 7-6(3)… Kozlova over Osuigwe in straight sets 6-3, 7-5 and last but NOT least… Kvitova over Begu of Romaina… 6-3, 6-2… Shortest match of the day… 59 minutes… longest 3 hours and 59 minutes… sounds like fun…

now for YOU… how is YOUR lady draw starting???

Player	Round One	Champion
Russ	27	Serena
Kresimir	26	Osaka
Rob	26	Osaka
Eric	26	Serena
Nancy	26	Serena
Chris	24	Osaka
Kotonias	24	Serena
Peter	23	Osaka
Kurac Bega	19	Pliskova

wow… so many Serena/Osaka options… who WILL win??? Pliskova for Kurac… what a dick… well, we are off and running to ROUND 1 – Day 2… so many boys and girls in ACTION tomorrow… how amazing… I hope you enjoyed the tennis today… and there is so much more… VERY SOON… like in a few hours… time for some SLEEP!!!

The Commish!

2019

Women come to New York for two Ls: labels and love…

SEPTEMBER 12, 2019

and I got BOTH!!! Well, I know… I fell down and I couldn’t get back up again… sigh… what an AMAZING fortnight people… lots of tennis to watch and I guess personal news…

<I got engaged>… saying that on the down low because for…

NOW it is about wrapping up the tennis scores and reporting the information to all the people…. yay!

Lady Draw…
well, I would believe it was all left off at the quarterfinals… well we do know who won The Bencic v. Vekic match cause that is BELOW… 7-6, 6-3 to Bencic… it was a fun match… and well… we know what happens… Mertens took on Andreescu in the night match on the Wednesday and Mertens CLOBBERED Andreescu in the first set 6-3… but the Canadian took the second two sets clearing her way to the semis 6-2, 6-3 and off we go… Svitolina looked AMAZING against Konta and knocked on two break chances in each set 6-4, 6-4 to the Ukrainian… and she looked soooooo good going into that semi with none other than Serena who took down Wang in a lopsided match of 6-1, 6-0…

First match up on Thursday was Serena v. Svitolina and I thought this is going to be a THRILLER!!! nope… Svitolina was off on her serve and she looked a MESS… I mean, hit the ball in girl!!! eeeeeewwww!  Serena clocked her quickly 6-3, 6-1… BAM!!! Andreescu had a much tighter match against Bencic and the first set went 7-6(3) to the Canadian and I thought another tie breaker coming after Bencic was serving for the first set at 5-2… then on come back Andreescu and it is the ending 7-5 to the Canadian and her mom’s wig…. I mean… come-on… who wears a hard front like that??? If you’re going to look like a drag queen, then let a drag queen dress you girl… that is embarrassing… thank you Mother…

FINAL – well Andreescu wins.. but it wasn’t as great as one would think… it was pretty much a spattering of Serena with a younger version of herself on the otherside of the net… Serena got out played with both power and guile… the US Open crowns the first Canadian Champion at a grand slam in singles… she came… she played and she won… and Kresimir called it… SQUEEE For him… now… move on… technically he also won the main bracket, but someone was in too much of a hurry and didn’t hit SUBMIT to main draw… whomp whaaaa!!! Here’s the final standings…

Player	WINNER	Champion	Finalist
Kresimir	284	Andreescu	Serena
Len	202	Keys	Andreescu
Arnaud	189	Serena	Osaka
Phirman	177	Serena	Bertens
Nancy	176	Osaka	Serena
Eric	170	Serena	Halep
Russ	167	Serena	Halep
Peter	163	Serena	Halep
Kurac	141	Osaka	Barty
Rob	136	Pliskova	Halep
Olivier	133	Osaka	Barty
Daniel	119	Barty	Stephens
Ann	116	Serena	Osaka
Koto	102	Kerber	Stephens

Yes, we know Kresimir won.. however, look at the miserable last… 102 from Kotonias… ouch… I am SUPER happy you cleared 100… congrats.. you are officially miserable… well, in this draw…

Men’s Draw
Well we know that Berrettini took down #13 Monfils in five sets and a clear winner in the fifth to the Italian… 3-6, 6-3, 6-2, 3-6, 7-6(5)… brilliant tennis and an amazing match!!! Nadal waits for him in the semi after dispatching #20 Schwartzman 6-4, 7-5, 6-2… don’t cry for me Argentina… we’ll see you down under… Dimitrov took five sets to remove #3 Federer from the tournament… Roger didn’t look great in the final set… but, a win is a WIN is a win… is a win…  – on goes the Bulgarian… 3-6, 6-4, 3-6, 6-4, 6-2… Medvedev over #23 Wawrinka in four sets… 7-6 (6), 6-3, 6-3, 6-1… next, says Natasha…

Semifinals… let’s start with the Natasha take down of Dimitrov… I mean… ouch… he didn’t look terrible in the first set… but… it was done and done in three… 7-6(5), 6-4, 6-3… I thought he would put up a bit of a fight… but there was none left… Natasha is one step closer to the crown… the bear can feel it… #24 Berrettini didn’t have enough in the tank to put up much of a fight over Nadal who took him down in three sets… 7-6(6), 6-4, 6-1… and now we have a bull fight…

Final… This was an ok match… there were some thrilling points… smack smack smack… but although it was a five setter, something was lacking… not sure if it was the constant racket up from Nadal while he cleared his panties… or just the needless hitting down the middle which irritated me… but it was a long grueling match… and at the end… Nadal takes down #5 Natasha 7-5, 6-3, 5-7, 4-6, 6-4… Game, Set & Match…

Player	WINNER	Champion
Ann	171	Nadal
Nancy	166	Nadal
Phirman	151	Federer
Kurac	143	Djokovic
Daniel	137	Federer
Eric	132	Djokovic
Len	129	Djokovic
Rob	129	Djokovic
Peter	126	Djokovic
Russ	120	Djokovic
Kresimir	119	Djokovic
Olivier	114	Tsitsipas
Arnaud	108	Federer
Koto	101	Djokovic

I believe that for most of this tournament, Kresimir was the all out miserable contestant… and, in the END… Kotonias took the DOUBLE MISERABLE LAST… I mean WOW!!!  I don’t know if that has ever happened… I think we need a prize… hmmm… plunger???  ANN!!! out of NOWHERE swoops in and takes it… ok, she was leading through the front half and then dropped to the middle… but SWOOP that trophy girl!!! You’re a WINNER BABY!!!

Nancy & Ann have completed their first calendar year on the tour… hope for many more… there are standings posted…. so, check that out…

Thanks for making this fun!  Much love and see you on the other side of the WORLD, 2020…

The Commish!

What’s the big mystery? It’s my clitoris, not the Sphinx…

SEPTEMBER 5, 2019

I only have a bit of time to talk and I have one thing to say… New York City… I am IN YOU!!! I know the locals are scared too… they are a tough lot… I have only cussed out one person… OHHHH it feels good… I got a giggle from a french girl at a patisserie next to Bryant Park (ok several giggles) – my French needs a reboot… A wink from a sumo sized waiter at a restaurant… so… all in all… winning 🙂 – Only one full day in!!!

So, we went to see the Bencic v. Vekic match – that was intense… I mean we were so close we could smell them… and they smelled delicious… so much fun!!! Bencic took the first set over Vekic in a tie breaker and the second with one break of serve… 6-3… surprising facts… Bencic is very tiny…. and Vekic is HUGE… well… by huge I mean tall… it says 5’10″… ummm no… anyway… it was a very HOT match… TEMPERATURE!!! OUCH!!!… then we got the Berrenttini v. Monfils match… OMG!!! hit is HARDER!!! HARDER!!! it was crazy… the showmanship of Monfils and the ummm… booty of Berrenttini… let’s just call this the match of the YEAR!!! Monfils had the crowd and the ladies and 10 percent of the gentleman took notice of Berrenttini… what a match… You cannot see some of  the serves off the racket of the Italian… see it land and think damn… how did he get that back… impressive!!! Monfils struck the first set and won 6-3, second and third set went to Berrenttini 6-3 & 6-2… we could all feel for Monfils… and he called to the crowd to pull him up… ON THE FEET were the people… ready and waiting… ROAR!!!! 6-3 Monfils… they did close the roof and Monfils in his amazing sportsmanlike person checked the court for traction… checked in with Berrenttini and then checked again to make sure all was well for his competitor… thumbs up?  yes… let’s go… it was first strike Berrenttini and then Monfils climbs back… asking throughout the last set for help from the crowd… they were all behind him… well aside from some idiots behind us screaming Matteo like they were at a football match… note, I said match… not game…. soccer for you others… anyway… we get to a tiebreaker and in 7-5 we  have a winner Berrenttini… I will catch up on the other matches… ummm… soon… 🙂

Here are your points my Lovely People!!!
MEN

Player	Points	Champion	Finalist
Phirman	121	Federer	Nadal
Kurac	113	Djokovic	Nadal
Ann	111	Nadal	Djokovic
Russ	110	Djokovic	Thiem
Daniel	107	Federer	Nadal
Nancy	106	Nadal	Djokovic
Olivier	104	Tsitsipas	Djokovic
Eric	102	Djokovic	Nadal
Koto	101	Djokovic	Tsitsipas
Len	99	Djokovic	Nadal
Rob	99	Djokovic	Nadal
Arnaud	98	Federer	Tsitsipas
Peter	96	Djokovic	Nadal
Kresimir	89	Djokovic	Nadal

WOMEN

Player	Points	Champion	Finalist
Arnaud	157	Serena	Osaka
Len	154	Keys	Andreescu
Phirman	145	Serena	Bertens
Nancy	144	Osaka	Serena
Kurac	141	Osaka	Barty
Kresimir	140	Andreescu	Serena
Eric	138	Serena	Halep
Rob	136	Pliskova	Halep
Russ	135	Serena	Halep
Olivier	133	Osaka	Barty
Peter	131	Serena	Halep
Daniel	119	Barty	Stephens
Koto	102	Kerber	Stephens
Ann	84	Serena	Osaka

OK Off to the CITY and some more tennis!!! Besos from NYC!!!

The Commish!

I’d like a cheeseburger, please, large fries, and a Cosmopolitan!!!

