OMG… I have too much to say… ok… slow down… take a deep breath and… ok… I feel better now… let me see… tasmanian devil… check… crocodile… check… oh, right tennis… Let’s start with the draw full of ladies…
Ok… First match up was Sabalenka who had a battle with Potapova of Austria… was tested and broken… so, that is positive for those of you who have Anisimova or other player to win… the rest of us, squeezing our cheeks for a victory… 7-6(4), 7-6(7)… it was a great match… Mboko takes out #14 Tauson of Denmark… This Canadian has so much ability… she is almost there mentally… I think she is seeing the fruits of her labor, but the natural talent in movement and really seeing the ball… it is really beautiful… Putintseva put it together in the end, but this was a BRUTALLY hard match for her in the win over Sonmez of Turkey (Turkiye)… the fans… this is not a football match… people lose their minds… we are playing tennis… keep your calm until the end of the point… then cheer… why is this something that has to be continually stated… sigh… where is my paddle? Anyway… really nice match and Putintseva gets the win 6-3, 6-7(3), 6-3… Jovic… wtf girl… she grew up… I knew she could… but, whoa… that was a show over #7 Paolini of Italy… 6-2, 7-6(3)… I mainly saw the highlights, but lights out putting the Italian in all sorts of uncomfortable positions… really good match for the American… Gauff over Baptiste of the USA in three sets… another very tough competitor in Baptiste who making a third round is a great showing… 3-6, 6-0 (BAGEL), 6-3… Muchova serving up a breadstick duo in her match up against Linette of Poland 6-1, 6-1… mmm I am hungry now… Svitolina takes a win over #23 Shnaider… this makes me SOOOOO happy… Shnaider has been slightly vocal about the Russian propaganda side of the war in the Ukraine… I understand someone inside the country having that perspective… but this bitch gets out… she can read a newspaper and see that it isn’t that way #ukraine #palestine #greenland – fuck these fascists!!! 7-6(4), 6-3… She moves forward to play another russian, Andreeva… Andreeva is a different kind of Russian… devoid of politics and very much into boys boys boys… there was a clip of her playing receptionist before her match… she has a lot of intensity on the court… then we see how young and silly she can be… that was nice… She takes out Ruse of Romania in straight sets, 6-3, 6-4… Pegula over Selekhmeteva pretty quickly… 6-3, 6-2… I didn’t even have time to flip over to the screen as I was watching Keys take out Pliskova 6-3, 6-3… #13 Noskova is out to Wang, 7-5, 6-4… there are all these articles called “The Rise of Noskova,” huh… she has been around for a bit… and now she is gone… so, maybe just a LITTLE too soon… breathe… zen… ok… carry on… Anisimova over Stearns of the USA… she is a fiesty one… big on winning… I mean, they all are… but Stearns looks like a little creepy doll with her blonde hair and blue eyes… so the juxtaposition is HILARIOUS… picture it… Sicily… 1932… oh wait… wrong story… 6-1, 6-4… Rybakina over Valentova of Czechia… 6-2, 6-3… straightforward… makes sense… moving on… Mertens takes out Bartunkova of Czechia, 6-0 (BAGEL), 6-4… I will say Mertens is on a tear… she is so mentally tough… doesn’t make a lot of noise… just sneaks in… Swiatek in a topsy turvy match against #31 Kalinskaya, breadsticks for EVERYONE… 6-1, 1-6, 6-1… these matches confuse me… I can see someone going away at the end… but I feel dizzy… maybe it is my medication… who knows… where is the lid for this bottle? OK… last match… I mean, what is happening… #16 Osaka concedes to Ingis, a qualifier who has benefited the most from other players… But, it is the way the cookie crumbles… She is Australian… so, that is a nice benefit for the next round… but, Osaka does have struggles with mental struggles and I think she is very empathic… I don’t think she did the right thing in the moment of the match, and she is suffering from the worry of how a crowd will react to her after it all fell down… I can sit and type to you about a player has to be tough and go through and do hard things… but, sometimes one just can’t and they need help… I think Naomi made an error in judgement in the moment, I am sure she has reached out to Cirstea and apologized, whether it was accepted is another thing… but that is the type of person Osaka is… and she didn’t want to face the ruckus fans when she was going to play an Aussie player… I am sure she will do better in the future… Just because someone is a person of color doesn’t mean they always have to take the highest road… but, they usually do… Now, on the “fashion” side of things… what was that outfit in the last round?!?! You need to get at least ONE homosexual to say, girl… bukkake… NO! not difficult… I know it was supposed to represent jellyfish… but, it was so distracting… anyway… moving on to the boys… a little less messy… but just a little…