SEPTEMBER 1, 2019

and then there were 32 boys & girls to fight it out… wow… we are down to the round of 16 on both draws… and well… let’s start at the top… the injured number one player in the world… yawn… didn’t take too long to knock down the American raised Kudla in straight sets… Wawrinka had some tight sets, but pulled through easily in three over Lorenzi the lucky loser from Italy… Koepfer… who??? he went to college in the States, Tulane University… he took out #17 Basilashvilli 6-1 in the fourth… how about this all star… insert the eye roll… Mdevedev… what a NIGHTMARE!!! throwing towels… requesting boos from the crowd… telling them the boos made him win… ok Natasha… that’s your new nick name… if you don’t get it… look up reruns of Rocky & Bullwinkle… he did win over Lopez in four sets… that’s impressive and he has played a LOT of tennis!!! all tight sets… Federer didn’t need much time to overtake Evans of the UK… I mean 6-2, 6-2, 6-1 and done… Goffin needed 3 sets to take out Carreno Busta and he wins Fed… yay… Dimitrov made easy work of Majchrzak, well it was straight sets… so, that part was the easy part… de Minaur took four to oust #7 Nishikori… BAM…  Rublev took two tie breaks and the ONLY break of the match to outwork Kyrgios… who the hell is Tom Rinaldi??? well that is the question on almost everyone’s mind… Berrettini over Popyrin in four tight sets… nothing was easy for anyone… especially Monfils… who needed five to pull off a big win over Shapovalov… 6-3 in the fifth… watch out Svitolina… Andujar over Bublik… I didn’t see this match… but I did hear that Bublik did 26 double faults in his previous match and he won… so… this was the kitchen sink match… so… wow… I did look it up and he also had 48 aces in that same match… so… meh… Zverev continues on with a four set match victory over Bedene… and out goes the racist to Schwartzman… 6-4, 6-1, 6-3… YES!!! Cilic took four sets and six double faults in ONE GAME to take out #14 Isner… wow… if you lose a game with 6 double faults… you should lose the match… bye… Nadal over Chung in straight sets… done…

LADIES!!!! Barty cleared #30 Sakkari… it was two sets… but a slice and dice victory for the Aussie over the Greek… Wang over Ferro in straight sets… Martic over #12 Sevastova…. that’s some points… Sevastova made the semifinals last year… so… ouch… and now Martic plays Serena who dominated Muchova… she made the quarterfinals at the Wimbledon… so… she can play… Pliskova took 3 sets to beat Jabeur of Tunisia… that’s a good win over a very crafty player… and I am not talking decoupage…  Konta through comfortably over #33 Zhang… she replaced Vondrousova… so.. that happened… Keys took down #20 Kenin… again… so… and Svitolina took down another Ukrainian player in Yastremska… I think Monfils is rubbing off… literally!!! Mertens over Petkovic in a double set of 6-3s… Ostapenko is out with her dirty mouth to Ahn of the USA… Andreescu over #19 Wozniacki… it was a good match… they broke each other almost as many times as they held… insanity…. 6-4, 6-4… PRECIOUS!!! Again!!! downed Cirstea 7-5, 6-2… and a lot of net travel… keep it going!!! #7 Bertens didn’t look good… I mean… Goerges took her DOWN TOWN… 6-2, 6-3… Vekic over Putintseva 6-4 6-1… Bencic gets the win in a walkover from Kontaveit… stomach issues… awww…. and Osaka over Gauff… 6-3, 6-0… and if you did’t see the end exchange… SEE IT!!! not only does it show the type of person Osaka is… it also shows the amazing side of Coco… yes… call her Coco!!!

Kresimir is sucking balls in the men’s draw and Ann has it in the Lady Lane…. so.. that’s amazing… Rob has miraculously taken the lead of the Lady’s Draw and Ann has a good grasp on the Men!!! (add a shocked face HERE)… Lady Draw… NOW!!!  Below are what you have left and the people YOU selected to LOSE in the quarterfinals… you can see the red ones – which are OUT!!!

Player	Round Three	Quarterfinalist
Rob	125	Osaka/Kvitova/Keys/Serena
Olivier	124	Bertens/Stephens/Pliskova/Serena
Kurac	123	Bertens/Kvitova/Svitolina/Serena
Phirman	120	Gauff/Halep/Keys/Barty
Len	120	Bertens/Kvitova/Pliskova/Barty
Nancy	118	Bertens/Stephens/Keys/Barty
Arnaud	115	Bertens/Andreescu/Konta/Barty
Eric	112	Osaka/Stephens/Keys/Barty
Russ	110	Osaka/Kvitova/Keys/Barty
Kresimir	108	Putinseva/Kuznetsova/Pliskova/Barty
Peter	105	Sabalenka/Stephens/Keys/Kerber
Daniel	101	Osaka/Halep/Konta/Serena
Koto	70	Maria/Tsurenko/Stosur/Serena
Ann	58	Azarenka/Siniakova/Pera/Kerber

Same for the boys… who do you have losing in the quarters???

Player	Round Three	Quarterfinalist
Ann	101	Nishikoa/Nishikori/Kyrgios/Zverev
Kurac	98	Medvedev/Nishikori/Tsitsipas/Zverev
Koto	96	Olpelka/Majchrzak/Thiem/Isner
Russ	95	Medvedev/Coric/Tsitsipas/Khachanov
Daniel	92	Medvedev/Nishikori/Kyrgios/Zverev
Phirman	91	Wawrinka/Nishikori/ Auger-Aliassime/Paire
Nancy	91	Medvedev/Nishikori/Thiem/Zverev
Olivier	89	Mdevedev/Nishikori/Thiem/Zverev
Rob	89	Fognini/Nishikori/Thiem/Zverev
Eric	87	Medvedev/Nishikori/Bautista Agut/Zverev
Peter	86	Fognini/Coric/Tsitsipas/Zverev
Len	84	Medvedev/Nishikori/Tsitsipas/Zverev
Arnaud	83	Medvedev/Nishikori/Auger Alliassime/Khachanov
Kresimir	74	Medvedev/Nishikori/Auger Alliassime/Khachanov

not cute… ugh… I haven’t seen the points so low in the Men’s Draw in a WHILE!!! so… there you have it… who are you and WHO do you LOVE??? time to go to bed… tomorrow is the beginning of the ROUND OF 16!!! EEEEK!!! and… well… the countdown begins… I will be in the NYC in 3 days… SQUEEEE!!!!

type soon…

The Commish!

I like my money where I can see it—hanging in my closet…

AUGUST 30, 2019

om… lawd… how is it possible it has been so long??? the rain waylaid me from writing and then alcohol gummed up an opportunity of yesterday… I enjoyed it IMMENSELY!!! so… stuff that in your judgment… so… that was a very slow Wednesday and a SUPER PACKED Thursday… so… what happened??? wow… so much…

Djokovic looked a mess against Londero and in some magical way… he won in three sets…  I mean… there is something wrong with him… let’s see what happens next… Stan the man makes it through over Chardy in 4 sets… Basilashvilli takes out the young American Brooksby who is trying to decide if he is going to go to college… ummm 3 sets… Baylor is calling… you are OUT in round two… Medvedev had some fitness issues but managed to get through in four sets over Dellien… Roger got a slow start again and dropped the first set… but it was fine… it was done and done in four sets over Dzumhur… #25 Pouille is out to Evans of GBR… Goffin over Barrere in 3 6-2 sets… #12 Coric is out in a walkover for Dimitrov… best result he has had all year 😛  de Minaur over #31 Garin in three sets… Nishikori took out Klahn in four sets… Kyrgios over Hoang in three sets… and VERY clean and calm tennis… what a SURPRISE!!! Berrettini over Thompson in four sets… Monfils over Copil… Zverev beats Tiafoe?!?! 2 matches?!?!? who is this guy???  #29 Paire is OUT with some ATTITUDE TOO!!! wow… shut the door ladies… he is an angry beard… no shake of the hand for YOU Bedene… Schwartzman over Gerasimov… Isner beats Struff in straight sets and sets up a clash with Cilic who took out another German, Stebe… Chung took down #32 Verdasco in five sets and he get Nadal after Kokkinakis withdrew… other winners the racist, Bublik, Andujar, Shapovalov, Popyrin, Rublev, Majchrzak, Carreno Busta, Lopez, Koepfer, Lorenzi & Kudla… so, we will see what happens NEXT!!!

Svitolina took out Venus in straight sets… Yastremska will meet her in the next round aver beating Peterson of Sweden… Kenin over Siefemund and Keys over Zhu…. Konta is through over Gasparyan and so is Zhang who takes out the other Russian Alexandrova… Pliskova was an easy through Bolkvadze, Serena had a MATCH in McNally and she took the first set off her 7-5 but could not match Serena as she rose UP and she clobbered the 17 year old back to reality with 6-3, 6-1… Muchova took 3 also in beating #29 Hsieh 7-6(2) in the third… Martic over Bogdan and Sevastova over Swiatek… Wang took down Van Utvanck and Sakkari over Peng… Barty had a bit of a fight from Davis of the US but moves through in 2 sets… Osaka wins again!!! straight sets over Linette… Kontaveit took three to overcome Tomljanovic… Bencic over Cornet… Putintseva took 2 sets to take out #9 Sabalenka… that STILL isn’t the upset of the day!!! Goreges took out DeLorenzo of the USA… Vekic over Kanepi… Bertens is under the radar and that is where she likes it… beating Pavlyuchenkova… #6 Kvitova is OUT to Petkovic… Mertens over the sister of the Pliskova… Andreescu over Flipkins in 2 sets…. and Wozniacki takes out the Minion!!! SQUEE!!! three sets… but it makes me happy… I even watched one of those videos on the US Open app about Collins… yuck… she is just too smarmy for me… oh… and so many people… get your jaws off the ground… PRECIOUS!!! MY PRECIOUS!!! takes out #4 Halep… Townsend came to net over 100 times during the match and won 2-6, 6-3, 7-6(4)… her speech after the match was incredible… it showed her passion, frustration and character… see… that is how you do it MINION!!! have some fucking vulnerability and compassion for others… it isn’t just about YOU… #lovemyprecious – Ferro, Jabeur, Ostapenko, Ahn, Cirstea, and COCO win!!! They didn’t play a seeded player, but they win and are on to the third round…

Round three is going – but I will talk about it tomorrow!  I need a break… 😛

ok… what is going on??? Olivier – you are KICKING some booty!! and you have the same finalist and winner as Kurac… hmmm… how did that happen??? Oh, I see you!!! FYI – NO one had Halep to win this tournament… so, good for YOU… Ann… I don’t know what to say… you chose the wrong Pliskova but with a Serena win, you may save yourself… because Kotonias has some picks of the year…. Arnaud, I don’t believe you can lose… Kerber and Stephens are OUT so you don’t have a finalist OR winner left… maybe Svitolina??? good luck… but I LOVE some of your choices… Keeping it interesting…

Player	Round Two	Semi Finalists
Olivier	97	Stephens/Keys
Rob	96	Bertens/Barty
Kurac	93	Halep/Pliskova
Phirman	93	Kuznetsova/Pliskova
Russ	91	Bertens/Pliskova
Len	90	Osaka/Serena
Kresimir	88	Bouzkova/Keys
Nancy	88	Halep/Pliskova
Peter	87	Osaka/Pliskova
Eric	86	Bertens/Pliskova
Arnaud	85	Stephens/Keys
Daniel	79	Sabalenka/Keys
Koto	58	Potopova/Svitolina
Ann	44	Kr. Pliskova/Keys

Now Fcuk the boys… sheesh… what is going on??? this is the like the lady draw for the past year … the men are a MESS and we are kind of also… well Kresimir is in miserable last… yuck… great choices lady 😐  10 of the fourteen have a man OUT of the semis… and maybe more… it isn’t cute… so… good luck 🙂

Player	Round Two	Semi Finalists
Ann	80	Federer/Thiem
Kurac	77	Federer/Thiem
Russ	74	Federer/Nadal
Phirman	73	Medvedev/Tsitsipas
Nancy	73	Federer/Tsitsipas
Koto	72	Federer/Zverev
Daniel	71	Djokovic/Thiem
Eric	69	Federer/Thiem
Peter	68	Federer/Thiem
Olivier	65	Federer/Nadal
Rob	65	Federer/Tsitsipas
Arnaud	65	Djokovic/Nadal
Len	60	Federer/Thiem
Kresimir	59	Federer/Bautista Agut

So we are EN ROUTE and excited to see what will happen in ROUND 3 of the tournament… Hope you all have an amazing beginning to your WEEKEND – happy labour day… see what I did there??? ok… off to watch some TENNIS!!!

The Commish!

You dated Mr. Big… I’m dating Mr. Too Big…

AUGUST 28, 2019

Well yesterday didn’t bring too much of an issue… however, today… well… that was a bit different… let’s start with the men… #4 Thiem is OUT of the tournament… losing to Fabbiano who took out Tsitsipas at Wimbledon… and well… speaking of #8 Tsitsipas… well he was removed also… Rublev took out Federer in Cincinnati and now he takes down the Greek… looked like there were issues with the cramps… ouch… well hopefully he’ll get the proper treatment…. I think Nancy and Ann want to cover that, right ladies??? Nadal didn’t have any issues over Millman and Kyrigios in a pretty straight forward match against Johnson… Isner had a good day at the office with a straight sets win over Garcia-Lopez… #18 Auger-Aliassime played his friend and fellow Canadian Shapovalov.. and that was a SPANKING… 6-1, 6-1, 6-4… oh canada… Zverev WINS a match!!! falls on the floor… five sets to take down Albot of Moldova… Tiafoe got a retirement out of Karlovic… Cilic also wins over Klizan in three… the racist gets a win over Tsonga 😐 – yuck… live another day… Chung over Escobedo… Monfils 🙂 over Ramos-Vinolas… 3 sets… #30 Edumund is out of the tournament… losing to Anduhar in the longest match of the day 4 hours and 21 minutes… Gerasimov over Harris in three… Kukushkin takes down #10 Bautista Agut… NO… not my RBA?!?!?! fuck… Stebe over Krijinovic… Thompson of Australia took three swings at Sousa and out of the park… Kokkinakis… haven’t heard from him in a bit… he went thorough over Ivashka of Belarus… Verdasco and Paire both took wins over Kamke and Schnur respectively… Popyrin over Delbonis… Copil over Humbert of France in 5 sets… Sonego over Granollers… and Hoang over Mayer… five sets over the Argentine… Berrettini over Gasquet… Schwartzman over Haase… don’t cry for me Argentina…. Simon in four over Frantangelo… Pospisil of Canada… oh you thought I forgot… over #9 Khachanov… BAM… another big pick… 😐 – Bublik over Giraldo… Cecchinato loses to Laaksonen in five and I think the first 5 set tiebreaker of this year!!! congrats to you both…. Striff needed 3 sets over Ruud and Bedene over Kovalik is the loser in three under Bedene…

Lady Draw… well ladies… did you think it would be better??? eh… maybe a little… apparently I am the only one who thinks Coco is just ok…. she has some shots and she out played her opponent in Potapova… but, she is going to have to bring it a lot harder as the rounds continue…. 3-6, 6-2, 6-4 to Gauff… I do like her attitude… Sabalenka takes down Azarenka in the battle of the Belarus…. quelle surprise… Halep needed three to down Gibbs of the USA…. #11 Stephens only needed 1 hour and 24 minutes to leave Arthur Ashe losing to Kalinskaya 6-3, 6-4… #24 Muguruza is also out to Riske… Osaka took a beating in the beginning and won the first set against Blinkova; however, after losing the second set in a tie breaker… she pulled it out 6-2 in the third… Wozniacki wins a match over Wang of China…. Kvitova over takes fellow Czech player Allertova… Berten needed an hour and four minutes to say good bye to Badosa… Bolsova knocked out the semifinalist at Wimbledon, #31 Strycova – Bencic over Minella…. Ahn over Kuznetsova… AcK!!! Goerges over Vikhlyantseva… that’s a mouthful… Andreescu over Volynets… Petkovic over Buzarnescu of Romania quickly and quietly… Putintseva over Brengle… Babos over #28 Suarez Navarro in a retirement… The OTHER Pliskova wins a match over Parry of France 6-4, 6-3… Ostapenko over Krunic… Kontaveit over Sorribes Tormo 6-1, 6-1… Cornet knocks out Pegula BAM… Precious!!! 🙂 YAY a win over Kozlova in two hours and a MINUTE… Flipkens over Wang in three… Kanepi keeps it alive over Maria… Mertens didn’t take long to win over Teichmann… the minion over Hercog in three… Cristea over Siniakova… Vekic over Hogenkamp… Pavlyuchenkova over Parmentier in a 6-1, 7-6(2)… Bouzkova didn’t make it work!!! Tomljanovic of Australia took her out in three sets… 6-1 in the third… De Lorenzo of the US beat my other pick… Kudermetova…. sigh… Linette over Sharma in just over 90 minutes… 6-3, 6-4… and that is how it was written…

I KNOW it says something on the site – I counted them all… they are NOT correct…
MEN’S DRAW:

Player	Round One	Champion	Finalist
Kurac	43	Djokovic	Nadal
Ann	42	Nadal	Djokovic
Phirman	41	Federer	Nadal
Kresimir	41	Djokovic	Nadal
Russ	40	Djokovic	Thiem
Nancy	37	Nadal	Djokovic
Daniel	37	Federer	Nadal
Koto	36	Djokovic	Tsitsipas
Peter	36	Djokovic	Nadal
Olivier	35	Tsitsipas	Djokovic
Eric	35	Djokovic	Nadal
Rob	35	Djokovic	Nadal
Len	33	Djokovic	Nadal
Arnaud	33	Federer	Tsitsipas

The LADY Draw is also wrong… sigh… I need an abacus…

Player	Round One	Champion	Finalist
Olivier	47	Osaka	Barty
Kurac	45	Osaka	Barty
Peter	45	Serena	Halep
Phirman	45	Serena	Bertens
Russ	45	Serena	Halep
Kresimir	44	Andreescu	Serena
Rob	44	Pliskova	Halep
Len	44	Keys	Andreescu
Nancy	44	Osaka	Serena
Arnaud	41	Serena	Osaka
Daniel	39	Barty	Stephens
Eric	38	Serena	Halep
Koto	34	Kerber	Stephens
Ann	26	Serena	Osaka

so… that is where you stand… Pliskova is winning and Nishikori is up a break in the fourth… ROUND 2 – DING DING DING!!!

The Commish!

I read that if you don’t have sex for a year, you can actually become ‘revirginized’…

AUGUST 27, 2019

Well… let’s start this thing out with a BANG!!! Today was just a bit more crazy then it needed to be… did you catch any of the action??? Let’s start with some boys… they were enter-taint-ting… or… well… kind of…. Well the seeds were pretty solid… 3 seeds fell today… and that seems like a blessing… Djokovic held off Carballes Baena…. straight sets.. so… that happened… Federer needed a total of 3 sets after dropping the first set 6-4 to Nadal… I mean, NAGAL… then cleared him out 1, 2, 4… you thought I was going to say 3… that was a bit dodgy rodgy…. Medvedev dispatched Gunneswaran in three… Nishikori in a 6-1, 4-1 retired match over Trungelliti… oh well… better luck next year… Wawrinka needed 4 sets over Sinner… yes, most of us need an extra set over a sinner…. well.. isn’t that all of us… that’s what the biblioteka says…. Olpeka over #11 Fognini…. OUCH says some people… you had him DEEP in the heart of Italy… clap clap clap clap… four sets… but the American took out Panetta’s hubby… Lopez needed four sets to rid the US open of the #26 Fritz… awww a 16 year old was removed by lucky loser Lorenzi of Italy in five sets… I don’t think that poor boy was ready for the big leagues… Nishikoa too out Giron in four sets… Evans <SNIFF> took down Mannarino…. in a revenge match Barrere took down Norrie… 7-6(2) in the fifth… remember… it is all tiebreaks at the US Open… Berdych was taken out by an American Upstart in four sets… Brooksby… they called it.. I didn’t listen… DAMN IT!!!… Dellien over Kwon… ok… yay… Goffin needed fur over Moutet… Majchrzak over Jarry in five… 6-4 in the fifth to be exact…. Coric over Donskoy… Bagel Third! 🙂 de Minaur needed four over the Herbert of France… Koephfer over Munar in four… Pouille over Kohlschreiber in four sets… Berankis over Vesely… five sets… that was TOUGH in 4 hours and 16 minutes… four minutes shy of the Lorenzi match… which was the longest of the day…. Garin over Eubanks… Basilashvili wins a match… five over Fucsovics… Carreno Busta over #19 Pella… Dimitrov also wins a Match!!! four over Seppi… Klahn over Monteiro… Kudla over Tipsarevic… Cuevas over Sock…. Kecmanoivc over Djere (match of the Serbs)… Chardy over Hurkacz…. ACK!!! five for Chardy… I thought you were injured…. Lajovic over Darcis and Dzumhur over Benchetrit… exactly… no clue… ugh… what you gonna do???