Alcaraz took out #32 Moutet in straight sets, 6-2, 6-4, 6-1… it was entertaining… Moutet is such a character… I feel like he tries to be like Santoro from the 90s and early oughts… but, not as successful… the magician is on the other side of this match… but, you are still cute… and that little butt… Paul over #19 Davidovich Fokina in a retirement, 6-1, 6-1 RET… Maybe Tommy can go and get a new truck now after the last one was repossessed… I know, he already got it back… but, I am not going to forget it… well… dementia is coming… maybe I will… Bublik over Etcheverry of Argentina, 7-6(4, 7-6(5), 6-4… funny story about Bublik… he has the oddest attitude about the sport and verbalizes his thoughts… He told a French publication that if it wasn’t for the money he wouldn’t play tennis… He hates the sport and is only there because it pays and he has some talent in it… I did some research and Ferrer was the same way… He was locked in a closet when he wasn’t playing well by his coach when he was little… SERIOUSLY… that was a different time… anyway… he hates tennis but has the biggest smile when things go well, or not so well… de Minaur over #29 Tiafoe of the US, 6-3, 6-4, 7-5… nothing to see here… moving on… Zverev over #26 Norrie of the UK, 7-5, 4-6, 6-3, 6-1… blech… I want him out… but, who will stop him… hmmm… maybe Cerundolo who takes out #13 Rublev 6-3, 7-6(4), 6-3… let the sands of the hourglass give us the answer… Medvedev needed five sets to get past Marozsan of Hungary… DAMN IT… Kresimir had Marozsan over Medvedev… so, you all are happy now… well those of you who picked the russian… Tien ousts Borges of Portugal 7-6(9), 6-4, 6-2… the youngster has some more to prove after making the quarterfinals last year… he also won the next gen tournament at the end of last year… Musetti over Machac of Czechia… five big sets… 5-7, 6-4, 6-2, 5-7, 6-2… Machac had a victory in a tournament last week… and Musetti lost his… so, here we are… Fritz bests Wawrinka of Switzerland and that ends Wawrinka’s run here in Melbourne forever… 7-6(5), 2-6, 6-4, 6-4… head high Stan… Mensik over Quinn of the USA, 6-2, 7-6(5), 7-6(5)… Asshat over van de Zandschulp, 6-3, 6-4, 7-6(4)… Shelton takes out #30 Vacherot of Poland… 6-4, 6-4, 7-6(5)… Ruud ends the run of Cilic of Croatia, 6-4, 6-4, 3-6, 7-5… honestly… Ruud is doing better than I would have thought… his last year was abysmal… so… Darderi takes out #15 Khachanov in four sets… 7-6(5), 3-6, 6-3, 6-4… did you notice that on the lady’s draw there are a lot of Americans… in the boy’s draw… so many Italians… speaking of… Sinner takes a win over Spizzirri of the USA 4-6, 6-3, 6-4, 6-4… really odd match… Sinner was cramping at the beginning of the third set… really badly… they closed the roof and got time to replenish and correct the issue… Spizzirri was playing really well and was very fit… the commentators were talking about fitness and the players of yesteryear would just suffer through the situation… Well not everyone signs up to watch a horror show… I think taking care of the players will ensure longevity… but, I will say, I don’t mind the torture of cramping… and one of the commentators stated, no one has died on a main tour event from playing tennis… fair… but, do we need to “suffer” to play the sport? That was a perfect Sex in the City introduction… come on… brilliant…
For you… yes, Kresimir is leading… but that lead is slipping… what was 10-12 is more like 4 (men’s draw)… Dan is second in the lady draw still with Eric now in third… The men have Eric in second in the boy’s draw with Peter just a point back for third… but, everyone is close at hand… so… more points beget more points… Besides the people we have at the top, here are the boys and girls we have selected to the quarterfinals, but they lose there…
Women’s Draw
| Name | Points | Quarterfinal and BUST |
| Kresimir | 126 | |
| Dan | 114 | |
| Eric | 108 | Jovic/Svitolina/ Pegula/Swiatek |
| Denise | 106 | |
| Len | 106 | |
| Peter | 105 | |
| Kelly | 104 | |
| Phirman | 104 | |
| Kotonias | 102 |
Men’s Draw
| Name | Points | Quarterfinal and BUST |
| Kresimir | 124 | de Minaur/Zverev/ Musetti/Shelton |
| Eric | 120 | de Minaur/Zverev/ Fritz/Shelton |
| Peter | 119 | de Minaur/Medvedev/ Fritz/Ruud |
| Phirman | 118 | de Minaur/Cerundolo/ Djokovic/Shelton |
| Len | 118 | de Minaur/Zverev/ Djokovic/Shelton |
| Kelly | 117 | Bublik/Medvedev/ Fritz/Shelton |
| Denise | 114 | |
| Kotonias | 109 | de Minaur/ |
| Dan | 103 | Bublik/ |
That’s about the size of round three of AO2026… moving on to the fourth round to determine who makes the quarters… so much fun… temperature drops to something much more tolerable… 86 for today (tomorrow)… but Tuesday 109… so… that will be fun… at present… the final on Sunday, that high temperature is 72… that is some batshit crazy range… welcome to global warming… have fun storming the castle… MUAH!
The Commish!
DOUBLE-UP BAGEL 