Start off… Barty… giving people fits?!!?! three sets over Diyas… OUCH!! Pliskova… 7-6, 7-6 over Martincova…. who??? oh, right… Sharapova didn’t have enough to make an issue of Serena… Serena swore back in 2004, She will never beat me again… and well 6-1, 6-1 kinda makes that happen… bye Felicia!!! Venus over Zheng 6-1, 6-0…. BAM!!! Keys over Doi…. Mladenovic… over …. ummmm…. #14 Kerber…. come on… surprised??? BYE Colleen… Kenin over her… 6-3 in the SECOND!!! Konta took 3 sets to rid Kasatkina…. Svitolina over Osuigwe 7-5 in the second… Sevastova over Bouchard…. Alexandrova over Stosur… Jabeur over #27 Garcia of France… ACK!!! lawd… why can’t we have nice things!!! I like Jabeur… but NOT TODAY!!! Want over Dolehide… Zhang over Golubic.. WAIT.. that was SUPPOSED to be Vondrousova!!! damn it… for ALL OF US!!! Zhu over Want… Martic took 3 over Zidansek…. Yastremska over Niculescu… this is a LOT of 3s…. Swiatek… ok… take it back… 6-0, 6-1 over Jorovic… Peng through over Lepchenko… Muchova over Rybakina…. McNallly over Bacsinszky…. 6-4, 6-1… Beters over Puig in 6-3 times 2… Bera lost to Bolkvadze… Hsieh over Cepelova… Davis over Larsson 7-5, 6-2…. Siegmund over Frech… Sasnovich over Brady… 6-1, 4-6, 6-0… Sakkari over Giorgi… Bogdan over Dart of the UK… Gasparyan over Hon of Australia…. Ferro of France of Gavrilova… and Last BUT not least… Van Uytvanck over Kuzmova with a pair of 6-4s…

Da’ BOYS – with the selected CHAMPION – 8 Djokovic, 3 Federer and 2 Nadal… YAWN!!! oh, & Tsitsipas YAY!!!

Phirman	24	Federer
Kurac	23	Djokovic
Kresimir	21	Djokovic
Russ	21	Djokovic
Ann	21	Nadal
Nancy	21	Nadal
Daniel	20	Federer
Olivier	20	Tsitsipas
Eric	19	Djokovic
Rob	19	Djokovic
Koto	19	Djokovic
Len	18	Djokovic
Peter	17	Djokovic
Arnaud	17	Federer

Lady Leaders – with the selected CHAMPION – 6 Serena, 3 Osaka, 1 Barty, 1 Pliskova, 1 Keys, 1 Andreescu & 1 never gonna happen this year Kerber…

Kurac	25	Osaka
Kresimir	24	Andreescu
Peter	24	Serena
Rob	23	Pliskova
Olivier	23	Osaka
Phirman	22	Serena
Len	21	Keys
Daniel	21	Barty
Russ	21	Serena
Koto	21	Kerber
Nancy	21	Osaka
Eric	20	Serena
Ann	19	Serena
Arnaud	18	Serena

so much yet to happen… ladies and gentleman of the jury… I would like you to look over here… and well… we see the quarter finals in your future… wait… what??? The Quarterfinals… yep… gonna be there… more later…

The Commish!

2018

September 10, 2018 – I hope we never find life on other planets because there’s no doubt that the U.S. Government will start sending them money…

I guess that is the end… and the curtain is closing on the two weeks of the US Open… there was SO much colorful commentary during the men’s final match between Del Potro v Djokovic… but we’re going to start with the women’s doubles final… Mladenovic and Babos v Barty and Colleen… it was a very good first set… but the French/Hungarian team pulled out the victory 6-3… second set went to a tie breaker and was won by the Australian/American duo 7-6(2)… the third set also went to a tie breaker and it was match point #3 for Colleen and Barty and Mladenovic double faults and gives the victory 7-6(6) in the third set tiebreaker!!! YAY Australia…  moving on… the Boys single winner was Seboth Wild of Brazil who was seeded 6th in the tournament… he took down the Italian Musetti 6-1, 2-6, 6-2… Wang of China took out Frenchie Burel in straight sets… 7-6(4), 6-2 to take the junior girls division… and now we go to the final of the final match… men’s final…

Djokovic moved very well in this match and it didn’t really seem that Del Potro was going to get any chances to really break… Djokovic took the first set 6-3… Broke Del Potro rather early in the second set and was broken right back which moved into the tie breaker… Del Potro had some chances… it was momentum shifts which only would last a few points… so, it never really got going for Del Potro and he lost the tie breaker 7-6(4)… ugh… another break and break back and another break… there were some FANTASTIC points played… but it was all Djokovic and he takes the crown 6-3 in the third set… there was a point which took almost 20 minutes… so… there was some stress… but in the end… trophy is lifted…

so… that means… as we all know… Rob wins his first tournament… he finishes with a total of 221 points… and that is pretty good!  Congrats to him… those of us who spend time with him will likely suffer at the albino peacocking we will all have around us until the end of January… so… yay… for all of us…
Second ends up being Russ with 220… yes, one point does make all the difference… you had 17 aces and Djokovic served ONE!!!
Peter you are officially 3rd place with 220 and your 22 aces…
Len with 212 puts you in fourth place for the tournament… good job sir!!!
Kresimir will be in fifth with 208… feeling a bit happy with that result…
Eric you will finish sixth and at 201… you led this bracket for the longest time… I was and am SUPER impressed with your picks and how well you did!!!
Kotonias you finish next with 174… didn’t pan out for Federer but your points with Del Potro to the final fished out the extra you needed to go up…
Daniel… didn’t get miserable last in EITHER!!! good job… 165… better than a kick in the teeth…
Lisa you end up just next to last… but victory is victory and always tastes sweet… 151 for you…
Phirman… yep… you stay the same… love you boo!!! 132…

I will be adding all the points and changing the yearly standings… Tis the end of the Year!!! New winners and losers… have a great fall and we will see you down under!!!

The Commish!

September 9, 2018 – An ‘extremely credible source’ has called my office and told me that @barakobama’s birth certificate is a fraud…

so… MAYBE you’ve heard… and maybe you are living under a LOT of rocks… like you’re a badger that lives in a stone house… possibly a pig… but I didn’t want to start there… the point, game, set and match… WELL it was a repeat of 2009; although, Serena stated it was more 2004… so… here is what happened… Me… sitting in a bar in Medrona, WA… next to me is Rob… possible winner of the men’s draw… me with a pint of beer 9 percent alcohol… him… “Cadillac Margarita”  rocks no salt… although he did put on the salt… and grimace from the Brit… oh right… tennis… now the sound was off… we were just watching the match… as it began there was a table in the bar who was trying to watch the Georgia v South Carolina football game… (american, not soccer)… match comes on and Osaka is playing out of her mind… the first set slips through Serena like water in a sieve… seriously… this girl from Japan is seriously just playing incredible tennis… the first set goes to the way of the underdog, Osaka 6-2… she hit the ball cleanly and didn’t have any horrible percentage in the first set… she was on top and with good reason…

Set two begins and they are comfortably on serve 1-1… Serena holds her second game and then BREAKS… we have a potential match… then coaching violation against Serena… wait… what… then we cut to her coach who is moving in a manner which is seemingly a signal… forward-back with his arms and hands… do you know what it means??? no, me either… but the violation is given and Serena immediately goes to the chair and states that she would rather loose the match than cheat… yes, Serena isn’t a cheater… not her style… nor do I see many ‘cheaters’ in the tennis game… well, ok Felicia… YOU… eat a fucking banana… Serena has words on the change over and feels comfortable with continuing… then break back and Serena breaks her racket… now how did that get down there??? so… point given for the second violation… we all know the rules… violation ONE – warning… violation TWO point given… remember 2009??? Clijsters v Serena and the “foot fault” incident??? I do… “I’m going to shove this fucking ball down your fucking throat”… UH-HUH!!! well that “violation” cost the point, which cost the game which Serena lost the match… see… point, game, set, match… FULL CIRCLE girl… now… as it continues through the next change over, Serena was demanding an apology from the chair umpire… then she called him a “thief” – ok… not necessary, but not the worst thing you can be called… and I am SURE he has been called worse… by men… in similar situations… and I am sure, it isn’t going to be something he is particularly pleased with himself on… come on… a thief??? she didn’t call you a queef… or quief… she stated you stole a point because of a bad call on the coaching… she seemingly was fine with the call on the racket violation… catching up??? ok… so that is a game… not a point… so Osaka went up 5-3 in the second set… Serena complained to the tournament director and what appeared to be a very white lady tournament director… even stating that she knows for a FACT that the exact umpire has been called MUCH worse by men on the tour and they have received NOTHING in violation… ok… I know she is right… BUT… you still have to act like a professional… this is the part that I HATE… ready… Mary Jo Fernandez made the most appropriate comment about this AFTER the Match was over… she said… the chair umpire should have said… hey, continue on and I will have to default you again for attacking me… leaving it up to Serena to make that decision… She called him a “thief” for giving the first violation… the third for attacking an umpire… so, game Osaka… the Crowd at the stadium has no information about what is going on… Osaka doesn’t know what is going on… this is literal pandemonium… crowd is booing… Serena is crying and complaining to the “white lady” who is feigning a response… Seriously??? this is the FINAL of the US Open… chaos… ok… so it wasn’t a riot… but… wow…  Serena holds to love on her serve and Osaka is up 5-4 and serves it out with her 6th Ace of the match (important information for later)… and it is over… there were additional tears and now this win isn’t a win… it is a terror of boos and hisses… this poor lady who is 20 years of age, and has JUST FUCKING won her first Major… first Asian to win the US Open… first Japanese to win a Major Event on the tour is being attacked for playing amazing tennis :|… Naomi… if you are listening… you were incredible… you played AMAZING tennis and from me here at Double-up Bagel… you are an inspiration… you are remarkable… and you won the US Open 2018… none of us believed you could do it… I mean, hell I had Kiki Bertens to the final… 7 OF THE OTHERS HAD SERENA TO WIN!!! – don’t hit me… 🙂 Congratulations to YOU NAOMI OSAKA!!! future of tennis is here, NOW… 6-2, 6-4… side note, if Serena wanted to win, you cannot be down 2-6 and expect to just rely on “passion” get it together girl… you must be ahead all the time… love to you Serena…

for you… so… nothing changes…

James PHIRMAN– #WINNER – with 205
Kotonias (James) – second with 199
Rob with 178 and clear third
Lisa with Fourth place with 172
Peter ends with 171
Eric is SIXTH with 7 aces (6) and 170
Russ you are seventh with 11 aces and 170 points… #sorrynotsorry
Daniel… I don’t know how you did it… but you finish with 132… #bastard
Kresimir with 7 aces… (6 total for Osaka) takes a lovely 9th place…
MISERABLE LAST!!! – Len, who apparently states he doesn’t know how to pick a lady… aw… sweetie… none of us do!  that’s kind of the point… but, I have seen you do MUCH better in the draw… maybe just look up the word queef #quief and see what happens in Australia…

ooooooh… maybe more dramatics on the tomorrow MEN’s Match!!! #nailbiternomore… lovely mani pedi for EVERYONE!!!

The Commish!

September 8, 2018 – Why would Kim Jong-un insult me by calling me “old,” when I would NEVER call him “short and fat?” Oh well, I try so hard to be his friend – and maybe someday that will happen!…

Well… we can start by stating that the Men’s matches yesterday were no, “Super Saturday” from 1984… whomp whaaaa… no 5 set thrillers with one person screaming throughout the match clawing their way to victory… Pat Cash, Chris Evert and Jimmy Conners were the fatalities of that day as Martina Navratilova, Ivan Lendl and John McEnroe survived… so… no, it wasn’t like that… BUT it was some tennis… let’s start off with some doubles results… that would be nice for a change 🙂

Mike Bryan and Jack Sock are taking on the pairing of Lukasz Kubot and Marcelo Melo… hehehe say that five times… cause it is just fun… The match was intense… there are some things on the line… at least for Mike Bryan… if he wins… he becomes the oldest grand slam male tennis player to win a doubles Major at 40… AND he takes over the lead in for most male doubles tennis titles at Majors, this would be 18… good luck catching Martina who has 31 lady doubles titles and and 10 mixed doubles titles… and just for fun… let’s throw in her 18 singles titles… yeah… she won a mixed doubles major at the age of 49 with Mike’s twin, Bob in 2006… her first major title was mixed doubles, at the French Open in 1974, with a tennis racket… the first set was pretty straight forward… 6-3 in favor of the Americans… Sock looked really good and I am thinking… wow… where is this person on the singles court??? but I digress… the second set was a hitting clinic by Sock and they took the match 6-1 in the second set… Mike gets his hardware…

boys… boys… boys… so… the Nadal v Del Potro was first on… and Del Potro took the first set in a tie breaker… in the second set… Nadal complained about an out call on the sideline which hindered his ability to hit the ball… he walked to the chair and complained and said, “I am going to retire anyway” so… wait… what??? that was a bad way to call the point and I am going to retire… why not just retire??? #confused… anyway… after the second set completed with Del Potro winning 6-2, Nadal shook the hand of the chair umpire… expressed some words to Del Potro and well done and done… so, that was fun… Del Potro to the final… what is going to happen with this Nishikori v Djokovic match… well… it wasn’t too interesting either… every time there is even a remote option to say that person isn’t moving well on ONE point, the commentators are ALL over it and oh, I think he’s injured… Djokovic played a very clean match… with 29 unforced errors to Nishikori’s 51… the match was done in 2 hours and 23 minutes… with a 6-3, 6-4, 6-2 victory for Djokovic… and off to a match up with the #3 seed on Sunday…

For YOU…

Del Potro wins… Eric wins… Djokovic wins… Rob wins… see… in black writing in the post… so easy… don’t do it… ahp… nope… nope… nope… not today satan… read em and weep…

Eric – you have 201 points… now… you can no longer get any more points… and next year… you have to defend these points…
Rob – you have 191… JUST behind… 10 points… but 30 for Djokovic winning will set you up nicely…
Russ & Peter… you still both are tied… you have 190 and you cannot beat Rob, nope… you cannot… BUT 16 aces vs 22 aces for the WINNER will be interesting for a tie breaker… you both have Djokovic to win…
Len you have settled into fifth right now with 182 and that is a good tournament… 30 more points never hurt though, right??? You have Djokovic winning… so… yay you…
Kresimir is next with 178… out of the bottom of the lady draw and up to 6 of 10… 178 and more points to gain for Djokovic…
The rest of you are DONE and DONE… no more points to gain… y’all had Federer to win this and well, it didn’t happen…
Kotonias leads the last four with 174… still in NYC and preparing for the women’s final… I am sure it will be amazing!!! HOLLAH!!!
Daniel picked it up in the end and goes up to 165 with his pick of Del Po to the final…
Lisa you will remain at 151 but… you aren’t last…
Phirman… you fell, hit your head and have been in the gutter ever since… DON’T TIP THE GAME BOARD!!! losing has it’s perks… less point to defend next year… and well you got points that the injured players DIDN’T so suck on that lemon… but, you’re still miserable last….

Lady Final…. we could be witnessing history… will Serena match that C*^& from down-under??? no, not you Daniel… a different one… let’s call her Molly – I think Daniel will get the reference… or will we witness history in the first Asian woman to win the US Open women’s title… in fact, she would be the first Asian to win the US Open… so… there is history on both sides of the net tonight… enjoy the tennis!!! Especially the one who is there!!!

The Commish!

oh… Murray and Mattek-Sands just beat Mektic and Rosolska 2-6, 6-3, (11-9) in the 10 point tie breaker to win the mixed doubles… it is fascinating to note that Mattek-Sands had a knee injury just last year in Wimbeldon and here she is winning a doubles title… impressive stuff…

September 7, 2018 – Are the investigative “journalists” of the New York Times going to investigate themselves – who is the anonymous letter writer?…

ummm if you know… then they’re not anonymous… well… today’s semis were a bit of a let down… well… not in intensity just in length… Serena took the first set 6-3… I watched the first game of the second set and took Milow for a walk… that’s my dog… it was a shorter walk cause I wanted to see what happened… and then… well… um… the match was over… 6-0 Serena over #19 Sevastova… it was pretty awesome to note that Serena kept up her intensity of winning until she was closer to the net and saw the eyes of her opponent… she immediately softened… it was a very wonderful thing to see… humanity… there are a lot of people in this world who fight daily… but they need to remember there is humanity inside each of us… match number 2 is off and running and it is Keys v Osaka… both are higher seeds and the first set went to the Japanese 20 year old… 6-2… and in true Stephens fashion… I mean Keys… Keys dumped the match… in 1 hour and 26  minutes… and off and running with a SUSHI ROLL into the finals… good for Osaka taking out the #14 Keys in straight sets… 6-4 in the second…

No one gets any points aside from Serena points… and the people who get them move forward… the San Diego boys take first and second… no one else is really close…

Phirman – 205
Kotonias – 199
Rob – 178
Lisa – 172
Peter – 171
Russ & Eric are at 170 each… hmmm this is a change… did I get something wrong earlier  – 😦  ugh… I will re-review…
Daniel… wait… what evil witchery is this??? omg… he isn’t last… something happened with the posting and I didn’t check the math!!! so… this is now showing that Daniel has somehow pulled up his knickers and moved past miserable last… with 132…
Len & Kresimir are now vying for miserable last because they didn’t believe in Serena… THAT WILL TEACH THEM…  I am guessing the system made some kind of error (SHOCKING!!!) but I will recount… to ensure this isn’t incorrect… damn it… ok… 122 is the final toll for you both… so… it will be the amount of aces served up by the winner which will break the tie… Len has the number of 4 for aces… He had Halep to win… so that isn’t a bad number choice… Kresimir had Bertens to win and although she is tall, she doesn’t serve a huge amount of aces… and his number is 7… that will be the tell all on Saturday… how many aces will Serena OR Osaka Serve in order to decide who wins Miserable LAST…

Doubles finals are also about to go down… so that is exciting…. most of you will be happy to know that Colleen made the final in women’s doubles…  Jack Sock and Mike Bryan will attempt to win the men’s doubles against Kubot and Melo… Barty and Colleen will face Babos and Mladenovic in the women’s final… and Matek-Sands and Jaime Murray will face off against Rosolska (Poland) and Mektic (Croatia)… should be a lovely end to an amazing tennis fortnight… on to the men’s semis… first UP Nadal v Del Potro… then Nishikori v Djokovic… Ready to Rumble???

OH WAIT!!! James Kotonias is in NYC right now and going to go to the Women’s FINAL!!! Have a GREAT time mister!!! Enjoy the tennis and if you have any commentary… let us KNOW 🙂 🙂 🙂

The Commish!

September 6, 2018 – Nobody should be allowed to burn the American flag – if they do, there must be consequences – perhaps loss of citizenship or year in jail!…

I love the first amendment and ability to express myself… I don’t believe I would feel so free to cite such specifics about Colleen and Felicia otherwise… and it is important to note it is required to burn the flag when it is dropped on the ground… that is the actual law… but, I digress… TENNIS!!! wow… what a second quarterfinal day… in action today on the lady draw was Naomi Osaka of Japan who ousted Tsurenko of the Ukraine… did you see the scoreline 😐  OUCH… like a first round match… 6-1, 6-1… cry on that one… the second Lady match was the night match wherein #30 Suarez Navarro was sent PACKING by Keys, 6-4, 6-3… not too difficult for either one of them to pull through to a back to back US Open semifinal run… in all seriousness, all the quarters were won in straight sets… how sad is that 😐  Hopefully that means MORE TENNIS TOMORROW!!! Serena v Sevastova and Keys v Osaka… Ready to RUMBLE?!?!?!!

Men’s side today… Nishikori took out #7 Cilic in a TOUGH five setter… this lasted a bit over four hours… it was a 2-6, 6-4, 7-6(5), 4-6, 6-4 battle on Ashe… it was up and down and each point was well constructed… but the tougher fight was between Djokovic and Millman of Australia… what a great match by the Aussie… it was a straight sets victory for Djokovic; but, it was 3 hours of tennis… the rallies were incredible… 6-3, 6-4, 6-4 to Djokovic… there was a moment with Djokovic and his team… I don’t know if you saw it… he was trying to get them to get him some tablets or pills from his wife… they had no idea… it seemed like it took 1,500 people to relay the message… <eye roll>…

any way… for you…
Kotonias and Phirman each get 10 more points from the last post… and there you have the standings on the Lady side of things… the rest of you get JACK shit… same points… they go further away… GOOD riddance…

Boys were a bit different… no one had Nishikori to the semis, so no points there… however, there are 5 people who have Djokovic further… and they all get 10 points…

Eric – 181 (Nadal to win and Djokovic to final point to gain)
Rob – 171 (Nadal and Djokovic to win points to gain)
Russ & Peter – 170 ((Nadal and Djokovic to win points to gain BOTH OF THEM – warning… tie breaker on aces… Russ 16, Peter 22)  Djokovic has 24 aces for the whole tournament… Nadal has had 17… Nishikori has 22 and Del Potro has 68… so… Peter is praying for a Del Potro win… but he only loses in that scenario… so… maybe not… third place never looked sooooo lovely…
Len – 162 (Nadal and Djokovic to win points to gain)
Kresimir – 158 (Nadal and Djokovic to win points to gain)
Kotonias – 154 (Del Potro points to gain)
Lisa – 151 (Nadal Points to gain)
Daniel – 145 (Del Potro points to gain)
Phirman – 132 (no points to gain)

Eric wins this draw UNLESS Djokovic wins the tournament… if Djokovic wins… Rob wins… any other scenario… Eric wins… how are them odds??? now… here comes the test… Eric… let me see if you know what any of them look like??? no, that isn’t how this is done… Congrats boys… you both have played a marvelous game.. and may the best woman WIN!!!

Semifinal Ladies… coming UP TOMORROW!!!

The Commish!

September 5, 2018 – Kathy Griffin should be ashamed of herself. My children, especially my 11 year old son, Barron, are having a hard time with this… Sick!…

well… if it were only true… sigh… well… on to the tennis…. as Thiem and Nadal enter the fifth set… let’s get comfortable and see what happened with the rest of the matches of the day… Del Potro needed four sets to see himself into the semifinals over #11 Isner… it was first set to Isner in a tiebreaker and then 6-3, 7-6(4), 6-2… which was a great win for Del Potro and for a LOT of you who didn’t have Tsitsipas through to the final… <insert winky face emoji here)… #3 Stephens is out of the tournament to Sevastova who makes her first semifinal at a major… she tipped her hat to Stephens and was very professional… very happy for her win… Stephens was super irritated on the Court and screamed at her box and heard a discernable “Jesus Christ!” out of her <insert heart eye emojis here>  Her after match interview with the press she stated that after the US Open last year “I shit the bed” hahahahaha… Sloane just became my new FAVORITE player 🙂 love you girl… let’s do lunch!!! Serena needed just 2 more minutes to rid the field of the last of the top ten players… #8 Pliskova… after dropping down a break in the first set… she was about to be broken again… then BOOM! Serena shows up… and bang bang bang.. winner winner ace ace.. slam, whack and BANG… smoke clears… 6-4, 6-3 victory for Serena… seriously… in the first four games of the match Serena racked up 15 unforced errors… she had 15 more through the rest of the match… Pliskova was pretty amazing though in her statements before the match… She wanted to play Serena… stated that she wouldn’t feel as if she could raise the trophy unless she played and beat her… I think that shows some class… and well… she didn’t win… Nadal just finished his match and defeats #9 Thiem 0-6, 6-4, 7-5, 6-7(4), 7-6(5)… and it was an INCREDIBLE match… that was an amazing match… it is incredible to watch him, Thiem, he is going to be difficult to beat in the coming years…

This boy’s match is quite impressive… point after point… great hitting and athleticism… maybe both of them can win… well, no… that cannot happen…

well… it has come to this… Madison points for the San Diegans… they also both have Serena points to the end… so… I think we know how this is going to end… those who don’t have Serena… you are likely to slip and sink to the bottom… you didn’t believe… sorry Len, Kresimir and Daniel… it was fun while it lasted…

Phirman – 151 and from where I stand… you will win this year’s Lady Draw…
Kotonias  – 145 and you will be second…
Rob – no one can beat you because everyone just has points like to for Serena… so you have 140…
Lisa you get fourth!!! 134 points
Peter you have 133 and will be fifth…
Russ & Eric… looks like you two will be hanging on by a thread to see who actually beats whom… you have 132…
Len & Kresimir will also have to wait until the end to see what happens… 122 a piece…
Daniel… nope, no way you can win… you end at the bottom of the heap… with a lovely 116… thanks for making it over the 100 marker… unlike some people we know…

Men’s draw will likely never finish… but if you have Nadal AND Del Potro… you  go up 20 points… not so terrible…

Eric is still in the lead with 171…
Rob is second with 161…
Russ & Peter are next with 160 each…
Kotonias is next with 154…
Len you are SIXTH with 152…
Lisa has 151…
Kresimir is still in this thing with 148…
Daniel is hunting as well with 145…
Phirman… you have maybe won the ladies… but you are going to lose the men draw… girl… get a mani and pedi and call me… MMMMKAY??? you have 132… you have nothing left to win on the top… with 10 points to gain with Cilic… but, a lot of the persons above you have that too… you can top out at 142 which is still already below Daniel… so… girl bye…

OK… so tennis is done for the night… YAY!!! much love and good luck tomorrow… well for them… not literally for you… time to sign off and press SEND

The Commish!

send…

September 4, 2018 – Let’s fight like hell and stop this great and disgusting injustice! The world is laughing at us…

well, yes, you are correct… they are laughing… NOW how is everyone doing??? it is pretty much a upside down cake right now… oh you want some pineapple??? OK… that can be arranged on the cake, but not on my pizza… so… back to NYC and what happened today… Djokovic needed just three sets to move on into the quarterfinals, 6-3, 6-4, 6-3 against Sousa of Portugal… unseeded player… but put up a bit of a fight in that second set… Cilic dispatches #10 Goffin in three sets… 7-6(6), 6-2, 6-4… Goffin isn’t a slouch and after Cilic went the distance the previous round… that was a relief… cause he has to play against Mr. Nishikori and a repeat of the final at the US Open from 2014… should be exciting… and who will Djokovic… well #2 Federer will not be there… he was just ousted by Millman of Australia… it was a 3-6, 7-5, 7-6(7), 7-6(3) win over Roger… Roger had apparently never lost to a player who was over the ranking of 50… and Millman is 55… blah blah blah… all the other stats of Roger… blah blah blah… you can tell I am sad… but, it was drop shot, drop shot, drop shot… what the fuck… anyway… there is something wrong… Roger is a superior player and this wasn’t the same Roger we have seen in the past… and NO, he isn’t retiring… so, STFU… LADIES… Tsurenko took down the Bertens-slayer in three sets… 6-7(3), 7-5, 6-2… I am sure she was STOKED… and good for her… apparently there was some gamesmanship… but… it happens… you have to stick to your game plan… and execute… she will take on Naomi Osaka of Japan who defeated #26 Sabalenka… this was a good match and a GREAT opportunity to see a new rivalry develop… they are both 20 years of age… it was SUPER exciting to watch… 6-3, 2-6, 6-4 and a great victory for either of these two to make a semi-final at a major…  The other match up was #29 Cibulkova who was ousted by Keys in straight sets… it was a 6-1, 6-3 victory for the American… and they would probably say on the television… she is the last American in the bottom half of the draw… ugh… yuck… please stop talking… but that is a pretty comprehensive win for Madison… next up for her is the winner of the Felicia v. Spanish Weasel match.. and that was looking GREAT… so much turning of backs from the Russian… so much anger Felicia… why Felicia WHY??? well #22 Felicia is gone from the tournament, that’s why… ousted by Suarez Navarro!!! YAY… well, kind of yay… I had Felicia through for ONE MORE ROUND… damn it… but… BYE FELICIA!!!

Lady Draw…
Phirman you have maintained control of yourself and still lead with 141 points on the board…
Bridesmaid Kotonias is not looking happy, but just back with 135…
Rob has stepped into less than maid of honor status… with 130…
Lisa is next with 124…
Peter you are hanging in fifth place with 123…
Len & Russ & Kresimir & Eric all have 122…
still at the bottom of the heap is Daniel with 116… that is catching up… so y’all look interested… things be happening…

Boy’s Draw…
Eric is still in the lead with a nice 151… He has all four of his semifinalists Nadal, Del Potro, Cilic and Djokovic… so… looking good Mr. Kotter…
Rob is officially in second place and a lovely dress you are wearing here… you have 141 points… and the exact picks as Eric all the way to the final… and you each selected a different winner… so, that’s the decider…  for you two…
Peter & Russ each have 140… now here is the kicker… Peter has the same semifinalists as Eric… Russ does NOT have Cilic… and he made a poor life decision with Zverev… so… we will see what happens on Wednesday… I hear a Nishikori fan in our midst…
Kotonias you have Del Potro over Nadal so that is the only points you have left to gain… Fed is OUT… but for now… you have 134…
Len is next with 132… he has no Cilic… but all the rest are the same… with a Djokovic toppling the current champ in the final…
Lisa is banging around with 131… no Cilic… has a Nadal making it to the final… so… we’ll see…
Kresimir is back a bit with 128… but with an exact ending like Rob & Russ – Djokovic to win… beating Rafa… Del Potro and Cilic to the semis… there are roses in the air… SNIFF!!!
Daniel has 125… Del Potro to the final… so… this isn’t over… things can always change UP!!! He does have Cilic points to gain… so again… there are more and more Nishikori supporters…
Phirman, you have a Nadal point to gain… and a Cilic point to gain… but so does Daniel… so, it is HIGHLY Likely you are going to remain in miserable last… boo hoo… keep going on them… I am sure we can all make it loud enough to hear… BOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOO!!!! it isn’t official… but, I am good at this prediction… LOVE YOU!!! currently you have 122…

so there you have it… end of the fourth round… moving on to the quarters… NERVOUS!!! I am cheering for Serena on the inside… cause I still need her out to do well in this bracket.. #selfish… so.. enjoy the tennis!

The Commish!

September 3, 2018 – Sorry losers and haters, but my I.Q. is one of the highest – and you all know it! Please don’t feel so stupid or insecure, it’s not your fault…

everyone alright??? it appears that the dust is settling… it was quite a ride yesterday… learning all our good friends we spend so much time watching really SUCK some donkey balls… day 7 at the US Open my friends… and yes, I have been accused of sucking some donkey balls… it happens… but accusations are not always true… remember, in this country… at least for now… we are innocent until proven guilty… get away Eeyore… Del Potro had a quick win over #20 Coric, 6-4, 6-3, 6-1, there seemed to be an issue with his hamstring… so… well… moving on… Nadal needed another 4 sets to defeat a man who he rarely dropped a game to… it was a 6-3, 6-3, 6-7(6), 6-4 victory over Basilashvili… Thiem needed only three sets to dispatch last year’s runner up at the US Open, #5 Anderson… it isn’t a terrible loss, Anderson has had a great 12 months… reaching the final also at Wimbledon… but if it isn’t done in 5 sets… he seemingly cannot win… Isner is the last American man standing in the draw… he had a five set victory over #25 Raonic… now… the ONLY surprising thing is the scoreline…. ready… 3-6, 6-3, 6-4, 3-6, 6-2 victory for Isner… WHAT is missing??? come on… dig down… look for it… wait for it… wait for it… NO TIE BREAKER?!?!!?! WTF (wo)man… I would like to dig into the archives where Isner did NOT have at least one set which went to a tiebreaker… there were some upsets here on the women’s side… but nothing over the top… #7 Svitolina is out of the tournament losing to Latvian Sevastova… it was a three set match but with a 6-0 #bagel – third set… well, piss off Ukraine… Pliskova looked in good form holding off #18 Barty of Australian… she isn’t pretty, but she can play… Stephens had a good day at the office holding off #15 Mertens 6-3, 6-3… Mertens beat Sloane in Canada just a few weeks prior… so, that was a good victory for her… Serena took 3 sets… after taking the first set 6-0 #bagel… she dropped the second set 4-6 and came back to win the match 6-3… who knows which Serena will show up against Pliskova… but, the one who does will be good and if not successful, will have a list of excuses…

Lady Draw – half way through the Fourth Round – remember (5 points per correct PICK)…

Phirman has taken the lead with 133… he has Stephens to the Semis… Keys to the final and Serena to win… hmmm… nicely done…
Rob is second currently… with 130 points… he has Felicia to the quarters… Stephens to the semis and Serena to win…
Kotonias has slipped just a bit, but is in the hunt… with 127 points… he has the exact same picks as Phirman through the end… so, that means… Kotonias cannot beat you Phirman… nope…
Lisa you are next with 124… you still have a Serena over Stephens in the semis with Serena to win it all…
Peter, you cannot beat anyone above you as you have 123 and the same picks to the end… only the top half left…
Len and Kresimir you both have 122 points… Len you can push forward with Kresimir so long as Stephens makes the semis… Kresimir has Felicia AND Sabalenka and can gain 10 more points… So, in order to make this all interesting… IF Serena loses on Tuesday… Kresimir could overtake a LOT of people… who are currently rising… he has Stephens to the final… hmm… y’all forgot about that eh???
Russ and Eric also currently have 122 points… just like the two above… FOUR way TIE… Russ has Felicia to the quarters… and Serena to win it all… but that is all you have left to gain… Eric only has Stephens losing to Serena in the semis and Serena winning it all…
Daniel… poor sweet innocent Daniel… been in last place for a very long time… so… likely will end up there… unless there is a miracle and Stephens WINS the tournament…. which could happen… Daniel has Serena to meet and lose to Stephens in the semis… and has Keys into the quarters… took a risk on the repeat champion with Stephens and that JUST may pay off… the fat lady has YET to sing… even the skinny one who is the understudy is also not singing…

stupid Boy’s Draw

Eric is still leading this mess… with 141 clearly making the good picks and with the one good hair… well done… too many still left in the draw… we’ll do the boys when we are in the quarters… just makes more sense…
Peter and Russ (uh-huh) at 130 each and in the hunt-y…
Rob is fourth with 126…. not too shabby – remember with a Nishikori win, you are moving into second…
Kotonias is next with 124…
Len has 122
Lisa just back with 121…
Kresimir… yuck with 118…
Daniel, you have JUST pulled out of miserable last… IMPRESSIVO!!! you have 115
Phirman… you now are in the cold dark dungeon… it must be dank and dark… can you smell the rats??? nibble nibble… shackles on… the ride is long and hard… I’m sure you’re ready… you have 112..

Ready for DAY 8??? whether you like it or not… Tennis is going… Keys and Nishikori are out there hitting balls and praying things go their way… Kohlshcreiber and Cibulkova are hoping for the opposite… Enjoy and Happy day for the Worker…

The Commish!

September 2, 2018 – If Hillary Clinton cannot satisfy her husband what makes her think she can satisfy America…

well this is a shitshow… I am trying to muster up the strength to deal with what occurred yesterday… it was a DARK day at the US Open… well… not for everyone… but, for just about all of you reading… it wasn’t good…  let’s start with the I don’t really care moments and build… shall we??? ok then… Felicia beat #10 Ostapenko… #KIKI…Keys was beat back in 2014 by a Serbian who she played again today… the little Krunic took the first set 6-4 and it was poised for the upset… they broke each other for the first 4 games of the third set… then Madison steadied herself and pushed through the match winning 6-1, 6-2… we don’t have the heart for this kind of tennis… #KIKI… #4 Kerber is out of the tournament losing in the third set to Cibulkova 3-6, 6-3, 6-3… #KIKI… #5 is out in round three also, cya Kvitova… dropping the two sets to Sabalenka who won the match 7-5, 6-1… ouch… #KIKI… Osaka made mincemeat out of her opponent… I mean sashimi…. DOUBLE BAGEL… over Sasnovich… in the THIRD ROUND!!! #KIKI… Tsurenko needed 1 hour and 6 minutes to dispatch Sinikova of the Czech Republic with a bagel in the second set… #KIKI… Suarez-Navarro needed three sets to down #6 Garcia 5-7, 6-4, 7-6(4)… well that semifinal isn’t going to happen… #KIKI… Vondrousova took two tiebreakers and a loss of the second set to down #13 Bertens… damn it #KIKI damn it… so, there you go… we are all out on the bottom half of the draw… HAPPY???

Whatever on the men’s side… Djokovic dispatched #26 Gasquet in straight sets… Federer over Princess Kyrgios with an apparent best shot ever… I looked at it… it was a random off the court drop shot and he scooped it up and put it in the court… it was a better get than a shot… but… whatever… #4 Zverev is OUT by compatriot Kohlschreiber in four sets… 6-7(1), 6-4, 6-1, 6-3 – that is pretty amazing and it was a great fight… Nishikori looked good over his win over #13 Schwartzman… Cilic had a scare after dropping the first two sets to the Australian child player De Minaur… Cilic stormed back and after 7 match points finally converted one… Milman over Kukushkin in four sets… #17 Pouille is out to Sousa of Portugal… last Frenchie standing… Goffin was through in straight sets over Struff 7-6(4) in the third…. so there you have yesterday’s scores… hope it was worth it… #KIKI

so… this is how it breaks down… I am going to put HOW MANY correct quarterfinal picks you have AFTER your name… lady draw is shy of options for most of you… so we’ll start THERE LADY DRAW!

so… Len (2) is you leader after the draw completes through round 3 with a total of 114 points…
Kotonias (4) is just back with 111 (3 MISERABLE POINTS)…
Phirman (5) has a total of 109…
Kresimir (5) is tied with Eric (2) & Rob (5) & damn it man… Russ (4)… they all have 106… how does this keep happening Russ???
Lisa (4) has crossed the threshold of 100 points EXACTLY…
Peter (4) girl… what happened to you??? 99 points…
Daniel (4)… well, you’ve been on the bottom so long… I think people are beginning to ask questions… you have 92 points…

boys boys boys…

Eric (7) you are still in the lead… with 121 – that is impressive and you just pulled yourself further ahead from
Russ (7) who has 115 points…
Rob (8) you are JUST behind and you are SCREAMING like a banshee… I hear you… you’re right over there… 111 points…
Peter (7) – 110 points… so maybe it is you I hear… one back from third place…
Kotonias (6) has 109 points… and not too shabby…
Kresimir (6) – 108 – jesus christ on a cracker… that’s amazing…. look at this spread… oh, it continues…
Len (6) & Phirman (5) both have 107…
Lisa (7) is at a total of 106… oh… ok… now we’re talking…
Daniel (7) BREAKS the rundown from 111 to 106 & BREAKS the 100 marker, just like Lisa in the lady draw… EXACTLY… but you are still in miserable last… so dark and deep… the secrets that you keep….

and there we are… no results as of yet… I think… but I am about to dive in… so… here we go… Round Four at the US Open… presented by anyone but the banks… (probably going to lose my job now)… #KIKI…

The Commish!

September 1, 2018 – Thank you Kanye, Very Cool!…

well, the tennis never looked so good.. and now… the seeds begin to mingle… no, not like christians… like lions… so much fun… there was a LOT of hubbabaloo over the Williams on Williams action… at first I thought it was lesbian porn and then… well, it wasn’t… so… we have to go with just a regular Friday Night and watching some tennis…

Sloane Stephens played out on Arthur Ashe stadium and took on an unseeded Azarenka… that was some quality tennis played by the American… she was calm and composed and moved her way in the round of 16 with a 6-3, 6-4 victory…  Serena played the night match, but beat older sister Venus 1 and 2… that was a smack down… there were moments where I thought… eh… she could have got that one… but… oh well… it didn’t happen… nice try Venus… some of us still love you… Pliskova just finished her match against Colleen’s twin… she knocked her out in a tie breaker, but in straight sets… so that was clean and simple… see… snap their necks and then call the cleaner… Kenin is out… Svitolina had 2 breaks of serve and a clean 6-4, 6-4 victory over Wang of China… Mertens took down #23 Strycova in straight sets… Sevastova took three sets to take down Makarova…. Barty took down Muchova… remember her, she knocked out Muguruza… so… that was fun… Kanepi sails forward beating Peterson of Sweden in a tie breaker in the second set… and that sets up the top half… wait… it is all seeds BUT Kanepi… that is kind of a shock… nicely done ladies… nicely done…

The boys were out to play and Nadal started off a bit slow losing the first set 5-7… then he fought a battle for the next three sets to win the match over #27 Khachanov… that was some good tennis all the way through… Anderson defeats the youngster from Canada, Shapovalov… remember the five set rule Anderson has… he did it again… 6-4 in the fifth set… Raonic took down Wawrinka in three sets… damn it… I thought pockmark would make it through ONE more round… damn it… Isner took four sets to oust Lajovic… Thiem took Fritz on the fritz and defeated him in four sets, 6-4 in the last of the four sets… Coric slid through quietly with his victory over Medvedev… Basiliashvili is also through over Pella in four sets… so… this one shows that all the top seeds went through and if they weren’t seeded someone won… OH right… Del Potro just knocked off #31 Verdasco… so… there you go… staying within a theme… lovely…

LADIES
Kotonias is up on top STILL in the rankings with his lovely 103 points…
Len is just back one point with 102… eerily familiar…
Eric, Russ and Rob are all next – fucking rub a dub dub… with 98 points each…
Phirman has 97…
Lisa leaps up with a total of 96 points…
Peter is back just one now with 95…
Kresimir jumps up a bit with one pick to make it a game… set… but not a match and has 90 points…
Daniel… you are still here… all alone with 84… I love a good dungeon… I hope you have a blanket… winter is coming…

BOYS
Eric is still in the lead here… that is impressive cause if you put a line up of the top 10 he would likely be able to put a name to MAYBE 2 of them… MAYBE… but, you have 106…
Russ is next with 100 points… pulling out of the ties this time… at least with the boys…
Peter has 98 and clear third…
Rob is fourth with 96 points…
Phirman & Len have 95 ponts each…
Kotonias & Lisa are in seventh with 94…
Kresimir is now from the top to close to the bottom of this list with 93… but not low enough…
Daniel is still at the bottom of the rock heap… with 88 points… I don’t know how you continually do it… there has to be someone who is more miserable than you… there just HAS to be… I am sure you just conjured up a list of at least 20 just inside your head… in… .5 seconds… yep… all tea… no shade…

let’s see what happens tomorrow… it is super saturday and the end of the third round… there are some good matches out there to be had… Kyrgios v Federer… Djokovic v Gasquet… well that is about it… the other ones will be good… but just not on paper… Sabalenka v Kvitova will be EPIC… Cibulkova v Kerber should also be a good match up… the battle of the little big ones… YAY!!! Enjoy…

The Commish!

2017

SEPTEMBER 10, 2017 can’t say I agree… selfishly, I would have wished it was an American…

so… I am back from Portland and the team I anticipated being there, showed up!!! we lost and were eliminated rather quickly… so, welcome to my world… anywho… what has been going on with the Tennis??? I think quite a BIT… OH and James P is in Seattle for a little Visit… isn’t that amazing 🙂  ok… now to the tennis…

The Last men’s quarterfinal match was Federer v. del Potro… now this was a match up of epic proportions just based on the numbers.. but with del Potro coming off his injuries and Federer not seeming quite right… this was going to be a different match… now… the points were quite fun to watch… everyone seemingly avoiding the forehand of del Potro… well with good reason.;. that is just a LASER!!! don’t want to be on the receiving end of that spanking…. in the end… del Potro raised his arms in vicorty like the Christ the Redeemer statue in Rio… well… it was a four set victory for del Potro… quite the great match of tennis for a guy who may have just disappeared in his match against Thiem…

Moving forward on to the semifinal matches… well.. you have Carreno-Busta playing Kevin Anderson… surprised… I was on one side… but, really, who else was there??? that’s right, no one… I am still up in arms that they made adjustments to the draw and didn’t take Federer to the bottom in place of Andy Murray… honestly that would have opened up the top half a bit and well, it would have been a much different tournament… in my not so humble opinion… oh well… the match was relatively one sided and Anderson eliminates Carreno-Busta 4-6, 7-5, 6-3, 6-4 to clinch his first major final… he almost looked human as he thanked his team and not like skeletor…. I think eating a sandwich every once in a while is a GOOD thing… the second men’s semifinal match was del Potro v. Nadal and the first set was all del Potro – breaking Nadal quickly and then retaining that break to win the first set 6-4… then, well Nadal kicked it up… and del Portro lost ever point in the second set (BAGEL!)…. it didn’t get better for del Potro with Nadal going behind the big man as much as possible or hitting hard to his backhand and then shooting to the open court… it was pretty much a clinic… Nadal wins this 6-3 and 6-2 in the third and fourth to mark his spot in the final…

Venus v. Stephens… I am a HUGE fan of Williams… both of them… BUT Sloane melts my heart and I am so happy she made a semi final… now, I am a bit irritated on the commentary about American Women’s Tennis… because it has always been in the shitter… such a sad and sorry line of women who perform terribly at these events and it is just so amazing to FINALLY see the American Women at the top of the game… piss off… Williams/Davenport/Seles/Capriati/Navratilova/Everett/King – right…. they never did anything… so… thank GOODNESS for these four ladies… phew… saving tennis in the name of the USA… now… how to describe this match… first set… Venus was sleeping… 1-6… second set… Stephens took a nap… 0-6… then they both came and decided to play some tennis… thanks… the fans appreciate the effort… there were so many points with long rallies… it was a truly spectacular set… in the end, Stephens claims the first spot in the final of the 2017 US Open with a 6-1, 0-6,075 victory over Venus… Second match up… Colleen v. Keys… now… this was set up as a big match… night time… and BOOM shakkalaka… done… I don’t know if Colleen ever saw the ball… Keys was a nightmare opponent… with 25 winner and 9 unforced errors who is going to lose this one… hmmm the bitch with 9 winners and 22 unforced errors… hmmm… see you later Colleen… and she CRIED like a boy with out his penis… oh my god… you lost… have some humility… Roger is quoted as saying after his match with del Potro, “Of course, it’s a pity but Juan Martin deserves it more”… now, how is that for class??? I think so… isn’t it great when she is whiny??? pour me a glass please…

Now, off to the final… this was going to be a good match, right… no… it was pretty much a repeat of the Wimbledon final… where is the fucking depth Chrissie??? Pam… what are you talking about??? this is an ASS WHOOPING!!! any way… 6-3, 6-0 and Stephens gins that infections smile and Keys (Mariah Carey dark)  broods a bit, although proud of making it this far… just really was disappointing after the routing she gave Vandeweghe… so… Sloane is your newly minted US Open Champion…

now, both the women”s and the men’s draw are completed… winners are our fresh faced virgin Steve on the men’s side and Russ on the women’s draw… so congrats to you both… very happy you won… so… down under anyone???

Women’s Draw
Russ – 205
Alex – close second with 155 – ok, not close at all – but… you know…
Daniel come in third with 148
Arnaud is fourth (good job Frenchie 🙂 – 142
Kresimir cleans up fifth with 136
Len back a bit with 112
Patrick finishes with 110
Rob ends up 8th with 108
Eric – does NOT lose with 105
Lisa and Peter have 103, but Sloane served a total of 0 aces… so… Lisa with 9 beats out Peter with 14 and PETER – you ARE officially MISERABLE LAST… thank you for getting 100 points… appreciated…

Men’s Draw
Steve you still have points to gain if Nadal wins the final… but currently you sit on top fo the pile with 150 (possible 30 points more)
The rest of you slags get NOTHING and will just sit watching Steve sip a pina colada…
Daniel you finish second with 127
Alex – 125 and clear third…
Len is next with 124
Eric in fifth with 123
Russ you are 6th with 121
Rob and Peter are in a tie for 7th… this will be fun… Peter… will you lose another tie breaker in the fifth set??? or will you go on to knock the Brit down a step and eat some strawberry shortcake on his head… Irish and British… OH SO MUCH FUN!!! maybe a new Northern Ireland… (say the word and back slowly away!!!)… so… 5 aces for Rob for the WINNER and Peter with a total of 22… hmmm this is going to be fun… Anderson could serve up some aces and Nadal… well, not so many… so… we shall see!!!
Kresimir you are next with ONE FUCKING POINT BACK with 119…
Patrick has 115…
Lisa 113…now important to note that you cleared the 100 mark… and well someone didn’t…
Arnaud – you are Miserable Last… and it feels great with bringing down the average… 97 points…

so… there you have the near end of the US Open… so much fun kids… I have one more post after the final… Hope all is well and the Hurricanes are not near you… MUAH and enjoy the Men’s Final!!!

The Commish!

SEPTEMBER 6, 2017 She was crushed by the PRESSURE!!!

2016

Aug 26, 2016 – HARD 2 OPEN – NYC Style

OK Kids – I am WAY behind – sheesh, what a moment in time… so much going on in the world of Kresimir – (coming to Dallas for Halloween – hint hint)

Aug 31, 2016 – Highlighter Yellow is the new Black…

Sept 3, 2016 – Sit down and get some water… or eat a banana… you know Sharapova Style

Sept 5, 2016 – There are days where getting out of bed is overrated… and then there is Tennis…

Sept 14, 2016 – Is it hot in this trailer or is it just me???

2015

Aug 28, 2015 – HARD COURT SEASON!!!

How is it going kids??? feeling the pull of the heat, sucking you in and making you cry??? This is going to be a TOURNAMENT to remember – will Serena pull off the Grand Slam??? Will Roger back up his defense in Cinncy and pull another win on the Hard Court at Flushing Meadows??? only time will tell and YOU are in the driver’s seat for your picks… As you know this is the LAST major of the year (sniff, sniff) Make it a clinic and let me know if you have issues and I will be happy to help.  I think we are getting in the swing of it now 🙂  well most of us 🙂

2014

Aug 28, 2014 2:44 PM – Day 3 highlights

Well as we all know it DOES happen the women have proved to be weaker near the top – #4 Radwanska goes out in round 2 to the equally crafty Peng… didn’t really seem like a good match… but there you go… China moves one step closer in the draw… American Sloane Stepehens falls to Larsson – now I almost took that one… Larsson has had a couple of good wins, but alas… that I didn’t do… sigh… sometimes we need to listen to the heart… oh well… no other upsets… Halep and Kerber won in straight sets after having some heartstopping first round matches… Jankovic, Venus, Cornet all went through easily and Sharapova had to struggle in 3 to pull out a win…